|Home / Writing Feedback [24,889] - page 163 of 415|
|Harshness on Television Delivers Some detrimental Impacts for Children
2 - There is an inclining level of harshness that has been seen on television. There is a view that...
Writing Feedbackerin24 - Jan 29, 2016 / sharfina - Feb 1, 2016
|TV programs, which contain extreme force action, hold negative effects on children's interaction
Writing Feedbackwahyutri13 - Jan 29, 2016 / mennaemad - Jan 29, 2016
|Changes in the proportion of different people who visit Zoo, Library, Theatre, and Cinema
2 - Hello, i quite understand the structure of your essay , and i clearly see that it is highly build...
Writing Feedbackamrillahmk31 - Jan 29, 2016 / mennaemad - Jan 29, 2016
|'teen brawls, raping, and deviant behaviour' -Violance On Television And Children's Behaviour
2 - In this advance ADVANCED technology era, television is ... I strongly agree that it is affected to the...
Writing Feedbackfariz10 - Jan 29, 2016 / amrillahmk31 - Jan 29, 2016
|The influence of violence scenes in television for children and their behavior
2 - Hi Miftah, You have several advance words on your essay, However, I see that your conclusion is not...
Writing Feedbackamrillahmk31 - Jan 29, 2016 / fariz10 - Jan 29, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD TAKE A JOB BETWEEN SCHOOL AND UNIVERSITY
4 - uncommon chunking word. quote=Riiskacha03]Having a job after graduate from school will help them their mature and...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 29, 2016 / tiaDS - Jan 30, 2016
|There is no excuse for authorities to restrict the unpaid public rights-education and healthcare.
2 - Sholihin, first things first. Your opening statement is confused, does not use the correct word descriptors for your essay...
Writing Feedbacksholihin84 - Jan 29, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|IELTS Task 2 : THE INFLUENCE OF SOPHISTICATED MEDIA on people in a relationship
3 - (Try to use hook in beginning of your sentence, so people will be more interest) It is generally assumed...
Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 29, 2016 / Saputra Putra - Jan 31, 2016
|People are extremely straightforward in creating a close relationship and maintain it in a good way
3 - Muhammad, when you give an example such as Eid Mubarak and Christmas, in support of the discussion that implies...
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 29, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 31, 2016
|Lecture points and statement about cars; Integrated Writing Task & Independent Writing Task of TPO 4
Writing FeedbackCrystal812 - Jan 29, 2016 / — -
|The happiness of people with "married" status is clearly greater than another in the all age group
2 - ... in particular the blissfulness of PEOPLE who have married ... ... people with married status is clearly greater...
Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 29, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 29, 2016
|Recently, some people prefer to build new job field instead of involving themselves in a company
2 - Hi Awe!! I would like to highlight the thesis statement on your writing. ... Even though there are...
Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 29, 2016 / Mardy17 - Jan 29, 2016
|Electronic media, through their services, can create a great relation between people
2 - advanced technology takes a significant part in human's life, since it encourages people harmful for their reciprocal lives, since...
Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 29, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Jan 29, 2016
|Media needs to air a program reporting ordinary people which has more value for everyone
2 - media have a pivotal role for inhabitants → in ordinary people which (who) have more valuable lesson...
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 29, 2016 / Crystal812 - Jan 29, 2016
|Writing Task 2: Most successful inventions do not rely on complicated technology.
Writing Feedbackswara86 - Jan 28, 2016 / Crystal812 - Jan 29, 2016
|Prejudice of Personality by Experience : Can We?
3 - ... clothes which are worn by inhabitants PEOPLE represent their true colors CHARACTERS... This essay will discuss...
Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|Many people prefer to open their own job field rather than enroll to a corporation or organisation
2 - Although this may brings a de merit, as wepeople need longer time to earn money(...)starting a business has some...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 28, 2016 / nuni11 - Jan 28, 2016
|Becoming familiar with a foreign language at primary school gives more advantages for children
3 - Nowadays (this word is already used in many writing, just try to be different), as children are part of...
Writing Feedbackerin24 - Jan 28, 2016 / Saputra Putra - Jan 31, 2016
|It would be better to introduce the foreign language in primary school rather than in secondary
Writing Feedbackfariz10 - Jan 28, 2016 / swara86 - Jan 28, 2016
|The formal training for the children is good to develop their attitude and behaviour in the future
2 - Details: The formal training such as formal public school becomes a choice for many people to enroll their...
