Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by silverystars
Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Last Post: May 30, 2011
Threads: 14
Posts: 105  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 119 / page 1 of 3
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
silverystars   
Aug 24, 2007
Writing Feedback / In Response To "Too Much Pressure" [3]

Assignment: write a response to this question, related to Colleen Wenke's essay "Too Much Pressure," about the rise of cheating in schools: "Do you agree with Wenke that most students think cheating is acceptable?," in 300 to 400 words. This response is 342 words.

In Response To "Too Much Pressure"


In her essay "Too Much Pressure," Colleen Wenke argues that students today are driven to achieve goals such as "the best grades," "the best schools," and, ultimately, "the highest-paying jobs" by cheating to a greater degree than students of the past generation. While I agree with Wenke that cheating is due to an increase in less altruistic goals among students today, I find that the wording of her explanation at one point lacks clarity of meaning.

Wenke asserts that cheating is related to present-day students being more "goal-oriented" and willing to "compromise (their) values to achieve their goals". I find it difficult to believe that past generation students were any less focused on achieving goals. What has changed are the values that shape how students today achieve those goals.

Wenke erroneously uses the term "values" interchangeably with "ethics". In contrast to ethics being based on proper conduct, a person's values, which develop from their experience and are demonstrated by their actions, are not inherently based on good ethics. To say that students who cheat are not living up to their values wrongly implies that a value system must adhere to a culturally acceptable moral standard.

For example, if a student copies homework and uses test answers written down the side of a pencil in their pursuit of good grades, can the assumption be made that, because the student cheated, his or her values were compromised? Not necessarily, as that assumption can only be determined with regard to the values of the student.

I am in accord with Wenke's belief that students today are in dire need of the value systems that effectively discourage cheating. The institutions that once conveyed proper values to students such as "family, school, church, media and government" now have a vastly diminished positive influence. Only if there is a more widespread societal instillation of ethics, as was the case for students of the past generation, will there be more students today who view cheating as going against better judgment according to their values.
silverystars   
Aug 30, 2007
Writing Feedback / In Response To "Why Don't We Complain?" [4]

It was a clear, beautiful Sunday afternoon outside the Ruby Tuesday restaurant. Inside was another story. The eatery's environment was hectic, with our waiter constantly rushing by, unwittingly ignoring my need for a refill of my lemon water and my friend's desire for more Dr. Pepper. Still, while awaiting the arrival of our food, we were able to comfortably share a conversation in spite of the feverish pace of the staff.

"I'm telling you, you're going to love this Alpine Swiss Burger," my friend said with epicurean fervor. "It's the best!" Before I could murmur a response, our waiter appeared with an air of imposition and a tray that carried what looked like my order. He asked, "Alpine Swiss?" I gingerly raised my hand and instantly beheld a steaming burger that beckoned me to take a bite. So I gladly obliged.

But I noticed something odd. I meekly displayed my burger to my friend, asking, "Does this look like medium-rare to you?" Without hesitance my friend declared, "Not only is that well done, that's not even a hamburger," emphasized by his finger pointing squarely at the sandwich. "That's turkey burger!"

I looked at what I once thought was my hamburger with a deflated spirit. I soon found that the dish I was given rightfully belonged to a woman seated nearby. Because her order would be that much further delayed due to the waiter's error, my friend and I agreed that one of us needed to speak up. I did so with surprising ease.

I caught the attention of our waiter and politely complained to him about the mix-up. Within minutes, the woman beheld her steaming turkey burger, just the way she wanted it. She looked at us and smiled as I received my Alpine Swiss Burger, just the way I wanted it: medium-rare, sans turkey burger.

If I had felt alone in voicing my displeasure, I would have had little confidence that what I was annoyed by was really worth complaining about. But knowing that my grievance was shared and supported by my friend, and discovering that the woman could have been forced to wait unnecessarily, helped me to speak up. Knowing that I was not alone in my annoyance encouraged me to complain, not just for my sake, but also for the sake of someone else.
silverystars   
Aug 31, 2007
Writing Feedback / In Response To "Why Don't We Complain?" [4]

Hello, Sarah:

Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I am posting a revised version based on your suggestion. Hopefully it will be clearer now how the turkey burger, emphasis on burger, could be mistaken for a hamburger.
silverystars   
Sep 3, 2007
Book Reports / A Soft Complaint (A Formal Argumentative/Persuasive Essay, Incomplete) [2]

It is now a rough draft, with 680 words:

Write a paper in which you analyze and evaluate any one of Buckley's ideas (in his essay, "Why Don't We Complain?".) Support your view with evidence from your experience, observation, or reading. Be sure your essay is argumentative/persuasive and that you state your persuasion in the thesis statement. Your essay must be at least 500 words.

This is what I have. I am just wondering if it is lacking in focus. I want to describe the event as fully as possible, and keep it within the confines of the assignment, as well, so it's a bittersweet balance to strike, as the event itself is worthy of being fully detailed.

I also want to know the best way to cite, in line with MLA, the source of the quotes from the testimony. It was from a DVD I own, titled "Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor," but should that title be constantly cited throughout the essay? However distracting it might ultimately seem, it might be the only way to go, considering that the quotations are an accurate way record my observation of this event. I don't want to plagiarize, yet I don't think I can represent the event better than by including instances of actual words spoken. As always, your help is much appreciated:


A Soft Complaint

In his essay "Why Don't We Complain?," William F. Buckley, Jr. touches briefly on his inability to complain in a calm fashion. Buckley writes that, when provoked, he becomes "unbearably and unconscionably sarcastic and bellicose" (Buckley 540). Buckley then rhetorically asks, "Why should that be?" (Buckley 540). That question is left to linger unresolved and the reader is, unfortunately, rendered as perplexed as Buckley. The idea of venting discontent softly should be easily seen as superior to more explosive expressions of fault-finding. In other words, the answer to Buckley's question is simple: it doesn't have to be.

One striking example of a soft complaint was efficaciously manifested on May 1, 1969 in Washington, D.C. by the embodied antithesis of sarcastic and bellicose tendencies: Fred Rogers. An ordained Presbyterian minister from Pennsylvania, Rogers was the creator and host of the public television children's program "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." He appeared before the United States Senate Subcommittee on Communications to express his dissatisfaction with the proposal by President Richard Nixon to cut federal funding for public broadcasting from twenty million dollars to ten million dollars. Rogers was brusquely given the floor by Senator John O. Pastore, the chairman of the Subcommittee, in a manner that would have made meeker men not so willing to speak up.

In a soft and deliberate style, Fred Rogers addressed Senator Pastore by outlining his submitted essay, stating that "one of the first things . . . a child learns in a healthy family is trust, and I trust . . . that you will read this. It's very important to me." Soon he was cut off mid-sentence, when Senator Pastore provocatively blurted, "Will it make you happy if you read it?," to the sound of nervous laughter from the gallery. Rogers could have followed Buckley's example by allowing himself to become belligerent. Instead, he amiably replied, "I'd just like to talk about it, if it's all right," to which the Senator crustily deferred.

Rogers continued on to detail the emotional impact that television held on children and how the medium could be used to communicate an edifying influence to them. He asserted that his program's entire budget of $6000 was equal to the cost of "less than two minutes of cartoons," referred to by Rogers as "animated . . . bombardment." At one point, Rogers even spoke the lyrics of "What Do You Do With The Mad That You Feel?," a song Rogers wrote to illustrate self-control, with lines such as, ". . . It's great to be able to stop/when you've planned the thing that's wrong/and be able to do something else instead /and think this song . . ."

Over the course of Rogers' ardent yet peaceful complaint, Senator Pastore displayed a gradual reversal of his initially gruff character. Pastore's agreeance with Rogers' concerns grew as he inquired and expressed interest in viewing "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," as he was not familiar with it. Pastore even made it known that, though he was "supposed to be a pretty tough guy," Rogers' fervant plea had given him "goosebumps." As Rogers was reciting "What Do You Do With The Mad That You Feel?," Senator Pastore cut him off once again, though this time in a favorable manner. Pastore effusively stated, "I think it's wonderful. I think it's wonderful," and, after a slight pause, he made his conclusion to Rogers clear: "Looks like you just earned the twenty million dollars."

