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|'applying to several different schools is the better choice' -essay on college choice
2 - You follow the expected structure of TOEFL essays. Your introdutory para is great in which you give a brief...
Writing FeedbackShali95 - Jun 25, 2012 / dumi - Jun 25, 2012
|Is it right to exclude females and males from certain professions because of gender?
2 - Good argument, but the essay is missing clarity and flow. I have fixed some of the grammatical errors, but...
Writing Feedbackmik2202 - Jun 25, 2012 / jaybird88 - Jun 25, 2012
|Fixed punishment for each type of crime? DISCUSS
NEW - Fix punishments Fix punishment for criminal behaviours is a very controversial debate, which has two sides. One group...
Writing Feedbackmppaniz - Jun 25, 2012 / — -
|'our friendship is not selfish' - my paragraph on my best friends
Writing Feedbackmilkyunique999 - Jun 25, 2012 / medapplicant12 - Jul 10, 2012
|the age of the competition - IELTS - technologies and the demand for services change
6 - It has become a new /trend/ (requirement ) to learn more than one skill for (successful) career. In this...
Writing Feedbackdnile2012 - Jun 25, 2012 / deepakbaniya - Jun 26, 2012
|Student can be severely influenced from school by unsuitable schedules and stresses
5 - @land1111: Thanks for your comments. What do you mean by the first sentence: "but your opinion does not off...
Writing FeedbackPhat Tran Van - Jun 25, 2012 / Phat Tran Van - Jun 26, 2012
|'women are special weak group' - IELTS - EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS
NEW - Thank you for you help! UNIVERSITY SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT....
Writing Feedbackland1111 - Jun 24, 2012 / — -
|New Perspective On Environmental Solution.
2 - Scientists have been proposing numerous possible solutions in arresting growing environmental problems ,such as global warming, air pollution, water...
Writing Feedbackdottedbow - Jun 24, 2012 / deepakbaniya - Jun 24, 2012
|'There are convincing factors for not wasting money on Space Exploration' - IELTS
2 - .... .Beside above reason the unknown goals of space exploration projects is another challenge. it is highly acceptable that...
Writing FeedbackAlicesh - Jun 24, 2012 / dottedbow - Jun 24, 2012
|'linking rising accidents to fatigued workers' - GRE Argument
5 - I agree. It gives smooth transition to other following ideas. Thank you Jan K Shenouda for your advice !...
Writing Feedbackdeepakbaniya - Jun 24, 2012 / deepakbaniya - Jul 6, 2012
|'The goal isn't to live forever' - Toefl Essay
4 - His death has affected the people as much as its impact will affect the kingdom. Prince Nayef Bin...
Writing FeedbackJawaher - Jun 24, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jul 5, 2012
|IELTS: Indoor or outdoor teaching.. to get valuable results
3 - If you take off the part "for everyone" then this sentence reads better. The reason is when you...
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 24, 2012 / dumi - Jun 24, 2012
|Too much reliance on technology will impede people from becoming successful and independent leaders
Writing Feedbackviviana15077 - Jun 24, 2012 / viviana15077 - Jul 21, 2012
|IELST : Letter : Complaint letter regarding work problems
3 - because it not only given--> gives it also provide--> provides I found difficult--> I found it difficult was missed.-->...
Writing Feedbackchwong - Jun 24, 2012 / kissingyou0912 - Jun 24, 2012
|The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Truth of Antibiotics
2 - Overall I like the topic you chose and how you prevented it. Your use of citations from other references...
Writing Feedbackkat110 - Jun 23, 2012 / sco2185312 - Jun 24, 2012
|'met hundreds of people' - need help on conclusion and more detail
2 - However, only a special few have had the ability tocould make an impact that will last a lifetimeon...
Writing Feedbackjalilt - Jun 23, 2012 / dumi - Jun 24, 2012
|Teenagers should work without a salary to help the local community?
4 - Good topic and thought process. Some schools in the Northern US require teens to provide 75 hours of community...
Writing FeedbackAlicesh - Jun 23, 2012 / Monkey2012 - Jun 24, 2012
|IELST : spent money on space exploration is a complete waste of time
2 - which needs to spend---------- activity needs, activities need yet its discoveries may not necessarily bring in...
Writing Feedbackchwong - Jun 23, 2012 / dumi - Jun 23, 2012
|THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION (beneficial for society on the whole)
4 - Thanks emily and dumi. perhaps I will add another paragraph about the effects of children who are not educated...
