Holt Educational Consultant
Oct 25, 2017
Writing Feedback / [WRITING IELTS TASK 2] - Mass Media controls people's mind. What can be done? [7]
Chantel, you were going great in the development of the essay discussion until you made one small error. You decided to say the following: however, I am convinced that there are solutions to this matter.
Where did that reference come from? As I reviewed the original prompt, this opinion was not being asked for. So why did you include it? This is a prompt deviation that has forced a failure of your TA representation. You will definitely lose major points for including a discussion of a topic that is not required by the original presentation.
This is a single opinion essay, not a double opinion presentation. Therefore, when you did a compare and contrast of the topic, instead of just discussing the supporting facts of your opinion throughout the essay, you once again, failed to accurately represent the task you were assigned to do. More points deducted.
Your conclusion does not accurately represent the summary of the given topic. More points deducted from the overall score. It is difficult to say that you will pass the test with this sort of presentation because of the prompt deviations that exist within it. It might get a passing score but I can't be sure about it.
Chantel, you were going great in the development of the essay discussion until you made one small error. You decided to say the following: however, I am convinced that there are solutions to this matter.
Where did that reference come from? As I reviewed the original prompt, this opinion was not being asked for. So why did you include it? This is a prompt deviation that has forced a failure of your TA representation. You will definitely lose major points for including a discussion of a topic that is not required by the original presentation.
This is a single opinion essay, not a double opinion presentation. Therefore, when you did a compare and contrast of the topic, instead of just discussing the supporting facts of your opinion throughout the essay, you once again, failed to accurately represent the task you were assigned to do. More points deducted.
Your conclusion does not accurately represent the summary of the given topic. More points deducted from the overall score. It is difficult to say that you will pass the test with this sort of presentation because of the prompt deviations that exist within it. It might get a passing score but I can't be sure about it.