Undergraduate / "The Bus" - Common app Prompt; Perfectly Content [7]

This is a common app prompt that my teacher wanted me to do but unfortunately i got a well below. The prompt was: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

I also had to communicate three qualities about myself. i chose Harmonious, Problem Solver, Ambitious
This Essay was about the bus.
My teacher wrote that this was weak in meaning and i didnt show any of my qualities. Could you help me with my problems and give me advice on what to change?

Where is it?" I thought to myself at sunrise. I kept looking into its path waiting apprehensively for its arrival. Here it comes "one minute left...oh I see it!" A gust of cold wind rushes by as the bus decelerates a few feet away. As the bus was slowing down gravel cracked under the vehicle's heavy tires every inch it went. Finally the bus came to a stop and the door opened revealing the usual scheduled bus driver. As I stepped on, the sound of the hydraulics leaning the bus towards me went off. At that same moment I flashed my bus pass and greeted the bus driver with a simple "Hi". Once I got on, the doors quickly closed and the bus surged on to the next awaiting bus top.

I walked down the aisle finding that my usual seat beside the window wasn't taken. As I planted myself on to the seat, I felt the cold material give me a chill down my spine. The morning bus was packed and yet I felt isolated. Every person on that bus all sat by one another, but didn't even blink twice to know each other enough to start up a conversation. I laid my bag on my lap and crossed my arms over to get into position for an hour long ride to town. All my worries slowly drifted away and all the pressure on my shoulders was lifted. The tranquility of the engine and coolness of the ac brought my mind at ease. I leaned my head over to the hazy, morning chilled window and let the vibration of the bus drift me off, I was at peace.

I hopped on to the afternoon bus and greeted the bus driver with a smile. This time the bus was filled with people just trying to get home without having to deal with traffic. I reached the overhead handle, cold at the touch; the handle creaked forward as I pulled it. I stood there thinking to myself and planning my day ahead. Suddenly my thoughts shifted, I was now thinking about my past recollecting my memories that I had that day. All these thoughts in my head charged in one by one as the bus veered onto the highway with sun shining through the windows. As I there ruminating my problems finding a way to fix them until I reach the right solution, then suddenly the bus came to a stop and I snapped back to reality.

The bus shot out onto the freeway, ignoring every car it went past. The rain patted against the window in heavy droplets like the tears of the heavens was brought upon us. I started to think about the world and how every peace fits together so perfectly. The entire ride like in that serenity everything makes sense and the pieces for this enormous puzzle were finished. All that I want is waiting for me, all my things belong at that place, and I know what my purpose is at the end of this journey. Every person on that bus has somewhere to go and somewhere to be, each person with their individual path to go. I am just like them knowing my future and prepared to deal with it.

I pulled the stop line and the monitor blinked red with the words stop requested. This long awaiting ride has come to an end and I'm only a few yards from it. As I slowly walked towards the rear door I noticed that I have a clear vision of what my road will be and that any problem that I face on the way I can get through. All I need to do is to keep calm and stay collected. I reach my foot for the warmth of the ground ready and confident to do anything.