Fred Rogers' ability not only to voice a soft complaint in a situation that would have caused a less-restrained individual's blood to boil but to do with an effective influence is testament to the power of equanimity in matters of expressing displeasure. It serves to make William F. Buckley, Jr.'s inclination toward pugnacious outcry appear pitiful and deserving of shame in light of the temperate behavior exhibited before Senator Pastore on Capitol Hill on that first day of May in 1969. One can only wonder if, had he known of Fred Rogers, or simply the words of Rogers' song "What Do You Do With The Mad That You Feel?," Buckley would have significantly altered the tone of his essay.

Works Cited:

Buckley, Jr., William F. "Why Don't We Complain?." The Bedford Reader. Edited. X. J. Kennedy, Dorothy M. Kennedy, and Jane E. Aaron. Ninth Edition. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2005. 539-543.

Fred Rogers: America's Favorite Neighbor. Perf. Fred Rogers, Michael Keaton. DVD. : Triumph Marketing, LLC, 2004.
silverystars   
Sep 19, 2007
Writing Feedback / Defining Classic (Extended Definition Essay) [4]

I would like to preface this with an acknowledgment of thanks for all of the help I have received from this forum as I read through other's essays and suggestions.

This is a tricky paper for me. I won't inject any of my own misgivings about this essay, but I know it needs improvement, even beyond grammatical, formatting, etc.

Defining a Classic

Thank you, Sarah! I always get mixed up on "its" and "it's," but, apparently, I am not the only one. As we were peer-editing papers last Tuesday, my paper came back with one of the "its" changed incorrectly to "it's". :)

I decided to further hone the paper by rearranging it a little, to give a bit more resolution at the essay's end.

The word classic can mean an artistic work, such as a film, that is widely accepted as an example of high quality. Some films, however, are considered classics on the basis of their being blockbusters: films that cost millions of dollars to produce and promote, films that beckon people to flock in droves to theaters in order to see them. Though a blockbuster may seem similar to a classic, a blockbuster is invariably successful in terms of popularity and revenue and does not require the timeless components which make a film such as "Twelve Angry Men" worthy of being esteemed as a classic.

A big budget is no guarantee that a film is going to be a classic. One example is the 1997 film "Titanic," which reigns as one of most expensively-made films of all time, costing an estimated $200 million to produce. Much of that budget went toward recreating the RMS Titanic with the use of computer-generated special effects, which makes for some remarkable eye-candy. Ultimately, though, the ship and its sinking are merely a backdrop for the improbable love story of Jack and Rose, played by Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. The characters come off as clichés every time they open their mouths. When Jack recites such tin-eared drivel as, "Rose, you're no picnic. All right? You're a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I've ever known," a stupefying insensitivity to normal human language is on full display.

The hugeness of "Titanic"'s elaborate special effects outweigh its unrealistic characters even to the point of accentuating the film's many glaring anachronisms, which arbitrarily blur the historical accuracy of the film's portrayal of the year 1912. Seeing Rose gaze upon "Nymphéas," a painting of water lilies by impressionist Claude Monet, is innocuous enough, unless the viewer realizes the year that particular work was created: 1915, three years after the sinking of the Titanic. Instances like that may seem trivial, but they add up to undermine the standing "Titanic" has as a classic, regardless of its high production value.

What makes a film a classic is its authentic portrayal of human emotion without reliance on a big budget to guarantee its standing as a classic. For example, a scene towards the end of the 1957 classic courtroom drama "Twelve Angry Men" portrays the uncontrolled disorder of Juror #3, played by Lee J. Cobb. He fiercely persists in holding a teenage boy accused of murdering his father guilty, despite the unanimous doubt of the other jurors. Upon seeing a photo of his estranged son that he had inadvertently pulled from his pocket, Cobb's character begins tearing it to pieces in a fit of rage. Realizing through his sudden anger that his judgment of the boy accused has been affected by the disconnect he has experienced with his own son, he breaks down and, amidst choking back sobs, changes his verdict to "not guilty." The scene is genuinely touching in its depiction of not only the reversal of a juror's initial decision but of a distraught father forced to confront his transference of bitterness toward the boy on trial.

"Twelve Angry Men" was based on a stage play that takes place entirely on one set. Such an environment is an odd premise for a major studio production, since plays are usually adapted to film as expansions beyond the limitations of the theater. But the limited scope of "Twelve Angry Men" emphasizes the film's tense atmosphere. Extraneous scenes outside the jury room would have undermined the impact of the jurors' deliberation. It was also filmed in black-and-white, as opposed to the more expensive color format. The use of grayscale adds greatly to the starkness of their situation. These elements force the viewer to focus on the fundamentals: how the jury's own personal convictions influence a life or death decision within the claustrophobic setting they inhabit.

Fifty years after its release, "Twelve Angry Men" is a classic film that remains a powerful and definitive examination of the jury system due to the film's believability and minimalist approach. The film's emotional core is authentic, especially in the scene in which Cobb's character's personal anguish is displayed with an immediacy that is almost hyperreal. Its relatively small production value --- 12 men in one room, all 90 minutes shot in black-and-white --- allows the plot to take center stage. Any attempt to have made the story bigger and wider in size would have dramatically impinged the film's ability to render meaning. Though it is not based on an actual court case, "Twelve Angry Men" conveys a palpable realism that resonates with audiences over time --- the kind of realism that is utterly lacking in "Titanic," a film whose very existence is intrinsic upon a historical event.
silverystars   
Sep 27, 2007
Writing Feedback / Defining Classic (Extended Definition Essay) [4]

Thank you, Sarah! I always get mixed up on "its" and "it's," but, apparently, I am not the only one. As we were peer-editing papers last Tuesday, my paper came back with one of the "its" changed incorrectly to "it's". :)

I decided to further hone the paper by rearranging it a little, to give a bit more resolution at the essay's end.
silverystars   
Sep 28, 2007
Book Reports / Book Review Project: "Wilco: Learning How To Die" [4]

Quoted from my assignment sheet:

"Book Review: 1000 words. Choose a non-fiction book on a subject that appeals to you. As you read, note ideas that are potential areas for research. The day you present your book to the class orally, you will also turn in a written copy of your report. The written review should begin with a heading which includes all the bibliographic information (5 points) about the book using the MLA manuscript style. You should then include the following: a summary (20 points) (be sure to state the title, author, and the number of pages), a section on genre (5 points,) structure (10 points,) persona (10 points,) style (10 points,) mechanics (15 points,) a brief section with biographical information about the author (15 points,) and a list of at least five questions which will lead to a research area (10 points.)"

Here is what I have thus far. I have, at this point, about 750 words. From the tone of the instructions, it appears that the summary is simply that, and not a personal evaluation, so that presents a personal challenge to me. I know that I need to especially need to expand my summary, but am uncertain at this point how to go about it without meandering, becoming redundant, or expanding issues perhaps only touched on or hinted at by the book. Also, I am confused by the differences between such items as "structure" and "style," so I have not written about the book's style. And I am also stumped on possible areas of research; I thought of two, but I need three more. I am wondering if I am not focusing enough on the book itself as much as the actual story of the band. Which is confusing, since the book IS the story of the band. :) Any and all help is, as always, much appreciated!

Bibliographic Information:Kot, Greg. Wilco: Learning How To Die. 1st. New York: Broadway Books, 2004.

Summary:According to Chicago Tribune music critic Greg Kot in his book, "Wilco: Learning How To Die," Wilco, and in particular its founder, Jeff Tweedy, have become the complete opposite of what the music industry expects from a major-label recording artist. The work of Tweedy's previous band, Uncle Tupelo, which he founded in 1987 with high school friend Jay Farrar, was simple enough: American roots music, such as bluegrass, country, and folk, filtered through a hard rock mentality and sound.

