Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate [26,494] - page 353 of 442

Undergraduate

Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays (page 353)

Threads | Replies
"Short Answers + Best Advice" - Brown Supplement

2 - I actually really like it. I think that it sounded really great.. but it did sound a little cliche...

UndergraduateiRunShow - Dec 26, 2009 / joosunggrace - Dec 27, 2009
'Responsibility shapes me' - Code honor-(Trintiy College essay)

3 - ...set of strict principles that define what honorable conduct for individuals. BEFORE you write this sentence, introduce...

Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 1, 2010
Brown essay on advice

2 - Hi, I think you should elaborate more on how you "walked the path" in the second paragraph. you could...

Undergraduateleslery - Dec 26, 2009 / daft123 - Dec 26, 2009
Purdue College Education and goals

4 - Sorry for being out of topic. I was wondering if i write that i will come back to my...

Undergraduatedaft123 - Dec 26, 2009 / nafis9 - Jan 8, 2010
"I presented to the Judges about the case" - MIT CREAVITY QUESTION

4 - HOWEVER, ALSO IT SAYS THE PROJECT YOU LED OR ANYTHING, ANY IDEAS TO END...

Undergraduatenaruto - Dec 26, 2009 / naruto - Dec 27, 2009
elaborate on one of your activities (150 words) What are you writing about?

6 - Thanks. I submitted my application. Sadly I realized a little to late that I forgot to write...

UndergraduateJd87rh - Dec 26, 2009 / Jd87rh - Jan 4, 2010
'the red shield logo' - Macalester supplement essay-why mac?

5 - Hello dingpx! Nice to meet you! Your name must be 丁** :-) Thank you for your constructive...

Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 26, 2009 / yf8651 - Jan 11, 2010
Drawing and painting - MIT pleasure essay

9 - If you're confused I think the best thing to do would be to move on to your other application...

Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 26, 2009 / theAbraham - Dec 26, 2009
Common Application: My sister

4 - Interesting introduction. Try to keep the same flow in the next paragraphs. To do that, describe more vividly, use...

Undergraduatedanielhe - Dec 26, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 27, 2009
Johns Hopkins Supplement - Why Public Health?

4 - I agree, it sounds as if u hav taken the decision to study public health in a few minutes,...

Undergraduatematerial_sloth - Dec 26, 2009 / FarhanWasim - Dec 29, 2009
How to approach Amherst Supplement on Science

19 - Thank you for your help! One question though...I always gets antsy about grammar. Should my last sentence have...

Undergraduatetwizzlestraw - Dec 26, 2009 / twizzlestraw - Jan 1, 2010
University of Pennsylvania optional supplement (the good old autobiography)

3 - And so you, the readers, would have guessed that I was intelligent, determined boy when I started the 2-year...

Undergraduatez4evafoolz - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
"education is useless because it dulls our personalities." required supplement

15 - I think that the essay is much better than before. Its more focused than before. Could it be better...

Undergraduatez4evafoolz - Dec 26, 2009 / Dbarrows1 - Dec 27, 2009
Common App Essay: Topic of your choice- "Spreading My Branches"

6 - How crazy it is that people actually chanted "keep the white house white." I think that if you are...

Undergraduatenikisfalling - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
"Time is ticking." - Johns Hopkins Supplement ----

5 - Change that to feel instead of feels. What I learned in that fifty-five minute class period changed...

Undergraduatemal_nerak - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Cornell - The environment blurs into a sight of indistinguishable colors and shapes

10 - i'm sorry if i can across as harsh, you have some serious skills as a writer, you really do,...

Undergraduatetkkt1 - Dec 26, 2009 / srandhawa - Dec 27, 2009
my father, Who has Influenced me. Princeton's Essay.

5 - Thank you all SOOOOO much VERY very helpful, and not too harsh at all, thank you very much. made...

UndergraduateDevataa - Dec 26, 2009 / Devataa - Dec 26, 2009
UPenn: Acadamic Communities

5 - I actually liked the first paragraph. I think it really shows that you have done your research, which further...

UndergraduateTimMill - Dec 26, 2009 / rzj123 - Dec 26, 2009
"I was a hard worker and a good athlete" - my essay fo Boston University

4 - I see that you capitalized "It" by mistake.. but... it must just be a typo. I'll add...

UndergraduateMCqueen - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
CORNELL CAS Supplement Essay- Cheating on Humanities!?

7 - okay, I reorganized some of the paragraphs. Someone told me they didn't like the affair metaphor, and then someone...

