essayvision
Feb 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "An entrepreneur at heart" - economics, reasons for transferring, objectives [8]
Overall, your reasons are quite clear, although I would take the following into consideration:
Firstly, you do mention that after spending a semester at Penn State, you knew Economics was the right field for you. Your main reason for transfer seems to be mainly because of the need for better education as you label it as an "upgrade". I would be careful as to not look down too much at your current school, as it can imply negative image for the tone. I would look into more of an appreciative tone such as "while penn state offered great leadway into my intial studies in Economics, I believe that..." Replace the "upgrade" with "resources" and mention how NYU's specific resources can benefit you.
I would also avoid starting your third paragraph with "My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic" since it presents you as a less rounded person. Instead, focus on something else other than academics that NYU offers which aren't available at Penn state. Perhaps its a special professor that you want to work with, a business club, or the network/community.
Overall, your reasons are quite clear, although I would take the following into consideration:
Firstly, you do mention that after spending a semester at Penn State, you knew Economics was the right field for you. Your main reason for transfer seems to be mainly because of the need for better education as you label it as an "upgrade". I would be careful as to not look down too much at your current school, as it can imply negative image for the tone. I would look into more of an appreciative tone such as "while penn state offered great leadway into my intial studies in Economics, I believe that..." Replace the "upgrade" with "resources" and mention how NYU's specific resources can benefit you.
I would also avoid starting your third paragraph with "My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic" since it presents you as a less rounded person. Instead, focus on something else other than academics that NYU offers which aren't available at Penn state. Perhaps its a special professor that you want to work with, a business club, or the network/community.