|Home / Writing Feedback [23,491] - page 235 of 392|
|The benefits of travelling for the traveller
4 - ... This is not a very clear sentence. The word "people" getting repeated too often and that confuses...
Writing Feedbackbehrooz_00133 - Oct 19, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 19, 2013
|Parents and adults should have a say in important decisions of teenage children
3 - Well... you need to give prominence to the reasons you use to back your position in the argument....
Writing Feedbackguisela - Oct 18, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 20, 2013
|It is certain that a country's success is built up by several factors
2 - ... it's not the quality, .... it is the status of economy or economic development/ progress ...
Writing Feedbackningo - Oct 18, 2013 / dumi - Oct 19, 2013
|Prevalence and Risk of Violence; Sex Trafficking in India
Writing Feedbackhaleyfister - Oct 18, 2013 / cactus2601 - Oct 20, 2013
|Friends and family have a lot of topics to talk together and sharing their opinion when watching TV
Writing Feedbackpppanta - Oct 18, 2013 / legend777 - Nov 10, 2013
|In some countries most of the people prefer to rent a house rather than buy one
7 - However, there are negative aspects toin renting a house. .... very good point :) In many instances,...
Writing Feedbackhello2hanson - Oct 18, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 19, 2013
|TOEFL INTEGRATED:The objectives of Dinosaurs' crests
Writing FeedbackJin Hyung - Oct 18, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 19, 2013
|It is important to have good person to be a good roommate - you have to stay with him for a while
2 - To begin with, a roommate should be a considerate person. If the roommate does not possess this quality...
Writing Feedbacksomething - Oct 18, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 20, 2013
|Choosing and wearing clothes by high school students
7 - .... try to have more prominence to the reason and then give more details about it; First, uniform...
Writing Feedbackelan - Oct 18, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 20, 2013
|IELTS: Born with talents or talents can be trained? Discuss both views!
Writing Feedbackstream_xu - Oct 17, 2013 / skynet0512 - Oct 20, 2013
|Most of the people do not have adequate knowledge of the place they are traveling to
Writing Feedbacklegend777 - Oct 17, 2013 / dumi - Oct 20, 2013
|TOEFL Essay about capital punishment
6 - I agree with legend777. You display very good writing skills, however, you need to adopt a good essay...
Writing Feedbackhamed_vali68 - Oct 17, 2013 / dumi - Oct 20, 2013
|IELTS;A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure
2 - ... Why did you have a capital "I" for that word (irrespective)? The primary function of every government...
Writing Feedbackshiva sai - Oct 17, 2013 / dumi - Oct 20, 2013
|"Driven by idea of the 'common good'" ; Constitution of May 3
2 - Using sentence structure/ writing accurately - Varied and sophisticated sentence structures used to impressive effect - Uses a...
Writing Feedbackleslav - Oct 17, 2013 / 98_IIG - Oct 24, 2013
|Negative effects of small vehicles; Persuasive Essay
2 - What would be the first thing an immigrant would notice aboutin Toronto? There is no doubt, it...
Writing Feedbackcontigo - Oct 17, 2013 / dumi - Oct 20, 2013
|compare-contrast b/w mother and father;Really need some help;20% part of grade
3 - There are several ideas crowded in this one line sentence. Better re-organize them; One needs money to provide...
Writing FeedbackBisasa - Oct 16, 2013 / dumi - Oct 24, 2013
|Small age kids have fresh brains, they are curious and grasp things easily.
2 - Throughout your essay, I find some disturbance in your presentation of ideas. I don't say your sentences are grammatically...
Writing Feedbacktushar241319 - Oct 16, 2013 / dumi - Oct 16, 2013
|TOEFL - Children managing their own money - best way to learn responsibility
8 - No problem ;)...
Writing Feedbacklegend777 - Oct 16, 2013 / legend777 - Oct 17, 2013
|Schooling helps kids to learn socialism and other important lessons - in school
Writing Feedbacktishca2013 - Oct 16, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 20, 2013
|Banning of smoking in public places; "Smoking is injurious to health"
2 - Try not to use questions in the intro and use facts or history(However, do not use defintion) First, details...
Writing Feedbacktishca2013 - Oct 16, 2013 / amymaria - Oct 16, 2013
|IELTS - Do the benefits of globalization outweigh the drawbacks?
