Holt Educational Consultant
Feb 1, 2017
Writing Feedback / [IELTS task 2] Lack of Learning languages and children development in the modern society [2]
Ken, the overall score for your essay cannot be higher than a 2. Yes, I mean that score is what you will get for each and every band criteria. There are a number of reasons that you cannot score higher than this in an actual test, with this type of presentation. The reasons are as follows:
1. The response that you gave slips in and out of relevance to the prompt requirement. You have a tendency to discuss unrelated topics in the essay.
2. You do not have any control of organizational features. The reader has a hard time trying to make sense of the topic that you are trying to discuss per paragraph.
3. Your language problem has created an essay that cannot be understood by the reader due to the problems with lexical resources and sentence structure. You have absolutely no idea as to how to compose even the most simple English sentence in a comprehensible manner. This causes severe stress for the reader.
4. Your punctuation problems are evident throughout the essay. The comma should not take the place of a period and it should not be contained throughout a paragraph. That qualifies your written work as only one sentence instead of a full paragraph. A paragraph is created by knowing when to use periods in your thought presentations.
While this essay is truly problematic, I would like you to continue practicing. I know this is your first attempt at writing an IELTS Task 2 essay so the problems are understandable. With constant practice and guidance, you should show some improvement within a week or two. Just write everyday. Don't stop. That is the only way that you can get better at developing these essays.
Ken, the overall score for your essay cannot be higher than a 2. Yes, I mean that score is what you will get for each and every band criteria. There are a number of reasons that you cannot score higher than this in an actual test, with this type of presentation. The reasons are as follows:
1. The response that you gave slips in and out of relevance to the prompt requirement. You have a tendency to discuss unrelated topics in the essay.
2. You do not have any control of organizational features. The reader has a hard time trying to make sense of the topic that you are trying to discuss per paragraph.
3. Your language problem has created an essay that cannot be understood by the reader due to the problems with lexical resources and sentence structure. You have absolutely no idea as to how to compose even the most simple English sentence in a comprehensible manner. This causes severe stress for the reader.
4. Your punctuation problems are evident throughout the essay. The comma should not take the place of a period and it should not be contained throughout a paragraph. That qualifies your written work as only one sentence instead of a full paragraph. A paragraph is created by knowing when to use periods in your thought presentations.
While this essay is truly problematic, I would like you to continue practicing. I know this is your first attempt at writing an IELTS Task 2 essay so the problems are understandable. With constant practice and guidance, you should show some improvement within a week or two. Just write everyday. Don't stop. That is the only way that you can get better at developing these essays.