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Posts by irhame
Name: irham amir
Joined: Apr 7, 2015
Last Post: Jun 15, 2016
Threads: 52
Posts: 50  
Likes: 25
From: Indonesia
School: unand

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irhame   
Nov 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / The number both sexes joining the evening courses and the proportion of ages following these courses [NEW]

A breakdown of the number of both sexes attending several evening courses in adult education center in 2009 and the proportion of participants' ages in these courses, these are illustrated in the bar and line chart. Overall, while women's figure for the language course witnessed the highest number of others courses, the participants aged 50 and above dominated in this chart.

To begin, although the number of men in Sculpture course was 10 people, the language course experienced the twofold number for men. However, while the women in the Sculpture course revealed the lowest number of participants at about 5 females, they were the highest number in the Language course at 40 participants. Furthermore, while men's number in Drama course has the same figure as the Sculpture course, the women of this course have shown a double portion of men's number. Then, with gap 5 people, the number of males was lower than women at 25 and 30 people repetitively.

On the other hand, while people aged 50 or over tended to take the courses, the participants aged under 20 were more less likely to contribute in this courses. The following this, at 26%, the 40-49 age group was the second highest figure for courses' members. Then, people aged 20-29 and 30-39 witnessed a slight gap only 5 percent at 11% and 16% repetitively.




irhame   
Nov 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / People today are more likely to be selfish - their wish is just to fulfill their daily needs [NEW]

People in the past used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays they lead a more dependent life. Do you agree or disagree?

People are more likely to fulfill their daily needs. As such, while some believe that they were more dependent to others in bygone era due to limited facilities, I would argue that humans today witness a selfish lifestyle thanks to completed infrastructures and advanced technologies.

The countable equipments force people to look for others helps. This is because, if having not assistances from their friends, they do not have enough power for reaching their planned goals. For instance, A 2013 recent New York Times reveals that 80% inhabitants in United State argue that they cannot life without others contributions owing to limited capability. As a result, people's life extremely depends on one another. Therefore, few tools take a huge responsibility of a dependent life.

Apart from this, there are some reasons why people are being more selfish today. Firstly, there are a wide range of facilities yet. While human is provided by a lot of good infrastructures, they can fulfill their needs by themselves. Secondly, the sophisticated devices have created the better life's productivity. If such devices have caused people's life being more productive, inevitably people tend to use it rather than asking people's helps.

To conclude, even though mankind is prefer to ask others' assessments for survival in the preceding years due to limited tools, I totally believe that completed facilities and highly sophisticated technologies are the main factors why people are more likely to be selfish. Where possible, human should balance their dependent life between using facilities and asking other people's helps.
irhame   
Nov 2, 2015
Undergraduate / When we die... - NYU Tisch Supplemental Essay [2]

Life is peculiar. As such, we makecreatesome disasters but it gain blessings from them. For once in my life, I am certain I made the right decision. I see Dylan now, he is happy... lively. He has a girlfriend, and from what I see they are inseparable from each other. I really have toshould thank to him, after all the struggle I put him through. I wouldn't havemeet the love of my life without his help. I have discovered who I am and what my purpose is in this world.
irhame   
Oct 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Dissimilarity between developed and less developed countries [2]

the inequality between rich and poor nations is wider than it has been before.
what do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

answer:

In this day and age, the developed countries are experiencing the greater development than less developed countries. As such, the significant difference is inevitable between them and it will lead to be a threat for global community. This essay will discuss that politic monopoly is the key reason why this worrying trend happened, and autonomy and multilateral cooperation are the solutions for decreasing the impacts of this problem.

The predominant factor why inequality is occurred among countries nowadays is monopoly tactic from welfare states. They intervene government's policies of conflict nations when they need some helps for stabilizing region. For instance, a September 2015 BBC News reveals that 70% super power nations always intervene some rules of unstable states aimed grasping their raw material resources. As a result, poor country was loosed their wealth. Not only thanks to intervention, but also vote right. Even though most of United Nations members agreed about particular decisions, that result will be canceled by using veto right. Therefore, the wealth nations can improve their wealthy from poor nations.