As their stature soared, Farrar's relationship with Tweedy grew tumultuous and strained, leading to the 1994 breakup of Uncle Tupelo. In the wake of that split, Tweedy immediately formed Wilco, who, at first, were easy to categorize as merely a straightforward, countrified rock-and-roll band. But Kot notes that, with each album Wilco releases, they have consistently frustrated the expectations of their fans and the industry again and again by distancing themselves from their rootsy beginnings. With those creative strides, however, come unexpected waves of change.

The book's most dramatic example of that occurs amidst the making and release of Wilco's fourth album, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot," during which time Tweedy dismissed two members of Wilco and recruited a new drummer and a new producer. Soon after, the band was unceremoniously dropped by Reprise Records, due to the label's hesitance to release the album, their most sonically and lyrically adventurous to date. Rather than waiting to release the album officially, Wilco began streaming it on their website for free, garnering attention from fans, the media, and record labels. Upon its release, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot," became their highest charting and most selling album.

Over the course of its 244 pages, Kot definitively examines how Jeff Tweedy has dealt with, for better or worse, the pressures of his escalating fame, supporting a family, and conflicts with bandmates and his record label. Overall, the book is a championing of Tweedy's and Wilco's restless search for experimental freedom in defiance of the music industry's desire for quick success and easy marketability. Their struggle for personal and artistic satisfaction by challenging not only listeners, but also themselves, makes for a compelling and thrilling music biography.

Style:The language the author uses is typical of what would be written by an eloquent journalist: a third-person narrative at once clear and succinct in meaning and pace and rich and varied in choice of descriptive words and phrases. A few sections could be described as rambling in contrast to the rest of the book, such as when Kot takes time to detail the inception of the alternative country music magazine No Depression. But on average, each chapter covers close to a year, keeping the tempo of the book fairly fast-paced and succinct.

Biographical sketch: Greg Kot was born March 3, 1957 in Syracuse, New York. He graduated with a bachelor of arts degree in journalism from Marquette University in 1978. He worked for the Quad-City Times from 1978 to 1980 as an editor, where he first began writing about pop music. He then joined the Chicago Tribune as an editor from 1980 to 1989. During that time, Kot self-published with friends the music and culture fan magazine Ego, which was available on newsstands and in bookstores in Chicago, where he honed his writing chops in the process. In 1990, he became the head music critic for the Chicago Tribune, a position he has held ever since.

His work has appeared in such music magazines as Blender, Entertainment Weekly, Mojo, New York Times Sunday Book Review, Rolling Stone. His work has also appeared in Encyclopaedia Britannica and such books as "Harrison: A Rolling Stone Tribute to George Harrison," "Cash: By the Editors of Rolling Stone," "The Trouser Press Guide to '90s Rock," and "The New Rolling Stone Album Guide." He also appears in the 2002 Wilco documentary "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart," directed by Sam Jones.

Kot also co-hosts, along with Jim DeRogatis, music critic for the Chicago Sun-Times, the music talk show "Sound Opinions," which broadcasts on radio, television and the internet. Kot also works as a youth basketball coach. He and his partners operate Over the Edge, a Chicago-based youth program that prepares grade-school athletes to compete at a high school. Kot is currently writing a new book, "Ripped: Indie-Rock and the Laptop Generation," to be published in 2008 by Scribner/Simon and Schuster. He lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and two daughters and, according to the section about the author in "Wilco: Learning How To Die," "far too many records."
silverystars   
Oct 3, 2007
Book Reports / Oral Report Based on Wilco Book Review [2]

I posted my book review project (of Greg Kot's book "Wilco: Learning How To Die") in a separate thread, but this concerns a related assignment: an oral report.

"Your oral report should include the highlights of your written report, but it should also include your evaluation of the book. if you state the the author held your attention well, you should have examples to demonstrate your opinion. You may use a graphic to help in your report. You should prepare to talk from 7 and a half to to ten and a half minutes. Although that may seem long, you will find that you must practice your presentation to stay within the time limit."

"Rubric: Content provides an appropriate introduction, organization, and conclusion. Highlights of the work are clearly given with adequate support. The student's evaluation of the book is objectively presented with appropriate support."

"Delivery: Spoke clearly, did not read from notes, uses appropriate gestures, movement, and eye contact to give a poised and professional presentation."


I must note that I am not much of a public speaker, but, since this is a subject I am interested in and generally feel at ease talking about it, I feel that will help. I have an idea of what I would like to present to the class, via the classroom's projector.

I would show the class a photos of recording artists. For example, a photo of rapper Kanye West, who I believe currently has the second-biggest selling album in the U.S., according to Billboard magazine. I would ask the class if they know who it is, and if so, was it because they have seen him on magazine covers, heard them on radio, seen them perform on MTV, etc. Another example might be a photo of Kelly Clarkson, who has, like Kanye, sold millions of albums in the U.S., and proceed to pose a similar line of questioning (who is it, and how do you know who it is?) I would try to then make the connection between the two that they are highly publicized.

The third example would be a photo of the subject of my book review, the band Wilco. I am betting that many people, including those in my class, will not be familiar with Wilco. I might point out that the band's albums sell, on average, about 250,000 copies apiece. Then I could talk about how the book explains that what makes them different is their non-radio-friendliness. Since they are not easy to define in sound, they are not as heavily marketed and promoted as Kanye and Kelly, ie. featured on magazine covers, on radio and MTV, etc.

Does this sound like a feasible approach? As always, I appreciate any and all feedback. Just so there is a point of reference, here is the current version of my written summary upon which I will be basing my oral report, adding my own evaluation, as well:

According to Chicago Tribune music critic Greg Kot in his book, Wilco: Learning How To Die, the sound of Jeff Tweedy's band Uncle Tupelo, which he founded in 1987 with high school friend Jay Farrar, was not hard to define: American roots music, such as bluegrass, country, and folk, filtered through the energy of fuzzy garage and punk rock. As their stature soared, Farrar's relationship with Tweedy within Uncle Tupelo grew tumultuous, leading to their 1994 breakup. In the wake of that split, Tweedy immediately formed Wilco, who have surprisingly become the complete opposite of what the music industry expects from major-label recording artists: a tough sell.

At first, Wilco was easy to categorize as merely a straightforward, countrified rock-and-roll band. But Kot notes that, with each album they have released, Wilco have continually frustrated the expectations of the public and the industry. From the sprawling but multifaceted double album Being There, to the densely elaborate, lyrically depressing pop of Summerteeth, Wilco has continually branched out ever farther from their rustic origins. With those creative strides, however, have come unexpected waves of change.

The book's most dramatic illustration of such changes occurs amidst the making and releasing of Wilco's fourth album, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which, at that time, was their most sonically and lyrically adventurous to date. During that time, Jeff Tweedy dismissed two members of Wilco and recruited a new drummer and producer. Soon after Yankee Hotel Foxtrot was completed, the band was unceremoniously let go by Reprise Records, due to the label's hesitance to release an album so difficult to market, so non-radio-friendly. Rather than waiting to release the album officially, Wilco began streaming it on their website for free, garnering attention from the public, the media, and record labels. Upon its release in 2002 on Nonesuch Records, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, became their highest charting and most selling album, casting a light of scrutiny on the current state of the music industry.

Over the course of its 244 pages, Wilco: Learning How To Die explores the restless search of Wilco, and in particular Jeff Tweedy, for experimental freedom in defiance of the music industry's desire for quick success and easy marketability. Kot details the pressures Tweedy has faced in that pursuit, such as reconciling his escalating fame with the responsibility of supporting a family, his various conflicts with bandmates and his record label, and his battle with painkiller addiction due to anxiety, depression, and crippling migraine headaches. Ultimately, the book is a championing portrayal of Jeff Tweedy and Wilco's struggle for personal and artistic satisfaction by challenging not only listeners, but also themselves, which makes for compelling and thrilling music biography.
silverystars   
Oct 17, 2007
Writing Feedback / Essay Analysis of a Photograph [3]

For anyone interested in seeing the photos discussed in this essay, they are featured here:

While perusing my e-mail inbox, I came across a chain letter with the subject line of "Photographer." When I opened it, I was met by a stunning set of photographs of a man at the Grand Canyon in Arizona jumping from a formation within the canyon to an adjacent cliff. Accompanying the photos were blurbs emphasizing the danger of the man's jump. But, after researching their authenticity, I found that this type of letter, in presenting incredible images and information, almost always omits or misrepresents certain crucial details, whether it be by design or by accident. That idea resonates with a quote attributed to photographer Ansel Adams: "A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into."

