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|Making efforts to ask questions inspires students to thinks critically
5 - Encouraging students to ask also contribute extended information or deeper thoughts about the lessons. This will make the lessons...
Writing Feedbackcalvinhmw - Jun 16, 2011 / 123nnt - Jun 24, 2011
|How you can make my favorite sandwich.(one eight sentence paragraph)
3 - Ha ha, Eric, you make EssayForum a better place with your participation.. thanks! I have to say... this...
Writing Feedbackcarsonleeallen - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|A beautiful girl at night time
Writing FeedbackJunie Rana - Jun 15, 2011 / Junie Rana - Jul 12, 2011
|Toefl: Children should learn to handle money - benefits for the whole society.
12 - In conclusion, letting children manage their own money will not only benefit children's lives but also benefit the whole...
Writing Feedbackcongcguoke - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jul 9, 2011
|Is romantic love a good basis for marriage? discuss
2 - Because of mosquitoes, we stay inside. If you use this kind of sentence, you can start with BECAUSE. However,...
Writing Feedbackexon25 - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|IELTS >More couples saying no to having kids
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|IELTS>major effect on personality:Characteristic we born or our life experiences?
Writing FeedbackParmiss - Jun 15, 2011 / Parmiss - Jun 17, 2011
|Should a prudent person conclude that science and religion are incompatible?
NEW - This is my first post, and my first ever formal writing paper. Feed back would be greatly appreciated. I...
Writing Feedbackcarsonleeallen - Jun 14, 2011 / — -
|"lucky social experience" - equal support for sport and social activities also classes and libraries
3 - Thanks for your help, and for your patience and advices, as you noticed that I have made some mistakes...
Writing Feedbackifournight - Jun 14, 2011 / ifournight - Jun 15, 2011
|Toefl ibt essay: Work in team or independently (preferable)
4 - Hey, I like that argument! This is a meaningful essay, because not everyone would agree with your argument. Yet,...
Writing FeedbackCoolmam9x - Jun 14, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 15, 2011
|Compare and contrast - knowledge gained from personal experience vs. classroom
2 - I think the word "creator" here should be in capital letter like what Ms. Khinie wrote because it...
Writing FeedbackkhinieR - Jun 14, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 16, 2011
|Is image more powerful than the written word? - ielts
Writing FeedbackGeenesh - Jun 13, 2011 / Geenesh - Jun 16, 2011
|Essay paper: Do you think it is possible to end extreme poverty. If so, how?
6 - This last paragraph shows that your concern is aimed at addressing poverty in the United States. But extreme poverty...
Writing Feedbackhiroshimi - Jun 13, 2011 / John_Champagne - Jun 16, 2011
|IELS> Creative artists to express their ideas should be restricted by government?
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 13, 2011 / Geenesh - Jun 13, 2011
|Universal Primary Education and Free the Children in Kenya (grade 11)
2 - Hi Anne, welcome to EssayForum! I hope you'll have time to help a few other students, because you write...
Writing Feedbackanntc - Jun 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 13, 2011
|" Time & Memory" a Narrative for University Fundemental Writing Class
2 - I like that intro!! You write well... I mustered up the lung capacity to murmur "Where's my cell phone?"...
Writing Feedbackmrperez4 - Jun 11, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 13, 2011
|Telling the truth is mandatory in a sound relationship?
7 - hey, EF_Kevin, thx ...i will follow ur advice and try to write more essay ...i will work hard, and...
Writing FeedbackECHOECHO - Jun 11, 2011 / ECHOECHO - Jun 13, 2011
|toefl writing: people holding different views cannot achieve success?
3 - Here is one more sentence that needs some work: Use this phrase: different ....from People with different views from...
Writing FeedbackJuliezhang9001 - Jun 11, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 13, 2011
|"My grown up Christmas list" song
8 - Yes! Contributing at EF is not about being an English expert. It's about adding some of your own energy...
Writing Feedbackviolonc_21 - Jun 11, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 18, 2011
|IELTS: should teachers be paid according to the quality of their teaching?
Writing Feedbackbadjeje - Jun 10, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 14, 2011
|[ IELTS ] Children should be encouraged to co-operate or to be competitve?
Writing Feedbackmikneiht - Jun 10, 2011 / mikneiht - Jul 8, 2011
|CBEST: Someone unforgettable (Dinesh)
NEW - Write about an unforgettable person whom you have encountered in your life? What made him or her special? How...
Writing Feedbackztoa - Jun 9, 2011 / — -
|Behavior Therapy (Psychology paragraph)
Writing FeedbackRosalin Becky - Jun 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|The rulers are well-educated; Directors of large companies receive big salaries
3 - Great thread here... thanks everyone! I noticed that realfog fixed an error with a common expression: "As far as...
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|Life and Art - Art immortalizes life.
3 - Hi Sarita, do you understand all of the corrections Ajit gave here? I like your ideas. It's interesting...
Writing Feedbacksarita Rana - Jun 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2011
|Goodbye AIDS? HIV-AIDS is an irremediable disease no more.
8 - Yep, that is what I always think people should do. Now we'll look for more mistakes to correct:...
Writing Feedbacklearner2 - Jun 8, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|"Narcissistic Personality Disorder" - "The Search" by Naguib Mahfouz.
2 - Right after this part, I think you should have a sentence that continues the theme you stated with...
Writing Feedbackcorralizas - Jun 8, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 10, 2011
|IELTS exam: Should children play or study?
6 - thank you all so much for the suggestions and corrections.. pls keep them coming so the next time i...
Writing Feedbackbadjeje - Jun 8, 2011 / badjeje - Jun 8, 2011
|IELTS - Several languages are in danger of extinction
Writing Feedbackhaitom - Jun 7, 2011 / haitom - Jun 8, 2011
|Social contact affecting health status of older people
NEW - could you tell me which one looks better for the name of the paper as following; Named1: The...