Writing Feedbackfariz10 - Jan 28, 2016 / Crystal812 - Jan 28, 2016
|Encouraged sense of competition and taught to co-operate become more useful adults
NEW - Question: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who...
Writing Feedbackwahyutri13 - Jan 28, 2016 / — -
|It is assumed that children should learn foreign language at primary school than secondary school
NEW - QUESTION: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school...
Writing Feedbackamrillahmk31 - Jan 28, 2016 / — -
|It believes that children should be taught to be good parents at their ages.
2 - - Confusing sentence, not a good comparison for a parallel sentence. - *themselves* - Responding to an essay...
Writing Feedbackamrillahmk31 - Jan 28, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Jan 28, 2016
|The Advantages and Disadvantages of Taught Foreign Language to Children at Primary School
Writing FeedbackPey28 - Jan 28, 2016 / swara86 - Jan 28, 2016
|A report on the poor conditions of the school cafeteria
2 - Hello Pine, Your solution in this case is awesome. You may need a plan to realize your solutions and...
Writing FeedbackPinkyTune - Jan 28, 2016 / wahyutri13 - Jan 28, 2016
|More efforts have to be applied on how to address unhealthy behaviour in children.
5 - Hi Sir, here my suggestion to you .. since your task is agree or disagree and you already have...
Writing Feedbacksir99 - Jan 28, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Feb 20, 2016
|We should adopt a prudent attitude towards new comrades and rely on proved friends
Writing FeedbackCrystal812 - Jan 28, 2016 / cinrb2312 - Jan 31, 2016
|Both parents and schools hold the roles for children healthy lifestyle
2 - Prompt: Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both of schools and parents are responsible for solving this...
Writing FeedbackBunglon11 - Jan 28, 2016 / sntinn - Jan 28, 2016
|The cause of unhealthy lifestyle among youth generation
2 - ... parents and teachers are to help HELPING their children's lifestyle. ... for instance, teachers are more likely to...
Writing Feedbackdesgit33 - Jan 28, 2016 / amrillahmk31 - Jan 28, 2016
|Children Should Begin To Learn Foreign Language At Primary School Rather than Secondary School
2 - In contemporary era, learning foreign language is an update trend for young children. As such, some convince learning...
Writing Feedbackfijarakbar25 - Jan 28, 2016 / irhame - Jan 28, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: SOME ORGANISATIONS BELIEVE THAT THEIR EMPLOYEES SHOULD DRESS SMARTLY
2 - On the other side others believe that their worker WORKERS "it applies to all" have ... ... determine someone's...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 28, 2016 / amrillahmk31 - Jan 28, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 - MASS MEDIA SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ORDINARY PEOPLE
4 - Your paragraph in support of your point of view regarding the media attention being showered on celebrities explains your...
Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 28, 2016
|[IELTS TASK WRITING] The Comparison of Economic and Social Indicators of Four States
3 - You did not format the report summary properly. When you write yout thesis statement, you must provide a description...
Writing Feedbacksholihin84 - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 28, 2016
|'level of blissfulness' - IELTS TASK 1 : HAPPINESS RATING CHARTS
3 - ... information about the blissfulness HAPPINESS level of individuals who have ARE EITHER married and OR still single, ...group,...
Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 28, 2016
|Topic: Rewards & Productivity (Integrated Writing) Need guidance. My test is 2 weeks away from today
3 - Umm, my essay is for TOEFL ibt test, Writing Section Question 1- Integrated Writing I really don't think that...
Writing Feedbackcyrussth - Jan 28, 2016 / cyrussth - Jan 28, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2: The advantages and disadvantages of taking a job between school and university
6 - Working for a while provides a large opportunity for young people you cannot use for a while here,...
Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 28, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Jan 28, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 having a job prior entering to university has many benefits
5 - ...getting valuable experiences regarding with working atmosphere(...)the payment during working is unsuitable with theirof work is less than their...
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 27, 2016 / nuni11 - Jan 29, 2016
|IELTS TASK 1 : CAREER RELATIONSHIP AMONG WORKERS - officers' responses
Writing Feedbackichatea07 - Jan 27, 2016 / ichatea07 - Jan 28, 2016
|The obligation of official training for children, to become proper parents, is not working.
3 - While the essay you present is based on logic, you have not considered one very important piece of information...