UndergraduateMasterus - Dec 26, 2009 / Masterus - Dec 27, 2009
"I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot" --Princeton essay

4 - I don't think it is enough to just take a stab at the quote at the end. College will...

Undergraduatextremewishes - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
"Music and sport..." - My common application essay...

17 - I agree with hern255...the list of qualities in the beginning is a bit "blah".. keep in mind that the...

Undergraduatepoisonivy - Dec 26, 2009 / KW3EN - Jan 4, 2010
U Chicago essay (my own prompt) "Are you free?"

7 - This sentence is a little awkward, because of the way you use priceless and financially. I think...

UndergraduateNonSequitur - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Question about the CMC leadership essay

4 - i think your teacher is just fine. using examples about the whole school would make it seem bigger while...

UndergraduateElmersGlue - Dec 26, 2009 / Ayshaya - Dec 30, 2009
Common App:Personal Statement (Am I portraying the right image?)

5 - I enjoy good smelling hair, and, in all seriousness, I can never decide whether "lemongrass" or "strawberry smoothie" smells...

Undergraduateparanormale - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Caltech - interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering.

4 - I really enjoyed your essay! I'm also working on my CalTech essay right now. One piece of advice...

Undergraduatewallacethedog - Dec 26, 2009 / FakeWingZ - Dec 30, 2009
"every man is a piece of the continent" - Trinity supplement essay

2 - I think that this sentence weakens the piece. A better opening sentence here would be to jump directly...

UndergraduateSSYQ - Dec 26, 2009 / LewisClark13 - Dec 28, 2009
"Why" + "Paid work experience" - My Syracuse essay..

5 - I finished the last one.. any thoughts? thanks so much for your help to the people above!! 3. Our...

Undergraduatedestiny_g212 - Dec 26, 2009 / destiny_g212 - Dec 30, 2009
Tell us about an engineering idea you have...

4 - This is too much of a leap from one subject to another: The size of the emissions in the...

Undergraduatefearless9 - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
"the department stores on Fifth Avenue" - Williams Essay

6 - I love this essay. I think you have accomplished precisely what Williams is looking for, perhaps you could include...

Undergraduateguitarbfour - Dec 26, 2009 / cmg12 - Dec 29, 2009
Common App Essay about Crust Punks

3 - Add some commas: As I became better acquainted with the crusties, I began to... I like taking...

Undergraduatecgnolan - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
"Playing as a goalkeeper" - MIT pleasure essay (100 words)

8 - Add a comma: But that is the beauty of a soccer match, because once I shoot the ball beyond...

Undergraduatemarigandi - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Mac essay-Macalester College supplement about diversity

6 - Is one of your friend named 甚至？ This essay generally looks good, related to the cultural diverse, but...

Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 26, 2009 / dingpx - Jan 11, 2010
Rice University: cultural/unique life experiences essay

5 - The heat is intense, my knee length (how about a different adjective? "knee length" makes the reader wonder if...

Undergraduateepirote901 - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Skidmore supplement response - why a good match?

2 - I think your essay is a little bit too broad and general. You know, because of the word limit...

Undergraduatehbrad8002 - Dec 26, 2009 / yf8651 - Dec 26, 2009
Short answer activity--volunteering at nursing home.

7 - ok this wayy better than your last prompt ok again stick to one tense e.g "However, I got...

UndergraduateAlibaba - Dec 26, 2009 / umulbaneen - Dec 31, 2009
"attraction towards Mathematics" - MIT admission essay

13 - It is excellent! It does show all the passion you have for mathematics. I am also applying for MIT,...

Undergraduatemjellma - Dec 26, 2009 / molecule - Dec 28, 2009
The Body I Love - University of Chicago Extended essay

2 - Hello Zee again :) Epiphany is spelt like that <----------------- SinceWhen I was much younger, I was...

Undergraduatezainob - Dec 26, 2009 / z4evafoolz - Dec 26, 2009
Common App Essay: What have you learned? (Topic of Own Choosing) - feedback

4 - Also, no need to capitalize "as"...in the distant future as strange as my "speculation fixation" may sound, speculation is...

Undergraduatebryanwildekim - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Trinity College essay (how will u free the mind of prejudice)

2 - I even disliked foreigners because... ...I discovered many things, of which I had known little. The colorful...

UndergraduatePrettyBoyu - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 26, 2009
"I was born and raised as a bahun' - Commonapp Personal Essay

9 - Use a comma here: Was I an Australian kangaroo, or had I grown up becoming a Guinean one? ...