Writing Feedbackkissingyou0912 - Jun 23, 2012 / kissingyou0912 - Jun 24, 2012
|'Strokes' - Mental Illness Bipolar Disorder
2 - While working with individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I've learned... Complete and proper diagnoses of mental illnesses, symptoms...
Writing FeedbackLAK2061065 - Jun 23, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 23, 2012
|TOEFL Ess; development of housing or industry is also profitable but not healthy
4 - Thank you so much Duminda..:) That was very useful... I will try to insert that sentences and rewrite...
Writing Feedbackana_p - Jun 22, 2012 / ana_p - Jun 25, 2012
|PROSTITUTION: WHAT CAN BRING IF IT IS BEING LEGALIZED?
5 - "So why dares to promote prostitution?" Are you trying to say "who" dares to promote prostitution ?...
Writing Feedbackniesaysi - Jun 22, 2012 / Monkey2012 - Jun 24, 2012
|'I firmly object to it' - IELTS - Capital punishment is necessary or not ?
Writing Feedbacksnowqueen93 - Jun 22, 2012 / snowqueen93 - Jun 24, 2012
|Hope is the buoy of life
Writing Feedbackkashifalvi - Jun 22, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 28, 2012
|Toefl: 'I can accumulate wealth' - purchase either a house or a business
3 - Prefer therefore or hence to so; that will make the essay more official. You can also use some great...
Writing Feedbackkrishnakant - Jun 21, 2012 / echo5016 - Jun 28, 2012
|Should drug companies make their drugs more available for third world countries?
2 - I go through your last two paragraphs. I feel that content is less its better if you can elaborate...
Writing Feedbackmae - Jun 21, 2012 / krishnakant - Jun 22, 2012
|IELTS: Primary, secondary and further education - Free high education?
NEW - Hi all, I am trying my best to improve my writing everyday. Thanks in advanced for everyone's help ...
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 21, 2012 / — -
|TOEFL Essay: Popularity of movies in all over the world.
4 - Thanks both of you Susan and Colin. Susan: Thanks especially for this particular sentence "movies are one...
Writing Feedbackana_p - Jun 21, 2012 / ana_p - Jun 22, 2012
|IELTS - In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
3 - Thanks for your help!!!! As this essay may be asseseed in the real IELTS test, I would appreciate...
Writing Feedbackcolin - Jun 21, 2012 / colin - Jun 21, 2012
|IELTS - 'Parents should shoulder responsibility of teaching their own children'
Writing Feedbackcolin - Jun 21, 2012 / colin - Jun 21, 2012
|Essay on iImportance of electricity in people's daily routine
Writing Feedbackkissingyou0912 - Jun 21, 2012 / kissingyou0912 - Jun 22, 2012
|'UK student income during ten-year period' - IELTS table
Writing Feedbackchinhbk - Jun 21, 2012 / ah_zafari - Jun 22, 2012
|IELTS: A complaining letter to the bank ('ordered a new cheque book')
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 21, 2012 / hadi1981 - Jun 21, 2012
|'the fundamental activities for the patriory' International sporting, easing tensions
2 - Hi chwong. You should pay attention about Ielts words limit, otherwise u will loose serious markes. Good...
Writing Feedbackchwong - Jun 21, 2012 / hadi1981 - Jun 21, 2012
|'equally in every subject' - univerities to accept equal numbers of males and females
3 - "Education is the right of every student". Though this is a known fact, still the girls are not allowed...
Writing Feedbackhima bindu - Jun 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 21, 2012
|Personal Essay- Kathak, a classical Indian dance
Writing Feedbackkarina23 - Jun 20, 2012 / snaacks - Jun 20, 2012
|'Driving with distractions' - course essay on texting while driving
2 - Looking down from the road for a second seems harmless, but not when driving involves full attention. Deborah...
Writing Feedbacktyquinslim - Jun 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 20, 2012
|Essay on attraction of traditional style of developing countries
2 - Their cultures and traditions are ... Moreover, by increasing in number of tourists the government of tourism not...
Writing FeedbackMriytunjay - Jun 20, 2012 / janney143 - Jun 20, 2012
|'lived with my parents' - my IELTS Inviting letter practice.
2 - Recently, we have moved into our new house, which we bought two years ago. Don't leave all that space...