The photos themselves, which, according to the letter, were taken by photographer Hans van der Vorst, were a sight to see. The beauty of the setting alone was eye-catching, with the setting sun shining its remaining light upon two sandy brown rock formations in the foreground. In the first photo, atop a solitary formation is a man in t-shirt, jeans, and sandals taking photos of the sunset. The canyon behind him, awash in deep shades of blue and purple, makes for a background of amazing depth. The letter states that, after the sun had set below the horizon, the man packed up his camera and prepared himself for the jump back to where he had originally leapt from. The second, third, and fourth photos in the series capture the man about to leap, stretched in mid-air, and grabbing hold with only his right arm and foot onto the cliff, respectively. That dangerous feat became much more eye-catching than the beauty of the Canyon.

The letter stresses the man could have, had he not landed successfully, fallen almost 3000 feet to the canyon floor below. But I was skeptical: Would someone be so stupid as to jump over an almost half-mile drop? While toting camera equipment and wearing sandals? The possibility was there, of course, but I had received too many letters that ultimately turned out to be hoaxes to accept these photos were real. I soon found the answer on the Urban Legends Reference Page, a database devoted to debunking myths and misinformation. Their entry explains that the photos of the jump are real, but due to what they do not capture, viewers are led to believe the man could have fallen much further than he would have. However, an additional photo, taken at an alternate angle of the same rock formations, shows a connecting shelf that is a markedly shorter distance than 3000 feet. The entry concludes the worst the man could have potentially suffered was "some bruises or maybe a broken arm or leg, not a plunge into the depths of the Grand Canyon" (Mikkelson.) Even though I learned the photos are not fake in themselves, I felt peeved by how they had been shaped by an exaggerated description into something they are not.

A photo is simply a framing of reality. A photographer can only compose a photo by making use of what they can capture, by choosing either to include or exclude something. But, as this chain letter illustrates, the truth of a photo can be even further twisted by embroidered hyperbole. True, the photos are exciting to look at, but they would not have been as exciting had the ledge below been included in the composition of the photos. Nor would they have been half as compelling if the letter's description emphasized how the man could have fallen a staggering ten feet, suffering the doom of a few bruises. Letters like these are cleverly crafted illusions: it is not simply what you don't see in the photos of a man's dramatic leap that is deceiving, but what you are told to see.

Mikkelson, Barbara and David P.. "Grand Canyon Leap of Faith." Urban Legends Reference Page.
silverystars   
Oct 18, 2007
Grammar, Usage / Thesis Statement Re: Early Mortality of Rock Stars [10]

I am attempting to devise a thesis statement and outline related to a study titled "Elvis to Eminem: quantifying the price of fame through early mortality of European and North American rock and pop stars."

press.psprings.co.uk/jech/september/896_ch59915.pdf

It basically shows that there is an element of truth in the archetype of a rock and roller, and in the perpetuated idea of "live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse."

However, I would like to sort of dismantle the stereotype, if at all possible in light of this study. In reading "Wilco: Learning How To Die," I learned that Jeff Tweedy, a "rock star," for lack of a better term, hates the image of a drug-addled tortured artist. He talks about how he doesn't party, doesn't pursue oblivion, doesn't want to feel out of control. But due to untreated illnesses --- depression, panic disorder, chronic migraine headaches --- he began abusing prescription painkillers. So he ended up embodying the very thing he held in contempt. But he sought out help through a dual diagnosis rehabilitation center, where not only his addiction was treated, but also the psychological roots of his suffering.

My idea for a thesis statement is that Tweedy is a good example of the antithesis of the rock star stereotype. Those who pursue stardom for all the wrong reasons: not wanting to be creative or artistic, but solely for money, drugs, sex, etc.

The "Elvis to Eminem" study states that the "levels of substance use, suicide, violence and other risk behaviours can be reduced not just on an individual basis but through altering the environment." I found an article discussing the link between artistic brilliance and depression, and how many artists might not want to seek treatment for their suffering, lest their creativity becomes stifled. But the doctor interviewed states that "most creative people who have at least significant depression feel that having the depression treated enhances their creativity rather than reduces it." I think that Jeff Tweedy exemplifies that, in that he was searching for a "drug solution" for his pain, not to indulge in typical rock and roll riskiness.

I also have found that Jeff believes music to be the very thing that has helped him: "Music has probably saved my life. No, not probably - I know certainly it has saved my life. It is probably the only really healthy thing I've ever endeavored to do." So there is a bit of a paradox here: the music industry holds a lot of traps for those involved in it, but perhaps. because of music itself, people are capable of surviving and thriving in being a "rock star" (whatever that means by this point.)

Maybe the load rests primarily on the individual. If a person grows up with traumatic experiences from their childhood, it can have an effect on them that is exacerbated by being a rock star. One example is singer Elliott Smith, who ended up dying from what is believed to be self-inflicted knife wounds. He had abused drugs and alcohol up to a few months before his death; toxicology testing found that he was not on street drugs, and that prescribed medications present in his system were at "therapeutic or sub-therapeutic" levels. But he had begun having flashbacks of repressed memories of being sexually molested by his stepfather.

From what I have read about Jeff Tweedy, though, he was able to learn from his family what can arise from substance abuse: his brothers and father had trouble with alcohol, and from their examples he saw that he could fall into that if he was not careful. "I saw the life my dad had, and I knew I didn't want it . . . He had to care care of a family since he was seventeen, and the only real outlet he had was a twelve-pack after working all day. I saw the guitar as my outlet."

I hope that, despite my rambling, my thoughts are decipherable. I am just not sure at all how to assemble what information I have gathered about one artist, or how to sensibly divide one artist into three main points. If anyone has any ideas about this, they will be welcomed with open arms! :)
silverystars   
Oct 19, 2007
Grammar, Usage / Thesis Statement Re: Early Mortality of Rock Stars [10]

Hello, Sarah:

Thank you for your reply. Your example outline got the ball rolling for me, and I dashed this off in about an hour. It is somewhat rough, but I am posting it just the same; to gauge whether or not I am heading in the right direction with this.

Introduction:

What do I need to say to set up my thesis?

One might get the impression simply by judging the titles of his songs that Jeff Tweedy, founder and lead singer/songwriter of the band Wilco, embodies the "drug-addled rock star" stereotype to a T: "I Must Be High," "A Shot in the Arm," "Handshake Drugs." But his lyrics belie that limited perception, especially in "Handshake Drugs": "I felt like a clown/I looked like someone I used to know/I felt alright/and if I ever was myself/I wasn't that night" (Tweedy.) These lyrics describe how his abuse of prescription painkillers to treat his depression, panic attacks, and chronic migraine headaches were making him someone he was not.

Thesis Statement.

While the "drug-addled rock star"stereotype is perpetuated by musicians who romanticize substance abuse, mental illness, and even early death, Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, due to his disdain for that stereotype, has transcended it by rising above such self-destructive behavior.

Body:

What the stereotype is.

The rock star stereotype is perpetuated by famous musicians who embrace risky behavior such as drug and alcohol abuse and sexual promiscuity. Therefore, the common perception is that all rock musicians experience life in extreme, sordid contrast to the general population.

Television shows like Behind The Music contribute to this portrayal, by illustrating the hedonistic lives of rock stars, and how many of them, because they got involved in the music industry, they end up damaged or dead.

