Holt Educational Consultant
Dec 27, 2016
Undergraduate / Barnard - majored in unafraid - The only girl in Computer Science [8]
Mualla, is there any chance that there was a different time in your life when you majored in "unafraid" based upon something that is not related to Math, Computer Science, or STEM? I am only bringing this up because there is already a major redundancy in your essays. All of your topics focus on the same discussion, this can pose a problem because the reviewer can get tired of reading about the same topic over and over and over again in different prompts. He is not getting to know who you are beyond your love for these 3 fields of learning. Each essay you write should strive to try and represent a different part of you when the topic pertains to a common prompt. That means that it is not "major" centered. This is a written interview so you need to shake it up and change your focus every so often. Just as you would in a regular face to face interview.
While this essay is sheer perfection yet again, the reviewer does not see you constantly overcoming any other obstacle except sexual discrimination. We need to avoid boring the reviewer with your topics. If he sees that you have discussed the same topic for 3 or more essays, you are risking him simply skimming the beginning of your essay and not really paying attention to what you have to say anymore because you always say the same thing in 100 different ways.
Sorry if I am blunt about this, but I am trying to improve your chances by showing varying facets to your life experiences, life abilities, and life direction in general. We are overly focused on STEM, Math, and Computer Science at the moment and it could really get tiring , boring, and repetitive for the reviewer to read.
Mualla, is there any chance that there was a different time in your life when you majored in "unafraid" based upon something that is not related to Math, Computer Science, or STEM? I am only bringing this up because there is already a major redundancy in your essays. All of your topics focus on the same discussion, this can pose a problem because the reviewer can get tired of reading about the same topic over and over and over again in different prompts. He is not getting to know who you are beyond your love for these 3 fields of learning. Each essay you write should strive to try and represent a different part of you when the topic pertains to a common prompt. That means that it is not "major" centered. This is a written interview so you need to shake it up and change your focus every so often. Just as you would in a regular face to face interview.
While this essay is sheer perfection yet again, the reviewer does not see you constantly overcoming any other obstacle except sexual discrimination. We need to avoid boring the reviewer with your topics. If he sees that you have discussed the same topic for 3 or more essays, you are risking him simply skimming the beginning of your essay and not really paying attention to what you have to say anymore because you always say the same thing in 100 different ways.
Sorry if I am blunt about this, but I am trying to improve your chances by showing varying facets to your life experiences, life abilities, and life direction in general. We are overly focused on STEM, Math, and Computer Science at the moment and it could really get tiring , boring, and repetitive for the reviewer to read.