2 - This is a good body paragraph where you explain the reason as to why you take that position in...
Writing Feedbackjoylabx - Oct 16, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 19, 2013
|TOEFL Government is not necessary since we can redress many problems by our own.
5 - .... hey.... you've got to be careful with your spellings because they also are an important aspect of...
Writing Feedbackelan - Oct 16, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 19, 2013
|IELTS; Schools should provide practical knowledge and skills to students
Writing Feedbackjoylabx - Oct 16, 2013 / ravenet - Oct 16, 2013
|Increased fees affecting demand for University degrees
Writing FeedbackCJA - Oct 15, 2013 / CJA - Oct 22, 2013
|Some people think that parents should teach children ; INTRODUCTION
5 - Education is one of the major factor that directly impact on beinga person becoming a good member of society....
Writing Feedbackbehrooz_00133 - Oct 15, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|Should animals be used to research?
Writing Feedbackamymaria - Oct 15, 2013 / amymaria - Oct 16, 2013
|Human Cloning is the creation of a lab human or test tube baby!
Writing FeedbackNiuWang - Oct 14, 2013 / NiuWang - Oct 21, 2013
|Banning of Smoking in Public Places; 'smoke free environment'
6 - Hi tishca2013 - You cannot expect others to provide feedbacks on your writing when you post your essays...
Writing FeedbackVashAng - Oct 14, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|Why tommy douglas is the greatest Canadian?
2 - In my view, Tommy Douglas was the most outstanding Canadian although many may vote for Terry Fox. Fox,...
Writing Feedbacksheryarali - Oct 14, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|Students' academic skills strongly reflect how their teacher helps them to promote their performance
5 - Thanks to help me. If you possible, Can you give me any writing tips? and give me score (full...
Writing FeedbackJintastic - Oct 14, 2013 / Jin Hyung - Oct 19, 2013
|TOEFL: Which do you prefer: do only what you already do well, or not.
2 - When you use use the word "you" and "your" alot it sounds like you are accusing the person. Try...
Writing Feedbackyusukexo - Oct 14, 2013 / anoopam - Oct 14, 2013
|Soon people who cannot work with computers will be disadvantaged- IELTS
Writing Feedbackravenet - Oct 14, 2013 / ravenet - Oct 22, 2013
|IELTS: more and more pollution and waste are created everyday
7 - As this is one of your body paragraph, I think you should focus on one consequence of pollution and...
Writing Feedbackleoking - Oct 14, 2013 / MisterWandering - Oct 15, 2013
|Family environment is the base for the children to be good members of society
3 - The family environment is the base for the children that parents should work hard to raise their children on...
Writing FeedbackNadaish - Oct 14, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 14, 2013
|The Rise of the Indus River Valley Civilizations essay
5 - Egypt and Mesopotamian civilizations possess lots of written evidence. However, in case of the Indus River valley not...
Writing Feedbacksheddy - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 24, 2013
|Some teachers and parents suggest that rivalry between children should exist, while others don't
8 - In your body paragraphs, you should justify your opinion by giving reasons. And then you should support them...
Writing FeedbackGulala - Oct 13, 2013 / dumi - Oct 23, 2013
|'political stability': Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth
Writing Feedbackadhikaribabita - Oct 13, 2013 / ravenet - Oct 16, 2013
|IELTS: Task 2 Gender differences in work
2 - Hey... I think you have posted the wrong essay... your topic talks about children obeying rules and your essay...
Writing Feedbackpijiuwdw - Oct 13, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 13, 2013
|[TOEFL] Always better to do the shopping in the big shopping mall
3 - You summarize your statement at the end of each paragraph. Like: It clarifies your position and helps...
Writing Feedbacksimonlee726 - Oct 13, 2013 / yusukexo - Oct 14, 2013
|Work place or research updates will help universities in showing direction to educate students
9 - Hi dumi, Anyways once again thanks a lot to dumi and pahan, that was a great learning experience. I...
Writing Feedbackshiva sai - Oct 13, 2013 / shiva sai - Oct 14, 2013
|IELTS: 'optimum utilization of available resources' - Inequality between rich and poor nations
6 - Thank you everyone for your suggestions. Please suggest me an introductory line for this task. I am not able...