Writing Feedbackpondjung - Jun 7, 2011 / — -
|should school child be limited on the hours of watching tv program and movie?
4 - . If the child is addicted to these entertainments and spend at the second paragraph, you can use 'children'...
Writing FeedbackJuliezhang9001 - Jun 7, 2011 / winniesun - Jun 12, 2011
|"main target is education" - attend college or university for many different reasons.
4 - Thank you very much for dumi and EF_Kevin, now I am learning lots of skills from you and your...
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - Jun 7, 2011 / dhammika1973 - Jun 14, 2011
|Essay about love: why love is important in life?
2 - The love is a feeling of completeness that comes from treating others as part of our self, and love...
Writing Feedbackfisal - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 8, 2011
|People, events that change the way you're thinking
Writing FeedbackKathyLala - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2011
|An Unforgettable Dream (marriage and death)
9 - Well, maybe it meets the requirements for submission, and maybe not. But when I first read this I really...
Writing FeedbackRosalin Becky - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 12, 2011
|"Grandmother from a small town": Write about an old person in your family
6 - I imagine the four of you sitting across a picnic table one can often see on college campuses in...
Writing Feedbacksejima - Jun 6, 2011 / Rajiv - Jun 7, 2011
|Country's technology versus traditional skills - IELTS
Writing Feedbackjennychen - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 9, 2011
|Essay: Most writers of fiction do not earn enough money to live from their writing.
3 - Reading is the important factor of our knowledge and also it is helpstous conduct our life style. Any reading...
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - Jun 6, 2011 / dumi - Jun 8, 2011
|Essay about Notepads that changes school life
Writing FeedbackZacharyHero - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 16, 2011
|Mass media means a bridge between people in different places
6 - I'll fix it by adding WHILE: However, while some of these bring benefits for us, there are also bad...
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 11, 2011
|IELTS>Safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority?
4 - Due to the developed living standard in the world's richest countries, an enormous amount of products are discarded when...
Writing Feedbackwinniesun - Jun 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|Better to be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? TOEFL
5 - Usually, if you use IN MY OPINION, you should make a general statement afterwards: In my opinion, it is...
Writing FeedbackFatimaTOEFL - Jun 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|How to fund community recreational services (increase taxes?)
Writing Feedbackthrollen - Jun 5, 2011 / throllen - Jun 7, 2011
|"The rose of desert" hotel - description of a place I don't recommend
3 - For this part, you can also use a capital T: ...most part: The taxi driver was uncommonly pleasant, and...
Writing Feedbackpiinka - Jun 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|Do we value only what we struggle for? - SAT practice
Writing Feedbackpianosaremusic - Jun 3, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 5, 2011
|About students and the difficulties they face, how to overcome - Cbest Essay
Writing FeedbackElsie - Jun 2, 2011 / dhammika1973 - Jun 4, 2011
|My Essay on the Advantages and the Disadvantages of Studying Abroad
4 - Thank you very much EF_kevin! I really appreciate your kindness. I like helping others with English as much as...
Writing FeedbackKwSalem - Jun 2, 2011 / kusanagi1981 - Jun 6, 2011
|ESSAY:"The arts reveal the otherwise hidden ideas and impulses of a society."
Writing Feedbackgetgetget - Jun 2, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 7, 2011
|Compare the changes of an area during the years and predicted planning in the future
2 - I'll ad a comma to this compound sentence: According to the first picture, there were only a few...
Writing Feedbackyoyolo - Jun 2, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 4, 2011
|Impact of technology on how people interact with each other
6 - Thanks, Kevin! I got 6.5 in writing band in IELTS, which is a big improvementm and I will continue...
Writing Feedbackiamzj - Jun 1, 2011 / iamzj - Jun 18, 2011
|Essay: Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems.
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - Jun 1, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 2, 2011
|"Reasons vary for people to attend college" - Practice TOEFL
Writing FeedbackFatimaTOEFL - May 31, 2011 / FatimaTOEFL - Jun 2, 2011
|Toefl intergrated writing task: Experiments on animals
3 - Hey, I like your communication style... very engaging. I don't think this is the place to start...
Writing FeedbackCoolmam9x - May 31, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 2, 2011
|Essay: We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - May 31, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 6, 2011
|In North Korea it is illegal to question people in authority, thus its most corrupt country in world
4 - This sentence might need some revision: The vast majority of societies around the world is largely dependent upon people...
Writing Feedbackjhyoon430 - May 30, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 1, 2011
|"the Gerald Clayton Trio" - Music Appreciation Essay
7 - Thank you for the pointers! I made the necessary corrections and am ready to print and submit - again,...
Writing FeedbackFayette287 - May 30, 2011 / Fayette287 - Jun 2, 2011
|Essay: Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others.
4 - During the school day, students need to study, which is the main target, but unfortunately there are some students...
Writing Feedbackdhammika1973 - May 30, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Jun 2, 2011
|America's ignorance towards Pakistan supported terrorism.
7 - My teacher in school told me to become a technocrat- n not an engineer- i always have his description...
Writing Feedbackkshinu - May 29, 2011 / ajit88rai - Jun 2, 2011
|IELTS - do arts and music improve the quality of life?
2 - My view is that the government should give priority to investing more money in the basic social welfares, such...
Writing Feedbackyoyolo - May 29, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 30, 2011
|An unforgettable survey from my childhood (or "I should be a teacher too")
4 - Welcome to EssayForum, Harun!! I'll make some suggestions below: People have many childhood experiences to enrich their lives....
Writing Feedbackhrnkls - May 29, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 30, 2011
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