The study Elvis to Eminem: quantifying the price of fame through early mortality of European and North American rock and pop stars concludes pretty much the same; that, statistically, rock stars are twice as likely die young than the general population; alcohol and drug abuse-related problems accounts for more than one in four of those deaths. So there is an element of truth in the stereotype.

How Jeff Tweedy fit it.

The closest that Jeff Tweedy came to fitting the stereotype was during the making of the 2004 Wilco album "A Ghost is Born." He began using prescription painkillers to treat his worsening chronic migraine headaches, which were related to his depression and panic disorder. "I just felt like I wanted to feel better, and I wanted to keep functioning . . ." (MTVNews.com.) He went into rehab shortly before the release of "A Ghost is Born," where he was treated for both addiction and mental illness.

How Jeff Tweedy rose above it, distinguishing himself from the others.

1. Jeff Tweedy was not an example of the "drug-addled rock star" stereotype in the manner of his addiction; he wanted to be able to function, not get wasted.

He self-medicated in order to treat his feelings of depression and panic and the chronic migraine headaches that stemmed from those feelings.

An interview by CBS Cares with psychiatrist Dr. Nancy Andreasen of the University of Iowa discusses the link between creativity and depression, in that many artists don't seek treatment for their suffering for fear of stifling their creativity. Dr. Andreason states, however, that "most creative people who have at least significant depression feel that having the depression treated enhances their creativity rather than reduces it" (CBS.com.)

2. Jeff Tweedy rose above the"drug-addled rock star" stereotype because of his experience seeing the effects of similar behavior while growing up.

Jeff Tweedy's friend David Dethrow said, "His brothers and his father had their difficulties with drinking, and Jeff knew he had to be careful. He knew where he'd be heading if he kept it up, because he saw it in his own home. He didn't like being out of control." (Kot 53-54.)

Tweedy was conscious that he had to try to avoid that tendency, lest he fall into the same trap: "I saw the life my dad had, and I knew I didn't want it . . . He had to care of a family since he was seventeen, and the only real outlet he had was a twelve-pack after working all day. I saw the guitar as my outlet" (Kot 15.)

3. Jeff Tweedy rose above the"drug-addled rock star" stereotype because he hates it.

"As a culture we just seem so obsessed with it, we have all these VH1 shows, everything, Behind the Music, every single thing this culture does seems to perpetuate the idea that if you're gonna do something like that, really believe yourself and make some art and stick your neck out, you're gonna f-ing pay a heavy price. You're gonna end up in the ditch and you're gonna get screwed up and you're gonna do drugs, and I think it's a myth to kind of keep people from trying. Maybe it's a good thing to tell yourself at the end of the day when you're in the checkout line at the grocery store, going through the drudgery of another f-ing day, you buy one of those magazines and go, 'Well, at least I don't have to do that'" (Reese.)

4. Jeff Tweedy rose above the"drug-addled rock star" stereotype because of his love of music.

"Music has probably saved my life. No, not probably - I know certainly it has saved my life. It is probably the only really healthy thing I've ever endeavored to do (DeRogatis.)

In rehab, Tweedy recalls, "The doctors told me, 'Your panic goes away completely when you play guitar,' . . . I guess my color changes, everything. That's why we've never canceled shows, and why I struggled with these problems on my own for a long time. Because I always knew when I got onstage and played, I would feel better" (Binelli.)
silverystars   
Oct 24, 2007
Grammar, Usage / Thesis Statement Re: Early Mortality of Rock Stars [10]

Hello,

I have tried to flesh out my outline, but am a little uncertain as to whether I am making myself clear. I assure you that your eyes are not fooling you: this is probably fraught with syntax errors. But I haven't taken the time to work on those yet. I'd rather make sure the foundation and structure are intact before I worry about, oh, say, interior design. :) I have about 1300 words so far; I need at least 1500.

//removed//

The body of this needs work; I am most certain of that, but after having written it, I am at a point where I am not sure what needs work.

I also have no clue as to how to conclude this. I feel that I have spun out my reasons like disparate threadbare yarns (for lack of a better similie,) and I am therefore puzzled as how to tie them all together into a good conclusion.

Thanks for all of your help, Sarah!
silverystars   
Nov 8, 2007
Grammar, Usage / Thesis Statement Re: Early Mortality of Rock Stars [10]

Hello Sarah,

I have appreciated all of your help. I have received mostly As for my papers, and only a few Bs, but only for slight syntax and formatting errors. In short, I cannot thank you enough for your assessments. :)

Here is a slightly revised edition. The previous version can be deleted, if need be. This is 1826 words.

The Rock and Roll Stereotype

The image of a "drug-addled rock star" is one who embraces risky and careless behavior, who romanticizes the lifestyle summed up in one common phrase: "sex, drugs, and rock and roll." The general perception is, therefore, that all rock musicians are gluttons for that mode of living - that they exist in extreme, sordid contrast to the general population. But while the "drug-addled rock star" image is certainly perpetuated by musicians who romanticize substance abuse, mental illness, and even early death, Wilco's Jeff Tweedy has transcended it by rising above such self-destructive behavior because of his disdain for that stereotype.

One doesn't have to look too far to see the promotion of the "drug-addled rock star" stereotype in the media. Tabloid magazine covers regularly feature the latest casualties of rock stardom. Television shows like Behind the Music specialize in illustrating the hedonistic lives of rock stars, highlighting how many musicians, because of their involvement in the music industry, end up either damaged or dead. Even a study released in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health showed that rock stars are twice as likely to die prematurely than the general population. The study revealed that there is an element of truth in the stereotype, noting that such factors as "stress, changes from popularity to obscurity, and exposure to environments where alcohol and drugs are easily available, can all contribute to substance use as well as other self-destructive behaviors" (Bellis 901). However, there are those who absolutely do not wish to fit the stereotype. One example is Jeff Tweedy, though he has had his own struggle with substance abuse.

One might get the impression simply by judging the titles of his songs that Tweedy, who is the founder and lead singer/songwriter of the Chicago-based rock band Wilco, fits the "drug-addled rock star" stereotype: "I Must Be High," "A Shot in the Arm," "Handshake Drugs." But his lyrics belie that limited perception, especially those of "Handshake Drugs":

They were translating poorly
I felt like a clown
I looked like someone I used to know
I felt alright
and if I ever was myself, I wasn't that night ("Handshake Drugs").

Those lyrics, in retrospect, convey how he might have felt under the effect of prescription painkillers during the making of Wilco's 2004 album A Ghost is Born. Because of his desire for normalcy, he took painkillers in an attempt to eradicate his feelings of depression, his panic attacks, and his migraines, which "had plagued him since boyhood - they'd caused him to miss forty days of elementary school one year alone" (Kot 50). But the pills he was taking were making him someone he was not. Jeff later said, "I just felt like I wanted to feel better, and I wanted to keep functioning" (qtd. in MTVNews.com). But it soon became too much, forcing him to enter himself into a Chicago rehabilitation clinic in April 2004. His stay in rehab delayed the release of A Ghost is Born, but did not affect its track list; one of the songs featured on the album was, ironically, "Handshake Drugs." The fact that he personally sought treatment for his problems, though, is one of many reasons why he does not embody the stereotype.

Jeff Tweedy is not an example of the "drug-addled rock star" stereotype because of the manner of his addiction; the reason that he self-medicated was because he wanted to be able to function, not get wasted. An interview by CBS Cares, a health-oriented division of the television network CBS, with psychiatrist Dr. Nancy Andreasen discussed whether there is a link between creativity and depression. In particular, one idea highlighted in the interview is that many artists do not seek treatment for their suffering because they fear it will stifle their creativity. However, Dr. Andreason said that "most creative people who have at least significant depression feel that having the depression treated enhances their creativity rather than reduces it" (qtd. in CBS.com). This thought certainly applies to Tweedy; he wanted to be able to function and, above that, he wanted to be able to create. Ultimately, Tweedy found that treatment was the only way he could ensure that he could achieve that.