Apart from this, there are some ways to tackle this worrying condition or at least reduce the effects. Initially, poor states need a independence from the intervention of other nations. They can organize their folks and original material resources independently. Eventually, modern countries should help the traditional nations in many aspects such as finance, educations and health because limited technology, information and medicine are the factor of poverty which impede country's development.

To conclude, politic monopoly from strong country affected the dissimilarity level to weak states. Go hand in hand between both nations levels and right of independent government systems are the solution for reducing this gap from deteriorating further.
irhame   
Oct 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / "Culture an Inescapable Thing" - synthesis essay [2]

One way or other culturalcultures will somehow influence a( a what?) , throughout their life, it might cloud their judgment.

A person stayssay true to the ideas and values that isare their culture as with Maggie, who unlike Dee didn't try to create a false heritage.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / About photo booths: they allow to produce two kinds of picture, large format image and passport size [3]

The diagram illustrates the process of using modern photo box. Overall, this machine allows costumer to produce two kinds of picture, large format image and passport-sized image. In any case, there are 8 main features that consisted of this photo booth.

Initially, costumers go into the photo booth with opening the curtain and closing it when he/she was inside the room. Before have a seat on controlled stool, he can use a mirror located above eye level for ensuring his appearance. After that, while he sits on that chair, adjustable stool and eye level should be settled to the right position. Then, wait for 3 seconds the light as a single flash will appear automatically. This mechanical photo box provides two buttons on the outside of the booth allowing user to select the photo's size, one large format and 4 photos sized passport with full colours. Eventually, the photos will be loaded for 1 minute before they are delivered outside.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should we foster the sense of sacrifice to younger generation as a portion of people have suggested? [5]

It is an unstoppable trend that people are more enjoyable doing non-benefit community services . There are many celebrities you can think of, Bill Gates(is he celebrity?) , Lebron James, Jackie Chan and so on. Not only will they donate money, but also take part in many helping others activities. I believed that some of them are the hero of high school students. At this age, they are likely to learn from their model. In my opinion, I am greatly convinced that non-benefit service must be added as one of their programmes.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / The common access to the new technology may favour the young people and give them more opportunities [4]

In addition, the country are paying more attention to the old people than any timesothers . Increasingly Well- equipped nursing houses built to meetmet the old specific needs. There may have a laundry, kitchen and bathroom on every floor. A well-arranged schedule is also welcomed among the oldelderly people for the staff preparing various activities like watching a movie or morning exercise. The old ones who used to live alone can easily makedevelop a relationshipfriends . They also have a social profit such as discounts on public transportation.
irhame   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Printed media will never disappear; some factors why people fear about existence of written papers [3]

With recent developments in technology like e-books, some people feel that printed media like books, newspapers, and magazines will soon be a thing of the past. Others feel that these forms of media will never disappear.

what is your opinion?


Answer:

In 21st Century, huge companies compete each other producing sophisticated electronic books. As such, many believe that printed media such as books, newspaper, and magazines will extinct. In contrast, others argue that these news resources still exist forever. In my personal opinion, human beings still use printed books for their future.

There are some factors why people fear about existence of written papers. Initially, they need more places. More books we buy, more places we use. Furthermore, cumulative books will be a problem for readers when they want to bring them, because human just has limited power for carrying them. Eventually, it can be seen that newspaper, books, and magazines are so pricey. Not all people have ability to buy all books which they need due to money.

However, the existence of printed books cannot be forgotten as nature provides a lot of raw materials of papers for hundreds years later. The research of Ohio University in 2003, for example, reveals that our forests save paper's materials until the next 20 generations. As a result, the supply of papers is still stable although people use it every day. Therefore, paper's materials guarantee the human using of printed media.

To conclude, even though the number of e-book tools rise sharply, readers are still offered by paper's media. i totally believe that mass-printed media is still being the main consumption for decades later.
irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / Task 1 IELTS - Level of satisfying in the shops and restaurants [2]

Furthermore, in the restaurants, the great deal of shoppers is satisfied. This is proved with the rate of male at 55% and female in 32% . This is evidence that has a similar pattern between shops and restaurants. Whereas, the proportion of shoppers who are very satisfied almost same approximately in 25 peoplepercent .
irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / The satisfactionlevel of costumers according to a new shopping complex in the capital of New Zealand [2]

The two tables, for shops and restaurants, and pie chart illustrate the level of satisfaction of costumers according to a new shopping complex in the capital of New Zealand. Overall, it can be seen that the views of visitors are positive about that complex. In any case, while satisfaction of people dominates in these frames, they prefer restaurants than others.