Writing FeedbackStarry - Jun 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 20, 2012
|'action on environmental conservation' Re-write paragraph in suitably academic style
3 - I think the paragraph pertains to environmental pollution; as such, you might want to include "air" along with land...
Writing FeedbackPhone - Jun 20, 2012 / Mustafa1991 - Jun 20, 2012
|Spanking kids isn't all good
3 - Spanking children has been a practice for many centuries. Infact,it is hard to imagine a time when children were...
Writing Feedbacksrtheesa - Jun 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 21, 2012
|MY ANXIETY BEYOND THE QUEST (and Philippines)
Writing Feedbackniesaysi - Jun 20, 2012 / EF_Susan - Jun 20, 2012
|Both parents work, bad or good??
8 - Nowadays, it is very common that both parents in a family go out to work. Some people believe...
Writing Feedbackhungvud - Jun 20, 2012 / Slim shady - Jul 7, 2012
|Discuss both views - impacts of music
NEW - Topic: Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings...
Writing Feedbackjanney143 - Jun 20, 2012 / — -
|'My sister and I' - Comparison/Contrast essay.
3 - I feel like it needs something.. just not sure what! I have been staring at it for hours trying...
Writing Feedbackradair101422 - Jun 19, 2012 / radair101422 - Jun 21, 2012
|Fall of birthrate and increase in the age of person 65 and over by 2030
NEW - The birth rate in most developed countries is predicted to begin to fall over the next 50 years. By...
Writing FeedbackMriytunjay - Jun 19, 2012 / — -
|IELTS - 'choosing own career by young people'
3 - Like (someone says) --> I think it is As, not like Vividly --> vivid believed --> believe the people...
Writing Feedbackzhangyebiaoba - Jun 19, 2012 / kissingyou0912 - Jun 23, 2012
|IELTS ESSAY2: English is the primary foreign language.
5 - Hi Dumi, Thanks a lot for your help, however maybe it would better if make the introduction as follows:...
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 18, 2012 / hadi1981 - Jun 19, 2012
|prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime
Writing FeedbackRini - Jun 18, 2012 / dumi - Jun 19, 2012
|'perception and life stages' - Why is happiness difficult to define?
5 - Are you following the traditional American essaystructure??I think you should add some information in your conclusion.it would be great...
Writing Feedbackprettylana - Jun 18, 2012 / srtheesa - Jun 20, 2012
|ESSAY IELTS2: separate classes in gender bases category.
2 - The ministry of educationiI n some countries, is claimed to separate boys and girls study togetherinirrespective of gender...
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 17, 2012 / dumi - Jun 17, 2012
|IELTS- Discussion & Opinion about an essay on how the new sport objects impacting people's health.
5 - hi wellwell! it is really good job, keep it. you have enough source of academic words and it is...
Writing Feedbackwellwell - Jun 17, 2012 / Slim shady - Jun 27, 2012
|what cause some students to cheat in their exams
Writing Feedbackbsm25 - Jun 16, 2012 / dumi - Jun 18, 2012
|IELTS: Children to play Outdoor or Indoor?
NEW - Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside...
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 16, 2012 / — -
|Those who make the room clean and dirty are more successful in the future.
3 - Hi, just some suggestions about the introduction: For the time being, an increasingAs time passes the number of...
Writing FeedbackPrisunny - Jun 16, 2012 / ah_zafari - Jun 16, 2012
|"Prevention is better than cure," functions of governments
4 - Yes... you need to have a conclusion. Sum up everything you said above and re-instate your opinion. :)...
Writing Feedbackpipi2082 - Jun 16, 2012 / dumi - Jun 16, 2012
|More and more young people are turning to drugs. reasons and solutions
Writing Feedbackkissingyou0912 - Jun 16, 2012 / kissingyou0912 - Jun 21, 2012
|benefit to unpaid teenager and local community
6 - Of course, there is no strict rule for writing, and different people have different writing styles. But, in...
Writing FeedbackMriytunjay - Jun 16, 2012 / ah_zafari - Jun 16, 2012
|IELTS Task 2 'man should share evenly household chores'
Writing Feedbackzhangyebiaoba - Jun 16, 2012 / hadi1981 - Jun 16, 2012
|IELTS: Stop smoking in public places, life is a circle between before and after
3 - the use of earth is not appropriate. It would be better to point more specific things such as...
Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 15, 2012 / ah_zafari - Jun 16, 2012
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