Another reason why Jeff Tweedy transcends the stereotype is because he simply hates it. In Greg Kot's book "Wilco: Learning How To Die," Tweedy was quoted as unmincingly stating, "I despise the 'drug-addled rock star' image" (Kot 131). Via an e-mail interview, I asked Kot what he thought made Tweedy's substance abuse so different from the average rock star. "I think critical to Tweedy's development, and his disdain for the rock star image, is his background in punk," Kot wrote. "Anybody of that generation, who saw [This is Spinal Tap] and saw how ridiculous rock can be, is very self-aware about subjects such as celebrity, sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, etc. That doesn't mean they avoid these traps, however." Kot told me that it took Jeff a long time to open up to him about his self-medicating. "He wasn't proud of it, and didn't want it be the focus of any story about him. Contrast his attitude toward the dudes in Mötley Crüe or Marilyn Manson or Courtney Love. They are the old-fashioned rock stars, who revel in how screwed up they can get, and have written books about it." Kot summarized his view by saying, "If Tweedy represents the new breed of rock star - more thoughtful, yet just as reckless in many ways - it doesn't mean he's not prone to the same self-destructive traps. He's just more conflicted about it."

Jeff Tweedy has himself talked how the stereotype has the power to discourage people from being creative for fear of succumbing to the trappings entailed with fame:

As a culture we just seem so obsessed with it, we have all these VH1 shows, everything, Behind the Music, every single thing this culture does seems to perpetuate the idea that if you're gonna do something like that, really believe yourself and make some art and stick your neck out, you're gonna fucking pay a heavy price. You're gonna end up in the ditch and you're gonna get screwed up and you're gonna do drugs, and I think it's a myth to kind of keep people from trying. Maybe it's a good thing to tell yourself at the end of the day when you're in the checkout line at the grocery store, going through the drudgery of another fucking day, you buy one of those magazines and go, 'Well, at least I don't have to do that' (qtd. in Reese).

While growing up, Jeff's experience with the effect of self-destructive behavior on his family helped to shape his contempt for the excessiveness of the typical rock star lifestyle. David Dethrow, a childhood friend of Tweedy's, said that "his brothers and his father had their difficulties with drinking, and Jeff knew he had to be careful. He knew where he'd be heading if he kept it up, because he saw it in his own home. He didn't like being out of control" (qtd. in Kot 53-54). Tweedy grew conscious of his need to avoid drinking, lest he fall into the same trap - so much so that, when he started dating his future wife Sue Miller, he quit alcohol "cold turkey" in 1991 (Kot 53). Jeff himself said, "I saw the life my dad had, and I knew I didn't want it. He had to care of a family since he was seventeen, and the only real outlet he had was a twelve-pack after working all day. I saw the guitar as my outlet" (qtd. in Kot 15).

Ultimately, what kept Tweedy from descending deep into the abyss of stereotypical rock star decadence was his love of music itself. According to the article "Tweedy's Ghost Stories," written by Mark Binelli for Rolling Stone, Tweedy's stay in rehab initially meant losing the privilege of playing his guitar, which was something he did every day up to that point. Soon, though, Jeff was given permission to play guitar during the clinic's art-therapy classes, which led to an interesting observation. Tweedy said, "The doctors told me, 'Your panic goes away completely when you play guitar' . . . I guess my color changes, everything. That's why we've never canceled shows, and why I struggled with these problems on my own for a long time. Because I always knew when I got onstage and played, I would feel better" (qtd. in Binelli). Shortly after leaving rehab, Jeff said that "music has probably saved my life. No, not probably - I know certainly it has saved my life. It is probably the only really healthy thing I've ever endeavored to do" (qtd. in DeRogatis). The healing effect that music has had on Jeff shows that there need not be a damaging trade-off in being a rock musician.

Because of Jeff Tweedy's intense dislike and lack of respect for the kind of behavior that is attributed to many rock stars, he has survived and thrived - survived his own drug experience with the help of rehabilitation and has therefore thrived personally and artistically. On Wilco's 2007 album Sky Blue Sky - the first studio album by the band since Tweedy's stay in rehab - he sounds as if he is starting anew. As one article described, the album "sounds like a record written by a man whose life has flashed before his eyes" (Mathieson). The lyrics of Sky Blue Sky's title song reflects that:

With a sky blue sky
This rotten time
Wouldn't seem so bad to me now
Oh, if I didn't die
I should be satisfied
I survived
That's good enough for now ("Sky Blue Sky").

Those lyrics convey a renewed sense of acceptance, satisfaction and well-being - feelings that are found buried and twisted within the lyrics of the previously mentioned "Handshake Drugs."

The general perception that all musicians live dangerously in comparison to the general population is contradicted by the life of Jeff Tweedy. The manner of his addiction was not typical because he was not trying to get wasted or lose his mind on drugs; he wanted to be able to function. He hates the stereotype of a rock musician whose very being is entwined with the glamorization of chemical dependance. He also saw how his family was affected by substance abuse, which molded his disdainful view of such behavior. Above all, writing and performing music is what has kept him from growing to be the very "drug-addled rock star" image he has decried on many occasions.

As J.D. Salinger once wrote in The Catcher in the Rye, "The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." Jeff Tweedy does not want to die for the cause of the "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" lifestyle; he wants simply to live so that he can continue to pursue the music that he so loves, which is the best example he can set as the antithesis of the Rock and Roll Stereotype.
silverystars   
Sep 8, 2008
Speeches / Demonstration Speech: How To Write A Song [3]

How To Write A Song

Specific Purpose: To demonstrate how to write a song.

Central Idea:

I. How many of you listen to music? How many of you have thought about what goes into writing a song? The lyrics and music could have been written by one person, or as a collaboration, with two, three, four, or five or more songwriters; it could have been inspired by a true story, or completely made up by the writer; the music could even be sampled from another song with new lyrics on top; it could be about the singer, about someone else, or the world as a whole. There are many ways in which a song can be written, but I am going to try to demystify the process of songwriting by showing you what I do. All it takes to write a song is to have a bit of musical knowledge, do some creative writing and recording, and refine it until you have a song. And I guess that means it does involve some actual work. Hey, I am trying to demystify it. If a song ever does come to you in a vision, then be sure to write it down and let me know how you did it! Until then, this will have to do. This is how I write a song, and I hope it works for you.

Transition: Let's begin with some preparation.

II. Listen and pay attention to songs that you like and music that you don't like; it will build your understanding of what a song is and improve your ability to write a song.

A. Listen to the lyrics: the themes, metaphors, and ideas communicated by a song.

1. If you like the song, ask yourself, "What makes these lyrics so good?"
2. If you don't like the song, ask yourself, "How would I change these lyrics to make it better?"
3. Write down your thoughts and ideas.

B. Listen to the music: the rhythm, the chords, and especially the melody.

1. If you like the song, ask yourself, "What makes the music so good?"
2. If you don't like the song, ask yourself, "How would I change the music to make it better?"
3. Write down your thoughts and ideas.

Transition: Now, let's learn how write a song.

III. There are a few steps involved in the process of writing a song.

A. First, find a place to write in solitude, a pencil and paper, and a tape recorder.

1. I like to use my office, but a good place could be in a bedroom, by a rock formation in the forest, or even in the bathroom - or maybe not in the bathroom, if you live with other people.

2. A number-two pencil and lined notebook paper are recommended.
3. Any means of recording and saving your voice is fine, whether it's a tape recorder, your computer, or your answering machine - or maybe not.

B. Assuming that you have derived sufficient inspiration from listening to lyrics and have an idea for a song, write a word that embodies that idea at the top of a page.

1. For example, I wanted to write a song based on Kelsey Smith, a girl from Kansas who in June 2007 was abducted outside of a Target store, so at the top of a page, I wrote, "Missing Girl."

C. Give yourself ninety seconds to write as fast as you can as many words that you associate with that keyword.

1. In my example, I wrote whatever came to mind, such as "frightening," "spotlights," "all alone," "somebody shivers," beg and pray," "hands and knees," "please," and ""come back home."

