Holt Educational Consultant
Oct 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Learning language by children is very beneficial. It is my essay for IELTS writing task 2 [6]
Abdullah, your response does not make too much sense in terms of reasoning and logic. Your presentation of each reason does not really create a valid reason for your belief in the benefits of learning a language from an early age. Take for instance your discussion about learning about other cultures and gaining from that experience. I am not sure how to process your reason because you did not clearly explain how having friends in other countries or obtaining a profitable experience from this justifies early language learning. You need to better develop your reasoning skills. Even in the academic side, there is a sense of confusion when you use the term "strange books". What exactly are these books that you consider strange? I can understand how your classmate had an advantage over the others in a common sense way that does not relate to your line of reasoning. Your final reason though, is flawed as not all jobs require one to have knowledge of a foreign language in order to be employed. Unless you are seeking employment in a call center. So you should rethink that particular part of your essay and revise it as necessary. Your conclusion is acceptable enough though and is actually the only part of your essay that currently makes proper sense.
Abdullah, your response does not make too much sense in terms of reasoning and logic. Your presentation of each reason does not really create a valid reason for your belief in the benefits of learning a language from an early age. Take for instance your discussion about learning about other cultures and gaining from that experience. I am not sure how to process your reason because you did not clearly explain how having friends in other countries or obtaining a profitable experience from this justifies early language learning. You need to better develop your reasoning skills. Even in the academic side, there is a sense of confusion when you use the term "strange books". What exactly are these books that you consider strange? I can understand how your classmate had an advantage over the others in a common sense way that does not relate to your line of reasoning. Your final reason though, is flawed as not all jobs require one to have knowledge of a foreign language in order to be employed. Unless you are seeking employment in a call center. So you should rethink that particular part of your essay and revise it as necessary. Your conclusion is acceptable enough though and is actually the only part of your essay that currently makes proper sense.