Writing Feedbackerin24 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|Some claims that planting the idea of competition in children's life is an obligation
Writing Feedbackfariz10 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 28, 2016
|By undergoing two different types of experience, children know how to be a better person
2 - Hi there! Overall, this is a great essay with clear direction and well-expressed ideas. There are some mistakes however,...
Writing Feedbackamrillahmk31 - Jan 27, 2016 / puykcyt - Jan 27, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 - School Should Provide Formal Training For Students To Be Good Parents
4 - I like the intersting idea in your passage. However, there may be a few grammer mistakes. itmay beappears...
Writing Feedbackfijarakbar25 - Jan 27, 2016 / Crystal812 - Jan 28, 2016
|There is nothing more important than your satisfaction from work
NEW - TOPIC: Some people say that job satisfaction is more important than money when it comes to selecting a career....
Writing Feedbacksamuel830209 - Jan 27, 2016 / — -
|Receiving the formal education at young age can benefit young population
Writing Feedbacksntinn - Jan 27, 2016 / AAORA - Jan 30, 2016
|Competition will alter the survive skills, which are absolutely important in human life. IELTS
3 - Hi Pey, I see that your introductory paragraph did not have any stance. Clear stance in the beginning is...
Writing FeedbackPey28 - Jan 27, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Jan 27, 2016
|Being children means learning every aspect of life. The competition and cooperation is no exception.
3 - Muhamad, I have a sense that you did not totally respond to the prompt in this essay that you...
Writing Feedbackfijarakbar25 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|The cause of increasing violent crime among youth generation
2 - Desy, you have argued this prompt in a highly informative manner. Your approach to the discussion is by far,...
Writing Feedbackdesgit33 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|The Merits and Drawbacks of Take Break Before Continuing University For Young People
Writing Feedbacknuni11 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|Tolerance and sympathy are more crutial than a truth.
Writing FeedbackCrystal812 - Jan 27, 2016 / wahyutri13 - Feb 8, 2016
|Children's sense of rivalry should be stimulated
NEW - Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who taught...
Writing Feedbackerin24 - Jan 27, 2016 / — -
|The air circulation in an accommodation, which affect room temperature and energy spent
4 - The diagram explainS about the air circulation in an accommodation HOUSE, which affectS THE room temperature and energy...
Writing FeedbackRiiskacha03 - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|The given diagram illustrates the ins and outs of air circulation in a house - prodigality of energy
Writing FeedbackMardy17 - Jan 27, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Jan 27, 2016
|IELTS TASK 2 - THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING A JOB AFTER GRADUATED IN HIGH SCHOOL
4 - I will give you a hand.. Actually you do not define clearly the young people that you discuss in...
Writing Feedbackawe_28 - Jan 27, 2016 / aflah15 - Jan 29, 2016
|Own business has more benefits for inhabitants as people can determine their own effort
3 - 1st paragraph ... be bankrupt and lack of fund they need to start a business... 2nd paragraph ......
Writing Feedbackilankelo21 - Jan 27, 2016 / Wanderson120 - Jan 27, 2016
|IELTS Task 1: The air circulation system in the 2-floor house
Writing Feedbackaflah15 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|Archaeology essay for my cousework
2 - Archaeological studies can objectively reveal and explain the stages of culture in a particular region Trowulan and contiguity and...
Writing Feedbackmasyhudi - Jan 26, 2016 / CollegeMe - Jan 27, 2016
|Essay about encouraged young people to work or travel between studies
4 - Thank you for your explanation and example. I will try to make that point in the future essay....
Writing Feedbackwiwin90 - Jan 26, 2016 / wiwin90 - Jan 27, 2016
|GRE - two different views from the extintion of blompus
2 - the extintion of blompus, an large, (do not use comma here) carnivorous land mammal. because first humans was not...
Writing FeedbackAlbertino - Jan 26, 2016 / Riiskacha03 - Jan 27, 2016
|A lot of cultures worldwide obligate married women to stay at home to look after the children
3 - the discussion presented mentions you having three reasons... Firstly, a working wife will give the family more financial security...
Writing Feedbackdavid2708 - Jan 26, 2016 / pao123 - Jan 27, 2016
|Some people think that advertising enhances the sales of a product that are unnecessarily needed.
2 - Reem, there are number of problems with your essay that have mostly to do with the way that you...
Writing Feedbacklolly pop - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|Home / Writing Feedback|