DoctorWho
Feb 7, 2017
Writing Feedback / Increasing use of vehicles contributes to air pollution and leads to an overuse of natural resources [3]
Hey Maitouyen!!
Overall an ok essay.
I think your conclusion is pretty solid. But the introduction can be written in a better way.
The content seems to be less.
I've slightly modified the Introduction -
In the present day, the rising number of private vehicles on the roads have been a matter of great controversy. Some say it is a direct consequence of modernization and economic development, but is this really a boon?
In the content part of the essay is where you answer the question in detail. Write points in favor.
1) The increasing no of vehicles = More exhaust fumes = Direct damage to ozone layer in atmosphere and greenhouse effect.( Rising global temperature)
2) Increasing consumption and depletion of natural resources.
Other points include -
*Traffic congestion leading to noise pollution.
* Increasing Road traffic accidents, etc
Start the second part of the question with something like-
The problems associated with increasing private vehicles has dire consequences and needs prompt actions for it's control.
* Improving standards of Public transport and introduction of new means like metro rail lines.
* Carpooling
* Certain Govt. laws regarding the no. of vehicles per home. ( I think i read an article of the sort somewhere, so that can be one of the steps the govt takes to ensure less vehicles.)
Good Luck! :)
Hey Maitouyen!!
Overall an ok essay.
I think your conclusion is pretty solid. But the introduction can be written in a better way.
The content seems to be less.
I've slightly modified the Introduction -
In the present day, the rising number of private vehicles on the roads have been a matter of great controversy. Some say it is a direct consequence of modernization and economic development, but is this really a boon?
In the content part of the essay is where you answer the question in detail. Write points in favor.
1) The increasing no of vehicles = More exhaust fumes = Direct damage to ozone layer in atmosphere and greenhouse effect.( Rising global temperature)
2) Increasing consumption and depletion of natural resources.
Other points include -
*Traffic congestion leading to noise pollution.
* Increasing Road traffic accidents, etc
Start the second part of the question with something like-
The problems associated with increasing private vehicles has dire consequences and needs prompt actions for it's control.
* Improving standards of Public transport and introduction of new means like metro rail lines.
* Carpooling
* Certain Govt. laws regarding the no. of vehicles per home. ( I think i read an article of the sort somewhere, so that can be one of the steps the govt takes to ensure less vehicles.)
Good Luck! :)