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Posts by Zihni92
Name: ZIHNI IHKAMUDDIN
Joined: Jan 29, 2015
Last Post: Mar 13, 2015
Threads: 3
Posts: 8  

From: Indonesia
School: Diponegoro University

Displayed posts: 11
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Zihni92   
Feb 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / 'life is never flat' - Media as a way to help each other [6]

IELTS Task II
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singer or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinady people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree.


The common type of amusement which a media entertainment has generally contained about lifestyles of famous people. Some people believe that luxury style can influence their lifestyle and it happened to all at once. A part of those fields consisted of affiliation and reside. The main role of the media in getting an interest in the viewer so it can increase the rate of their program. Nevertheless, there are some people think that the broadcast committee should change the media habitable and should give more attention to real lifestyle.

Group of people who say 'yes' in the case of media should entertain so they must show something that can produce the viewers happy, a head of life style some people in west Indonesia, for example way of Syahrini's life which tell viewers about shopping, and traveling to tourism area. This program can make point of view on the glamour of lifestyle.

On the other hand, some people believe that many people still needs help. We can see in some place in Indonesia which consist of different condition in each island. Due to the way of life, Indonesia has different condition between in the east and west part of Indonesia. Furthermore, some people life in poor condition for example in Grogos island, East Maluku which the native citizen life without an electricity. They need our help to improve their area.

To sum up, I believe that 'life is never flat' shows us on the media as the core of entertainment should give an amusing and an education for the watcher, like it is a way of life. It will be better if the director of the media should apply to combining the program between famous and poor lifestyle without making bored the viewer, they can combine both of them to produce something new like life in urban and sub district. This action is needed to make the watcher can see in real life must help each other.
Zihni92   
Feb 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / Study once specialist subject or a series of subjects in universitiy [6]

Hi Mumtazdinar, you speak the topic well, but I found some mistakes in your conclusion

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that although once specialist subject makes the graduates to be a professional person, the universities have to provide additional subjects to improve their students' attitude. However, students who learn some additional subjects such as religion subject [subjects] will come up with the best solutions. It is imperative that adding spiritual subject in the curriculum gives benefits to [for] the graduates and environment where they work or live.

* you wrote 'subject' in to much words (28 repetitions), it can be replaced by theme, topic, motif, or keynote.
Zihni92   
Feb 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / HOW COLOUR CAN EFFECT PEOPLE'S FEELING [3]

Hi Putri, You addressed I have some corrections for you

Colour is basic substances which can possibly fast caught by eyes. For this reason, some expert [experts] have a perspective that colour enables to influence humans' feeling.

Admittedly, people work in huge variety of high contras [contrast] colours which decoration used to find out difficult to concentrate on their works since room colours influence their moods and thoughts.

In addition, the impact of [on] colours boost work performance for wokers in offices.

As [a] consequence, green colours coming as a therapy to stimulate body and mine medical field.

Overall, It doesn't matter if you have some mistakes, just do your best

Best Regards,
Zihni92
Zihni92   
Feb 23, 2015
Writing Feedback / TASK 2 : I argue that the state should pay the course fee at univesities for us [2]

Someone believe that government should pay the course fees for everyone who wants to study at universities.
Do you agree or disagree ?

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Education as a need of human's life. As per some experts, the government should responsible for any course fee that their citizen takes at universities. From my point of view, I would believe that government should pay the course of citizens who it is showing brilliant in professional qualification also should investigate the parents and teacher association work.

...
Zihni92   
Feb 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / Good friends are as valuable as pearls in life; TOEFL essay [5]

Hi vahid,
I found some mistakes in your essay,

One of them; Mahdi(,) is very clever, intelligent, and genius and he is also very kind to me.

Could you tell me, why you use comma after the name? I think, it will be better if I write S + V

One of the most important aspects in a friendship is to be honest so that you can rely on eachother .

a : i think you should use the as you have mentioned before
eachother: each other

As you know he may tells lies, you can not believe him.
It is very clear when someone is not honest with you, you can not count on him or her.
For instance, For me, Ali (who is honest to me), is not only my close friend, he is as one of my family members.

may tells: may + verb bare infinitive right ?
can not: cannot
For: after comma not use capital letter

You always feel comfort beside a honest person.

a: you should use an if the next word begins with a vowel sound, even if the letter is not a vowel

CMIIW
Zihni92   
Mar 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS - governments subsidize museums, theaters and other arts, and it concerns many people. [3]

Hi autumn_waltz,
I am keen on your writing, and I still do not understand with the meaning, could you explain more ?

1. this is the IELTS task 2 right, as far as I know, we must write at least 250 words, why you just write by 239 words?
2. in this body paragraph, you just write about your opinion, it is possible for IELTS task 2 ? can you share the reference material ?

and after I read this, I want to ask you more

The fact of the matter is that art galleries and museums [are] powerful educational tools that may facilitate the intelligent and cultural growth of the population. In order to make museums accessible to general public, the low costs of the tickets should be maintained, which gives rise to the need for the investment.

are: in my grammar book, if we use clause, the verb must be singular, why you put 'are' in there ?

I hope you can help me to answer that I confuse in this passage,CMIIW

thanks you,

best regards
Zihni
Zihni92   
Mar 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / I do not agree to follow the same curriculum through all that period of time; GRE essay [7]

Hi Barrera,
after I read your writing, I want to ask you some questions:
1. It is IELTS writing task 2, as far as I know, we should write at least 250 words, why you just write by 243 words ?

2. is that the complete question?

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college

3. I found that you write 2 verbs (do and want), is the word 'want' as a noun ?

This process starts with preschool all the way to grade 12, where we already have formed our own criterion and have an idea on which role we [do want] to play during the rest of our productive lives, whether we decide to continue through college or simply choose a different path.

4. I though that you write 2 subjects, we and humans, I suggest you write We as humans

[We humans] are very different individuals as we all have our own very particular skills and capabilities, such as our own way of learning, our own way to perceive and express things.

I hope you can help me to answer my questions,CMIIW

thanks you,

best regards
Zihni
Zihni92   
Mar 13, 2015
Writing Feedback / The carbon cycle in our life - from fossil fuels to photosynthesis [4]

Hi, please help me to make my writing better, please give me some recommendations about my IELTS writing task 1

The diagram illustrates the way in which the carbon is recycled in the daily life. It can be seen that there are three stages in the process, beginning with exploration of fossil fuels and decomposition of natural resources.

...