17% men are very enjoying buying daily basis in shops, and almost a half of them like spending money over there, then 20% and 18% those visitors do not like the facilities and reluctant to give comment. In contrast, over a third females proud of this new shops compared to under a third of them appear dissatisfied and keep silent.

In restaurant, there is a quarter fatherhood that they are really keen on eating in particular restaurants, and 55%, representing the highest proportion, are considerable happy being consumers, than with a gap of about a ten, between 5% and 15%, give negative responses. However, females are higher in all category except satisfied at 32%.

Last chart, while 62% of visitors like the design of recent shopping complex, under a fifth of them love it, and 11 of clients are not satisfied with it, then decrease 1% is the percentage of people who refuse to give feedback.




irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / Can terrorism be Justified? [3]

As millions tuned in toon the TV to watch the 2008 Mumbai attacks, they had one question in their mind; why? In the name of god, slaughter and violence isare commenced. When the death tolls inside the Taj Hotel, it continued to riserising , it cannot be safe to assume it as being justifiable. Extremely radical ideology guided the terrorists to continue with their ploy, causing unnecessary pain and suffering to the people affectedbodies . As human beings, we all are guaranteed the Right to Live with Dignity. When pain is inflicted upon a human being, can it be justifiable to say that they deserved the pain, even if they have done nothing incorrect to provoke it? (you have problems with way to arrange sentences)
irhame   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / The growth of air transportation brings some positive aspects as well as the demerits of this trend [2]

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years.
What do you think the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights?
Do you think flights should be taxed more?


Answer:

In this day and age, air transportation is increase dramatically. As such, most people tend to use public flights for travelling abroad for a wide range of purposes, such as holiday, business and trade. In my opinion, the flight companies should be imposed more tax in order to prevent air accident.

There are some positive aspects the number of flight's journey rose sharply. Initially, tourists can discover various cultures and mouth-watering local cuisines abroad. Every country has own foods with special ingredients which cannot be found in other states. Furthermore, mass aircraft offers businessmen more opportunities to take a rule in global business without wasting much time. The time, nowadays, is not a hindrance anymore for international companies developing their quality and quantity. Eventually, entrepreneurs are persuaded to join in commercial transactions in worldwide. International flight is a big aid for them to acquire a chance for increasing commercial levels in vast distances.

Apart from this, the growth of air transportation caused global warming as gas emission which spread out by planes damaged ozone layers. For example, a New York Times in 2012 reveals that every gas from planes disturbed 0.01% ozone layers. As a result, many skin's diseases appeared in this era. Therefore, the flights play a significant rule for human health.

To sum up, a huge growth in air transportation can be beneficial for getting more experience, improving business's scope and boosting intercontinental trade. However, this trend also affects some illness for human's life. In my opinion, it is extremely recommended for government to make an intervention in tax policies, government has to increase tax's flight for ensuring passenger's safety.
irhame   
Oct 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / The rain water is sending for purification to a treatment plant, then goes to houses for drinking [3]

the diagram below shows how rainwater is reused

Answer:

The diagram illustrates the ways rain water is recycled. Overall, it can be seen that the greatest proportion of rainwater is used for several times as a result of water recycling. In any case, while water is collected in dam and tank, all water flow through river to mountain at the end of this process.

Initially, the amount of rain water stored in dam is sent to water treatment plant for purification. Then, it is brought to house for drinking. At the same time, the water which fall down from cloud to proof automatically flow to rainwater's tank, and it is used for other purposes such as washing plates and pouring water to plants. Following this, the wastewater is recycled again in wastewater treatment plant for resulting clear water which is reused for house's consumption. Eventually, puddle's water on the yard and dirty water drain to mountain through river.




irhame   
Oct 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / The mass media affected people's society bigger than another - even more than politicians [5]

The recent research has shown that media like the Internet and TV have a grater influence over people's lives than politicians.
Which do you consider to be the greater influence?


