Holt Educational Consultant
Nov 9, 2017
Undergraduate / Autobiography used in exchange program [2]
Dong, I am not sure what kind of review you require for this letter since you did not give any instructions for it. What I did notice, is that this letter isn't the kind of letter of self introduction that would be beneficial to you as an applicant. You need to format this, if it is a letter of self introduction, or a motivation letter, as one that follows the instructions you were provided. Had you given a copy of the instructions for this letter to me, I would have been able to better assess and outline which information is required and which information is not required in your letter. The one thing I can tell you, is that you should not use this outline format in the presentation. You must shorten this letter to only the required elements as per the instructions you were provided. Do not provide your student ID number in the letter. That is unnecessary and, if you still can, delete it from this thread as well because that is private information that nobody except you and the university should know about. You must also know that the IELTS test has a validity period so you have to double check that and make sure that you are not required to retake the test because the validity has already expired. Your outline sounds more like a resume, which does not provide enough explanations, so you will really need to develop your letter into a discussion paragraph, depending upon the required information. Right now, this is just a glorified resume that will not be acceptable as a letter of self introduction or motivation letter.
Dong, I am not sure what kind of review you require for this letter since you did not give any instructions for it. What I did notice, is that this letter isn't the kind of letter of self introduction that would be beneficial to you as an applicant. You need to format this, if it is a letter of self introduction, or a motivation letter, as one that follows the instructions you were provided. Had you given a copy of the instructions for this letter to me, I would have been able to better assess and outline which information is required and which information is not required in your letter. The one thing I can tell you, is that you should not use this outline format in the presentation. You must shorten this letter to only the required elements as per the instructions you were provided. Do not provide your student ID number in the letter. That is unnecessary and, if you still can, delete it from this thread as well because that is private information that nobody except you and the university should know about. You must also know that the IELTS test has a validity period so you have to double check that and make sure that you are not required to retake the test because the validity has already expired. Your outline sounds more like a resume, which does not provide enough explanations, so you will really need to develop your letter into a discussion paragraph, depending upon the required information. Right now, this is just a glorified resume that will not be acceptable as a letter of self introduction or motivation letter.