D. Circle the list of words that you have written, as they will be a toolkit for constructing the lyrics of your song.

1. In my example, using these words helped me to write lyrical lines that related to what I originally wanted to write about: the missing girl, Kelsey Smith.

E. Assuming that you have derived sufficient inspiration from listening to music and have an idea for a style of music, begin writing lines based on your musical ideas.

1. In my example, because I had been listening to a song by Wilco, "Spiders," and was inspired by the rhythm, chords, and melody, I started stringing words together that fit both the lyrics and the music "in my head," such as, "spotlights sigh when something is shown/somebody shivers when you're not at home."

F. As you keep writing, more ideas will come to mind and, before you know it, you will have a song.

1. In my example, I initially wrote the song in about 30 minutes.

G. Record your lyric and music ideas by singing them into your recording device.

1. In my example, I recorded my ideas by both reciting a lyric with no melody and humming melodies with no lyrics.

H. You may come back to the song and decide to rewrite and re-record in order to improve on it, and that's not only okay, that's recommended!

1. In my example, I came back to the song after a day or two and revised a few lines, such as changing "spotlight" to "searchlight," and changed the melody around, as well.

Transition: That's how I recommend to write a song.

IV. Today, I tried to demystify the songwriting process by showing you what I have learned. All it took was taking time to listen to music, getting an idea for a song, finding a discreet place to write it, writing a word that represents your song idea at the top of a page, writing some other words really fast below it, and using those words to write and record a song. After I wrote the song, I found out that the girl, Kelsey Smith, had been found murdered. I thought that maybe I should change the song, but changed my mind. It works almost like a time-capsule of that time. I hope that you now understand that the ability to write a song can be something great to have as part of your life. It just takes knowing how to do it, but the most important part is doing it. Thank you for your time.
silverystars   
Sep 12, 2008
Speeches / Informative Speech About A Film (chapter 27) [7]

I am having a hard time coming up with an informative speech. I wanted to talk about the film "Chapter 27", which has actor Jaret Leto portraying Mark David Chapman, who murdered John Lennon on December 8, 1980. (Much information on it in synopsis form can be found at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapter_27.) I am not sure of the best way to approach an informative speech on such a film, as it is somewhat controversial. Many John Lennon and Beatles fans are against the film's very existence and do not wish to see Chapman gain notoriety in any way, shape, or form. I did see the film (which was based on interviews conducted between Chapman and journalist Jack Jones) and I found that it does not portray Chapman in a sympathetic fashion. I don't want to persuade people, mind you, but rather inform the audience of the film and the opposing views. What I'm trying to say is that I've hit a mental block. What would be some good ways to go about talking about "Chapter 27" as an informative speech?
silverystars   
Sep 12, 2008
Speeches / Informative Speech About A Film (chapter 27) [7]

Perhaps I should also write about this, to save space: for a persuasive speech, I was considering utilizing one (just one!) of many, many points made in this video of a CNN Crossfire debate with Frank Zappa:

youtube.com/watch?v=8ISil7IHzxc.

One idea that is touched upon is that rock lyrics are not so much corrupting the spirit of America, but rather are a reflection of the preexisting corruption in certain aspects of the spirit of America, and the need to focus on those aspects instead of rock lyrics. Any help is greatly appreciated, as I have come to a mental block on this, as well.
silverystars   
Sep 18, 2008
Speeches / Informative Speech About A Film (chapter 27) [7]

Hello,

Thanks for your advice. I decided that I would not be able to do the film justice, so I changed the subject to a Salvador Dalí painting titled "The Hallucinogenic Toreador." I have gotten as far as the introduction and the body, but am not sure if I should include more information, as there is a time limit, and I'm not sure how to conclude it. I also have not yet compiled my bibliography.

Thanks for your help!

The Hallucinogenic Toreador

Specific Purpose: To inform my audience about the Salvador Dalí painting The Hallucinogenic Toreador.

Central Idea:

I. How many of you know about Salvador Dalí? In case you don't know, he was a famous Spanish surrealist painter who was born in 1904 and died in 1989. I didn't really know who he was until about ten years ago, when my family and I visited the Salvador Dalí Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. While the rest of my family thought the museum was okay, I was blown away by it. It was amazing to see these weird and imaginative paintings on display. The painting that I was most amazed by was huge, 10 foot by 13 foot, that Dalí painted over the course of 1968 to 1970 at his home in Figueres, Spain: El torero alucinógeno, or, The Hallucinogenic Toreador. I think the reason I still like it so much is that there is so much going on in it. A tour guide there tried to explain it to us, but there was so much to see, I couldn't take it all in. Well, consider me your tour guide when I tell you that there is so much time, so little to see. (Wait. Strike that. Reverse that.) I'll try to show you as much as I can about The Hallucinogenic Toreador. First, I'll touch on what inspired the painting. Then I'll explain the method used in developing the painting. Finally, I'll explain what it's about and what the main elements represent.

Transition: Let's get started.

II. Salvador Dalí's initial inspiration for The Hallucinogenic Toreador was a box of pencils.
A. According to an article on dali-gallery.com, while in an art supply store in New York, Dalí found a box of Venus de Milo pencils and saw an optical illusion in the package photo, which I will explain later.

Transition: Now I'll explain the method used by Dalí in conceiving the painting.

III. Salvador Dalí developed the painting by using the paranoiac critical method, a surrealist system that he invented for connecting to his subconscious and his deepest thoughts.

A. According to an article on associatedcontent.com, Dali trained himself to fall into a hallucinatory haze, without using any drugs, then return to a normal state of mind and paint the images that came from being in that haze.

Transition: Now I'll explain what it's about and what the main elements of the painting represent.

IV. In The Hallucinogenic Toreador, Salvador Dalí depicted a toreador at a traditional Spanish bullfight using a variety of surreal images.
A. At the center of the painting, the Venus de Milos form the image of a toreador, hence the painting's title.

1. On the center Venus de Milo, the green skirt represents the necktie, the white skirt the shirt, the abdomen the chin, the waist the mouth, the left breast the nose, and the nape the neck the eye, shedding a tear for the bull.

2. On the right-hand Venus de Milo, the red skirt represents the toreador's red cape, along with a rose on it, the hip the outline of the face, and the right arm the other eye.

3. The dots and flies above the Venus de Milos represent the toreador's hat, while the dots and flies at the bottom left-hand corner represent the toreador's coat.

B. At left of the center of the painting, a glowing Venus de Milo forms another image, that of the figure of a toreador dedicating the bull to the glowing woman's face above.

1. The left breast represents the head of the toreador, the hip and waste the upper body of the toreador, the right arm the two arms of the toreador, and the shoulder the hat being raised by the toreador.

2. According to an article on cdc.gov, the woman above represents Gala, Salvador Dalí's wife, who frowned upon bullfighting.

C. Below the glowing Venus de Milo is a dying bull with drool coming out of its mouth.

1. The colored dots above the bull represent the point at which the bull is stabbed: between the shoulder blades and through the heart.
2. The eye of the bull is represented by a fly.
3. The bull also can be seen as a rock formation, and the drool coming from its mouth as a lake, complete with a girl in a bikini on a pool float, representing Cape Creus, a local tourist spot.

4. According to Dalí, it represents the "modern tourist invasions of Cape Creus which even the flies of St. Narcisco have been unable to halt!"

D. Below the lake are seemingly random spots.

1. If you look closely, the spots form the image of a Dalmatian.
2. According to an article on Boston University's website, the dog image is used in demonstrating the Gestalt theory of Emergence, which says that our minds aren't able to recognize the dog simply by its parts, but rather, our minds fill in the negative spaces and recognize the dog all at once.