In this day and age, the observation reveals that mass media such as TV and the Internet play a big role for almost all people's way to live than politicians. I totally believe that media affected people's society bigger than another.

There are some reasons why people's lives have been extremely influenced by public media. Initially, they usually used to watch and read media just to entertain themselves. This purpose is available for all positions in a wide range of status. Furthermore, electrical news resources has a lot of up-to-date knowledge. As such, it persuade every person access the Internet and TV. Eventually, teenagers tend to imitate what they look on TV or the Internet. If they duplicate some negative attitudes from these media, it will disturb themselves and their environment.

On the other hand, many politicians are only interested by particular information such politic topics, which provide more beneficial for them. For example, the research of Oxford University in 2000 witnesses that 85% politicians in America more likely consume economic and politic issues from electronic news and television programmes. As a result, the information included in media increases their insights and skills in career. Therefore, mass media has a significant impact for politician improvements.

To sum up, it is evident that even though public information sources, representing TV and the internet, can influence politicians only in some aspects, I deeply agree that people in the different age of groups have big effect that they receive as long as using public media.
irhame   
Oct 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / The diagram illustrates the manufacturing processes for producing good black tea [2]

The diagram illustrates the manufacturing processes for producing good black tea. Overall, there are five steps for creating black tea. In any case, even though there are two different ways -traditional and modern methods, they have similar steps in initial and eventual process.

First of all, when collecting tea, the tea farmer picks only bud and 2 top leaves for resulting good quality of tea. Then, the tea continues to withering where leaves are spread out on the rack and air is passed through whole those leaves which can remove about 60% moisture. Following this, the leaves are ready for rolling and cutting, factories use traditional method by rolling flat and broken them which release a wide range of enzymes from leaves, and modern way by cutting leaves, tearing and curling them which created granular pieces. The next step is oxidation, where enzymes are mixed by water can change leave's colour to cooper. Finally, these leaves are fried or dried in hot air dryers where release nice smell, and the leaves only consist of 3% moisture.




irhame   
Oct 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay: how access to information via the internet influences life [6]

In summary, I believe that easy access to information provided by the internet influences our live in a positive way. It helps people to educate themselves and encourages them to think critically. (i suggest you adding some sentences, like where possible...(your expectation))
irhame   
Oct 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / The school systems cause children have little leisure time and study in under pressure [2]

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this.
What solutions can you suggest?


Answer:

In this day and age, there are more challenges and assignments that youngsters in some nations have to deal with in school. As such, it is no doubt they only have few valuable free time and study in depression condition. This essay will examine the reasons why these problems are occurring and discuss some possible solutions.

The predominant factor resulting in this topic is poor education systems, because a wide range of countries more likely to have an extremely heavy learning methods. For example, the research of Cambridge University recently reveals that 95% students in developing countries have spent almost 9 hours at school every day, and after coming back to their own home, there are a lot of home works which are supposed to be handed for next day. Not only that, but also wrong understanding. Some people may think that purpose of education is for getting high score. Young people study hard only due to good marks without considering other aspects. Therefore, less-developed education systems play a big rule in student improvement.

Nevertheless, there are potential ways to solve these problems, or at least reduce these effects. Initially, school should integrate outdoor activities. If people also enjoy social activities though in school schedule, it will give new experiences for children themselves. Eventually, government has to provide some seminars about the modern education system for improving school ways to improve children skills.

To sum up, it is obvious that although school's time is very crowded and children are forced to study hard caused by poor teaching systems. There are steps that school and government can take to diminish its effects. Where possible, all people who have responsibility for student education must hand in hand to tackle these problems from deteriorating further.
irhame   
Oct 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / The appropriate punishment of children to teach right and wrong [6]

In addition, teachers are alsoabsolutelyas an educator in class where some of students have done blunder such as they perform lateness afor class attending. In my opinion, a teacher should informexposurea student with a little warning or punishment like they cannot join the class. This way would help students to be discipline. As a result, children are able on time schedule fast. (Therefore....)