Writing FeedbackJoohi24 - Oct 12, 2013 / Joohi24 - Oct 14, 2013
|New restaurant? My neighborhood would become more prosperous and people living here would be happier
5 - In this set up, all the restaurants would need to change their current strategies in attracting clients for...
Writing Feedbackmusicariel - Oct 12, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 14, 2013
|'International Baccalaureate senior' - Tell us about yourself
Writing FeedbackElementary11 - Oct 12, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 12, 2013
|TOEFL WRITING: In 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books any more.
6 - As a result, somebodysome people states that, students will not use printed books any more after 20 years ...
Writing FeedbackKaren Zhang - Oct 11, 2013 / dumi - Oct 15, 2013
|I was waving goodbye to the life I had for 16 years/Transition from Childhood to Adulthood
5 - I like it! It's really great. The ONLY thing I would say is switch one "alive" to something else,...
Writing Feedbackrp2013 - Oct 11, 2013 / tayleeb - Oct 20, 2013
|TOEFL writing: governments should spend as much money as possible on IT?
3 - I really appreciate your comment. It'll definitely help me improve my essay and a writing skill....
Writing Feedbackyusukexo - Oct 11, 2013 / yusukexo - Oct 14, 2013
|IELTS Writing Task 1: Graphs ; Actual number of houses constructed in UK 2002
Writing FeedbackJoohi24 - Oct 11, 2013 / Joohi24 - Oct 12, 2013
|Live in the same climate or changing climates? Which one do you prefer?
5 - Thank you....
Writing Feedbacksomething - Oct 11, 2013 / something - Oct 18, 2013
|TOEFL- The opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people?
Writing Feedbacksimonlee726 - Oct 11, 2013 / dumi - Oct 11, 2013
|IELTS WRITING TASK 1: THE TABLE/ Actual Vs Estimated house construction
5 - Likewise, 8100 houses were estimated to be constructed in the Central England, which was half the figure for...
Writing FeedbackKalyn17992 - Oct 11, 2013 / MisterWandering - Oct 13, 2013
|IELTS 9 Test 4 - Languages die out every year......... Is this a positive trend?
6 - Oh, there should be one more sentence in the introduction. I am inclined to support fewer languages. ...
Writing Feedbackstrongwillow - Oct 11, 2013 / strongwillow - Oct 13, 2013
|'Rabindranath Tagore'; Children should be educated at home by their parents
Writing FeedbackJoohi24 - Oct 11, 2013 / gmad06 - Oct 16, 2013
|IELTS; rejecting public educational system would not be better
4 - Yes.... both Pahan and MisterWandering are trying to align your introduction with the task requirements. I remember providing...
Writing Feedbackfahadbd - Oct 11, 2013 / dumi - Oct 14, 2013
|Doing the same job for whole life, is it challenging?
2 - As per the human nature , no matter how lucrativeinteresting and well paid th e job is, people may...
Writing Feedbacktishca2013 - Oct 10, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 11, 2013
|Essay: Schools problems with student behavior.
Writing Feedbackmerurino - Oct 10, 2013 / dumi - Oct 11, 2013
|Despite having few harmful consequences, Internet has a positive effect on the society.
4 - English_Learner I think it is better to bring the negative part to the second paragraph so that you...
Writing FeedbackEnglish_Learner - Oct 10, 2013 / phuoc - Oct 31, 2013
|"Patrick walked into the room and spotted sandy sitting alone"
4 - Patrick walked into the room and spotted sandySandy sitting alone. He walkswalked up to her and very nervously asked...
Writing FeedbackAnelis123 - Oct 10, 2013 / dumi - Oct 24, 2013
|Studying abroad has become a very common phenomenon in the modern world - globalisation result
Writing Feedbackdewploy - Oct 10, 2013 / dewploy - Oct 15, 2013
|IELTS; As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role
3 - What is the reason you try to tell that can justify your position stated in the introduction? I...
Writing Feedbackfahadbd - Oct 10, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 10, 2013
|IELTS: who should responsible for elderly?
6 - On the other hand, people should act more responsibly when they are young and energetic and should save...
Writing Feedbackleoking - Oct 10, 2013 / Pahan - Oct 11, 2013
|Home / Writing Feedback|