E. At the bottom right-hand corner of the painting is a small boy in a sailor outfit, holding a hoop and fossil bone.

1. The small boy is a self-portrait of Dalí as a child; his favorite toys were, in fact, a hoop and a fossil bone.
2. Dalí as a child looks directly at Gala at the top left-hand corner.
silverystars   
Oct 7, 2008
Speeches / Persuasive Speech: Schizophrenia and Suicide [4]

Are Schizophrenia and Suicide Related?



I have been given the assignment of giving a persuasive speech and I have been wracking my brain trying to think of a topic that I feel is important that perhaps many people don't know enough about, which led me to the subject of schizophrenia. I began looking up basic information on it and found a couple of things. I read that one in every four families is affected in some way by schizophrenia. I also read these statistics: four in ten people who suffer from schizophrenia attempt suicide. One in ten people who suffer from schizophrenia dies by suicide. So my idea was persuade my audience in some way about schizophrenia and suicide prevention, as it's a very real and correlated risk. Telling people about it would simply be informing them, but I need to persuade them to do something. But how? My experience has cast modern medicine as an option, but a frightening one, so I wouldn't have any personal credibility in my recommending of it. My experience, which I've not talked of much to anyone up to this point, could show them what could happen if they don't do anything at all to help someone, as I knew someone who succumbed to such a thing. If anyone can offer any ideas at all, I'd appreciate it.
silverystars   
Oct 7, 2008
Speeches / Persuasive Speech: Schizophrenia and Suicide [4]

Hello,

Thank you for responding. You are correct about my experience with schizophrenia, and I deeply appreciate the fact that you yourself are familiar with the subject and your advice on how to persuade.

Just tonight, I found an article that shed another light on the situation. The state that I live in has a Mental Health law that does not allow court-ordered outpatient treatment, which is available in 41 other states. It also requires someone to be an immediate danger to themselves or others before there is any court intervention, and only for a period of 72 hours.

The problems are twofold. One, if family or friends see that someone they know is schizophrenic, that they show the signs, the tendency toward suicide, but is deemed not to be an imminent danger to themselves or others, they can't be committed. Two, if someone is committed, the law permits them to check themselves out and go home. Imagine family and friends breathing a sigh of relief to see that they will receive care and the horror they experience as they are released with no strings attached, with no order to stay on medication.

Perhaps this is something to take issue: encouraging reform for my state's law, to make court-ordered outpatient treatment mandatory. One statistic I've read is that there are more than three times as many people with severe mental illness in my state's jails as there are in state psychiatric hospitals.

I feel opposed to many of the extreme forms of modern medical treatment but, like you said, I am torn. My personal experience has to do with this very law that we tried to make use of because, no matter how we tried, we could not help someone in our family. We called on the Mental Health law after the person attempted suicide by overdosing on antidepressants, but this person, who was mentally ill, lied and said that it was an accident and that they needed to leave and go back to work. Without us being notified, the person was allowed to leave. That person later succeeded in their second attempt. Perhaps if they had been ordered by a judge to undergo treatment, that person would still be alive, totally regardless of any feelings I have toward modern medicine.

Maybe this is a topic that is way too big to handle in a seven-minute speech! But I think the core subject will help people to see that it is a problem, not so much about public safety, but the safety of the people who suffer themselves from schizophrenia and end up with no help of any kind. What do you think?
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Undergraduate / "An Unexplainable Happening" - a personal narrative about a memorable event [5]

Hi Crystal,

This is a great story. I'm just going to peer-edit this quickly, and I hope that's okay. I'd lke to know what happens once you leave your house. I suggest that you add a little more to the last paragraph, if only to add some more insight into what you all thought of that might have scared Nanook. Or perhaps you can end it on a lighter note; perhaps you now wish you had chosen to watch "Barney" instead!

Again, great story, and I hope you don't mind the peer-editing.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Book Reports / What is an easy book to do a book report on? [15]

This might sound like a no-brainer, but this is something I've learned in writing speeches. The best way to do it is to come up with the main points (discussing the three books that have influenced you) for the body of your work: in other words, "Say it." Then, simply go back and introduce your work by giving a sneak preview of your main points ("Say what you are going to say") and wrap it all up by concluding and reviewing your work by, again, touching upon your main points ("Say what you have just said.")

Again, that mind sound simple, but it might help, for the most important thing to do is write. Once you have written enough and have molded your thoughts into the main part of your essay, the introduction and conclusion will be the easy parts.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Undergraduate / My first Essay. how a college education will change your life [28]

religious references are almost always likely to be interpreted as red flags, and so should probably be omitted.

Interesting, as I've not given that much thought about how religion can be seen as a negative in terms of college admittance. It is a bit disheartening, though, as I feel there should be those in this world who can deftly balance the spiritual and the literal, with a good college education being crucial in that.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Undergraduate / "An Unexplainable Happening" - a personal narrative about a memorable event [5]

Hi Crystal,

Glad to help! I remember hearing the same rumor about Three Men and a Baby, only to learn that it was a cardboard cutout of Ted Dansen. Oh, well, live and learn!

Keep sharing your writing. As you do, I'm sure as time goes on you'll see your skills improving.

Silverystars
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Undergraduate / U of Texas, Austin Topic A (every stage of my life) [9]

Hi Kent,

I haven't taken time to read your entire essay yet, but I felt I had to go ahead and post about one item in particular. After reading the first sentence, I was struck by the word "disinter". It's a word that forces one to instantly run to their dictionary. I would recommend using simpler language, such as "helped unearth my potential" or "helped bring to light my potential".

Now back to reading your essay... :)

Silverystars
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Writing Feedback / review - Position(s) of responsibility you have held [5]

On the last sentence, I would emphasize your point like this:

It also gave me a great level of satisfaction -- satisfaction of doing something for the society.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Suggestions for commonapp personal essay-a dot in the sky [4]

Hi Fantasy,

Great content! The only aspects I notice that I could critique are punctuation, but the choices you wish to make in those terms is up to you. For example, I would replace the colon after "I am now a rock" with either a comma or a period, depending on how you wish your words to flow.

Also, I would put a period in this sentence, like so: "There is never a prize for winning. Perhaps an extra hot-dog, but no tangible reason to compete so deeply."

Also, I was intrigued when you said, "With moon's journey." If it had been me, I probably would have said, "With THE moon's journey," but I find your phrasing much more interesting.

Nice work, especially your use of imagery!

Silverystars

P.S. Your first line reminded me of Simon and Garfunkel's "I Am A Rock", a favorite song of mine.

P.P.S. I just thought of how you are like the moon, as you are now a rock. Whether that was intentional or not, I'll say this: you rock!
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Poetry / Need suggestions on copyrights of my poems? [5]

Wow, what a tough thing copyrights can be on the internet! I am of the belief that, once someone posts an original work on an open forum without first protecting it, it pretty much becomes public domain. Perhaps I am wrong, but that seems to be the consensus among writers that I have spoken with.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Poetry / Lineage by Margaret Walker [7]

"My grandmothers were strong.
Why am I not as they?"

What sad words those can be.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay Analysis of a Photograph [3]

I'm simply revisiting this thread to say a belated thanks for the help that I received. :)
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Speeches / Suggesting a few ideas about Qualities of a good speech [11]

If I can recommend one thing that is essential for speech, it would be: have fun. There's nothing worse than watching someone giving a speech who looks like they'd rather be anywhere else. This might sound cruel, but it's a good thought to keep in mind. :)
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Speeches / Demonstration Speech: How To Write A Song [3]

I shortened the speech somewhat, added some slideshow visuals of how to write down your song on paper, and then performed a song I wrote using the method. It was my first speech, so it was quite nerve-wracking for me. However, I did get an A. All in all, I say thanks for your help, Gloria!
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Writing Feedback / About edgar allen poe essay [11]

Shock and sophistication is a mixture that can so easily be either loved or loathed, but the point is it does draw our interest. The reward for that lies within the reader alone.
silverystars   
Jan 26, 2009
Faq, Help / Which is the best site for essay in your opinion? [8]

What I find funny is that, if he were to actually write something, he could get a lot of help from the moderators here --- for free, no less! Oh, well...

Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