In conclusion, (where is your restatements?) punishment which is given by parents and teachers to educate children has assisted well to be independent, discipline person and knowing what the true and false are.
irhame   
Oct 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / research of ITT qualifications in 2-year period [4]

The chart illustrates the number of student living in the Great Britain obtaining teacher training qualifications in 2 periods between 2005/6 and 2006/7, and the percentage of men qualifications. Overall, there are changes showing in this time frame. In any case, while the number of Total teaching qualifications obtained have dominated in whole figures, the gradual increase has revealed by Bed & other degrees.

To begin, the number of females in first category increased dramatically from 23,865 to 24,335, representing the highest proportion in every period. In contrast, the number of males decreased steadily between 8,065 and 7,610.

Finally, 71.4% women qualifiers in 2005/6 for PGCE rose slowly to 72.9% in next year. However, over a quarter men qualifiers fell gradually to 27.1 percent. For the last category, even though its total and girls number jumped sharply with the gap about 500 females, boys and their percentages remained stable in around 1,000 males and fourteen percent, presenting the lowest portion in this research.




irhame   
Oct 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / A lot of folks argue that the level of violence action between teenagers have increased [3]

To conclude, although criminal actions of people under 18 age group isare less attention about social and emotion learning from their school and family. I believe that environment where they live plays an essential part to control how they behave every day. Where possible ,Government should pay attention for these matters, especially for youngsters for the next generation.
irhame   
Oct 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / The deficiency of social value leads to the global loss of cultural identity [2]

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?


Answer:

In this decade, public communications and transports are growing dramatically. As such, this condition inevitably leads to globalization. Many fear that globalization will affect human-cultural identity to be permanent lost. I partly agree with this statement.

The main reason why these two services lead to diminish valuable-cultural identity is less social value, because a wide range of mass communications and transports have fulfilled their social needs without need to ask others any more. A research from Cambridge University reveals that 80% consumers of public services have less skill to make a good culture. As a result, they do not need help from other people. Therefore, global communication and transportation play a big role change characteristic of civilizations.

Those kinds of civic services, however, do not merely loosing human traditions, but also improve quality of human way of life. People can be easier doing their daily activities such as easy to keep in touch and also easy to move from a place to another place faster.

To sum up, even though today sharp increase has shown by these two mass services, they give positive impacts as well for communities. It will happen if people in society can suit their traditional culture with public sophisticated technology services. Where possible, government should make some crucial regulations according to this worrying problem from deteriorating further.
irhame   
Sep 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Market share of the well-known mobile phone brands between 2005 and 2006 [3]

Overall, it can be seen that Nokia brand had leading in a two year period. In any case, the users of BenQ mobile got the worsen percentages in 2006.

you overall is good, but it is better if you write language of changes in first sentence and comparison in the second sentence
irhame   
Sep 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Worldwide Mobile Phone Sales ( % share of market) [2]

In 2005, the biggest proportion of hand-phone market was Nokia, representing at 32.5%.A lthough it was popular, byin 2006, it reached a peak at 35 percent . As the same way, Motorola companies rose slightly in the number of market sales from 17.7 to 21.1.

Sony Ericsson and LG were presenting in the same statistic around 7.4% for Sony and 6.3 for L.G
irhame   
Sep 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Global Mobile Phone Sales in a 2-year period [2]

The chart illustrates the global market share of mobile phone sales in a 2-year period for manufactures, which is measured by percentage. Overall, it can be seen that there is no significant changes for every item in two years. In any case, even though Nokia phone was still in the top rank in this time frame, BenQ Mobile remained stagnant in the deepest position.

To begin, there was slight increase in Motorola's market share from 17.7% to 21.1. in contrast, Samsung's market decreased gradually between 12.7 percent to 11.8 percent. Furthermore, the similar case also showed by Sony Ericsson and L.G. in 2005, Sonny's products rose with the gap 1.1% to 7.4%. on the other hand, at 6.7%, L.G productions fell to just 6.3%.