Undergraduateae_eye_are - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 31, 2010
'enthusiasm for economics' - JHU supplement - why did you choose the major(s)?

3 - Use a comma: Having lived in New Zealand for eight years, I was excited to travel to the United...

Undergraduatez4evafoolz - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Reed Supplementary - Why Reed Essay

3 - If you start like this, and you talk about always wanting to know the reasons for things, you...

Undergraduategroovy_newborn - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given, and why?

8 - Post it again once it's revised. :) I'll help make sure that all of the English makes sense!...

Undergraduatelinhexi - Dec 26, 2009 / owls - Dec 27, 2009
"my desire for learning?" - Why University of Chicago?

7 - I'm applying as an undergraduate too this fall 2010 :). I'll be waiting for your essay!...

Undergraduatezainob - Dec 26, 2009 / z4evafoolz - Dec 26, 2009
Common App Activity Essay : Splash or Mozart Vs Beethoven?

7 - xtremewishes Yes I am sacking the music linkage!!I'll make it more to the point!! @Simrath Yes...

UndergraduateAkshat - Dec 26, 2009 / Akshat - Dec 27, 2009
Common Application Personal Essay - Diversity and How can I benefit from.......

6 - This sentence is hard to understand beuse it tries to give more information than it can. I will fix...

Undergraduatejjchan1991 - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
Accountancy as my major, UIUC essay~ Academic Interest and professional goals.

3 - Well, in the beginning, you say you chose accountancy because it is aligned with your goals, and then, all...

Undergraduatehubiqrr - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 30, 2009
What I Carry reflect my many obsessions - Tufts voice essay

7 - did you read The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien? Same kind of idea, very cool. I like your...

Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 26, 2009 / hehalter - Jan 2, 2010
"WHY JHU and WHY Biomedical Engineering" - JHU Supplement

4 - I'll be honest, this just seems to clique esque. I could honestly pick up what the essay would be...

UndergraduateiRunShow - Dec 26, 2009 / srandhawa - Dec 26, 2009
[Rice] What will I bring to diversity? [I need some guide!]

6 - Well friend, The things you have mentioned are really good but you really need to show how you...

Undergraduatejoonghoon5 - Dec 26, 2009 / molecule - Dec 28, 2009
Need Help on Personal Essay (supplement for Columbia)

7 - UCC recently began a Harkness Table style of teaching in select courses to promote class discussions and spur interest...

Undergraduateunclesamv - Dec 26, 2009 / unclesamv - Dec 30, 2009
Duke Supplement Essay - Why Engineering and why Duke

3 - Let's fix this intro: ...about becoming one thing: an Engineer. More specifically, I wanted to be an Inventor. ...

UndergraduateBlessedHands23 - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
Common Application Personal Essay - Photography and North Korea

5 - This is really well-written, as everyone before has already said. Anywhere else, it was so easy for me...

Undergraduatecarloshk - Dec 25, 2009 / AMehj - Dec 26, 2009
biology, physics, and engineering, JHU- why this major, why JHU essay

5 - Thank you for your advice iRunShow. I know what you mean when you say that I should make the...

Undergraduatecybertron - Dec 25, 2009 / cybertron - Dec 26, 2009
"Oh... sometimes things happen." Something that didn't go as planned - MIT essay

8 - This is really great, I really like the detail you gave on Susan and Brian, it made me feel...

Undergraduaterzj123 - Dec 25, 2009 / mokie257 - Dec 26, 2009
Common App Short Answer - Xiangqi (Chinese Chess)

6 - delete "value mistake" or move it before "value...." if you would like to....

UndergraduateEsaias - Dec 25, 2009 / funoffan - Dec 26, 2009
Cornell CAS - The Fantastic Theatrical Five-Year-Old

9 - Thanks for the tips, guys! :) I'll definitely expand on the evolution thing, and work on refining the other...

UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Dec 25, 2009 / Ivy_Equestrian - Dec 28, 2009
Instilled Certainty - My Supplement Essay for Princeton University

5 - Also, for the essays/statements asking why you want to attend such and such university, if I feel that I...

UndergraduateBreeaC - Dec 25, 2009 / BreeaC - Dec 26, 2009
"My Reasons for DUKE and Engineering" - Duke Supplement

6 - Thank you rzj123 and srandhawa. I will try to make it less mechanical and add more to Duke....

UndergraduateiRunShow - Dec 25, 2009 / iRunShow - Dec 26, 2009

Home / Undergraduate

Writing
Editing Help?
✖
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