Slow decrease was showed by Nokia's percentage from 32.5% to over a third, representing the highest proportion between 2005 and 2006. However, while BenQ's items are only sold 4.9% in 2015, it was being the non-favorite product in 2006 at 2.4%. Unfortunately, other companies in mobile phone sales only had 19.2% market share in first year, and then fell down to 16.2 percent in the following year.




irhame   
Sep 30, 2015
Writing Feedback / Basic factor of the violent crime increase among teens is less learning from parents and teachers [3]

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Answer:

In this day and age, the huge violent crime has shown by youngsters in teenagers. A wide range of psychologist reveals that the basic factor for this is less social and emotional learning from parents and teachers. I totally agree for these basic keys.

The main reason for this condition is less awareness about how important social and emotional learning for children life. These learnings give children good foundation to interact with peers, because only social and emotional subjects could control the way they life. For example, a 2000 New York Times says that 89% children who got good learning in social and emotional from their parents and teachers tend to loyal for all roles in their environment. As a result, crime rate among children decreases dramatically. Therefore, social and emotional studying play a big rule in children's society.

On the other hand, there are other basic reasons why crime rate increases among children. First of all, parents and teachers do not know the best method teaching their children. As such, children will feel uncomfortable and under pressure. Afterwards, those kids should not learn from parents and teachers only, they also can get more benefits from nature. Nature gives big experience for social and emotional value.

To conclude, there are no social and emotional learning from parents and teachers to children is a fundamental factor why crime rate among children rises steadily. Where possible, these figures (parents and teachers) can go hand in hand to tackle this worrying trend from deteriorating further.
irhame   
Sep 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / Observation of rail transport in 4 developed countries in 2007 [2]

The chart shows the information of people using rail transport, their destinations, and their cargo in 2007 in 4 developed countries. Overall, it can be seen that there are different figures in every category for these nations. In any case, while USA brought a lot of cargo, Japan still dominated in this time frame.

In 2007, Italy passengers using rail transport were 5.5, but it is slight difference have shown by UK residents at 5.9. Even though Britain was higher than Italian, with the gap 10 km Italian was more tended to use rail transport at 780. After that, UK folks more likely to bring more goods then Italy people by 22.2 billion tons.

Afterwards, rail transport was not the most favorite transportation for American, representing 0.3 which was the lowest number of passengers. However, even though little passengers, this developed state carried lots of staff at 2,820 billion tons which were the highest number of cargo.

On the other hand, while Japanese used rail transport more often than others and further destination, representing 27 people and 1,980 km. At 23.01 billions of tons, this showed that Japan inhabitants tend to bring less many kinds of goods.




irhame   
Sep 28, 2015
Writing Feedback / We won't go far away from media influence - advantage and disadvantage living in full-media society [2]

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

answer:

Media plays a big rule in human society nowadays. As such, it is hard to go far away from media influences. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks living in full-media society.

The main advantage of life in good-media access is fast and easy to find information. People do not need to go anywhere and waste a lot of time for getting the information. A 2012 New York Times reveals that 98% folks of developed countries tend to acquire information from TV, radio, magazine, newspaper and social media. As a result, their knowledge improved dramatically. Therefore, media has potential benefits for improving insights.

On the other hand, media has bad impacts as well. Firstly, readers could not believe what they read totally as there is no guarantee about the truth and false of that information. Afterwards, it will cause less social value among people. They spend most of leisure time reading without try to discuss with others.

To conclude, even though living in society which provides many kinds of information resources makes inhabitants get more insights efficiently. This situation will reduce their time for keep in touch each other. While possible, readers should make them balance until they can optimize living in media-rich society. And also government should take a part to restrict information spread among media consumers.
irhame   
May 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / Students in developed countries spend their leisure time for working or travelling [2]

Question: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting universities studies.
Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.


Answer:
Before entering university, pupils in some states usually spend their leisure time for working in part-time job or travelling to several different resorts. Because of this, it would make them close to job's environment, and give new them the new spectacular experiences. However, it would be virus which encourages them to focus in job and travelling as priority.

There are some benefits that can be acquired from this case. First of all, it give student the reflecting of their future's job as they have tried working in a company which suitable with their hobbies eventough in short time.

...
irhame   
May 3, 2015
Writing Feedback / Some people suggest the non-essential use of aircraft like international travel should discourage [3]

Traveling offers an opportunity broaden people horizons and recognize about different countries and also cultures. If people are traveling to foreign countries without aircraft or using other transports , it would be caused many inconveniences . However, aircraft can be produced more pollution than other transportations and some people suggest tourists are not essentially using aircraft and should be discouraged. In this essay, I would like to discuss the influence of taking aircraft in various demands.

In my personal opinion, tourists are imperatived to take aircraftplane when they are going to foreign countries, because it wastes considerable amount of time to use other transports and it may take much more expenditure on their journey, however, I believe that there are chemical substances in fuel for waste gas treatment.
irhame   
Apr 29, 2015
Writing Feedback / Is talent gotten since a person was born? [2]

It is generally believe that some people are born with certain talents, for instance in sport or music. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Leadership is a talent gotten since a person was born. As such, some people believe that aptitude comes from parent's genes such as playing football or piano. however, not only that, others argue that intensive learning could produce a good talenter in many subjects like in sport and music. Nevertheless, i strongly believe that the best exersice cause pupils acquiring good development in their skills.

Genetic which is planted in body consists the personality as it scientifically could bring attitude from upside to downside in a line's generation. For instance, miley ray cyrus is a good singer in this era, her talent is gotten from his father, billy ray cyrus, who are the country singer in his era. As a result, she can easily achieve success with her incredible aptitude. Therefore, a talent flow from parents to their children.

On the other hand, many a person claims that aptitude will come true with study hard because talent is a potential idea that could be actualised with action such learning. for example, at the age of 14, Manny Pacquiao started learning boxing, then he is the best boxer in this decade. As a result with hard exercises, Pacquiao is often being a winner in some international-boxing exhibitions. Therefore, talent appears with study.

In my opinion, although talent is flowed from parents to their children, it could not be maximalize without study's focus. So, study hard is only solution to develop talent.

To sum up, one side, people belive that a talent is comes from genetic. Others argue that aptitude is gotten from exercise. I strongly belive that study hard could develop a potential talent to maximum capability because talent without action is nothing.
irhame   
Apr 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Discussion about people who are doing same things [4]

Question: some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Answer: Changing is always happened in people's life. As such, some people believe that doing different actions is spectacular as they could acquire new experience. However, others argue that doing the same things for long time is better as it would decrease unexpected risks in their activity. Therefore, I personally believe that several different experiences have more experiences have more positive impacts.

There are many reasons why unusual actions are good. First of all, several new experiences improve people's ability as they find unique events which are not acquired in their daily activities such as when tourists from England travelling to Thailand, they try to cook mouth-watering local cuisines like Tomyam. In addition, some people would be more brave as new action develop their adrenalines such climb mountain, diving and soon.

Less risk could be pressed by doing particular job in a long time as people know deeply what they doing are. Take an example, whilst bus driver who drive bus everyday through ascent's street, he will reduce speed because he know it will avoid collision. As a result, some people tend to do same thing in their daily activity.

In conclusion, there are pros and cons about doing the same and different things. In my opinion, although doing same things will make people saver, I strongly believe that new experiment improve human knowledge and increase their brave. It is imperative that many a person would not be able to approach their best development without searching new information and trying new experiences.
irhame   
Apr 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Number of private cars increased and its effects [6]

Although various public transportations available, people many a person usually prefer using private cars because it is simpler and more convenient.

I think it's better to reduce their subsidy and use it to other critical sectors like to equalize the development and educational level of each province.

We should think that use public transportation or an other less pollution transportation like bicycle, as an opportunity to live healthier and to make this earth less pollution.
irhame   
Apr 20, 2015
Scholarship / Supporting statement for AusAID Scholarship [4]

They offer firsthand experience during field trips, academics come from all around the globe and their different learning styles create a rich people wealthy , yet enjoyable learning environment. Ranked amongst the top 50 (50 what?) in the Oceania region, they strive towards improving services and encouraging students to achievinge high academic results.

In having to choose between the University of the South Pacific and Fiji National University, I chose, University of the South Pacific, as it is a reputable university amongst the pacific island countries.

My first year at the university has broadened my knowledge and understanding of both lands use planning and information system. I now have a basic- sound knowledge in land tenures and its principles and geomatic and the beginning stages of information systems in programming (this sentence there is no verb) , designing and coding of programs.

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