|Home / Writing Feedback [23,910] - page 379 of 399|
|Help with a paragraph about marketing claims
Writing FeedbackFizzi - Jun 4, 2009 / Fizzi - Jun 5, 2009
|Socials Essay: Robespierre and Cromwell Which is a more effective leader?
7 - Your main problem is that you are comparing these two people in terms of the effectiveness of their leadership,...
Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Jun 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 4, 2009
|a pretty short story, Return of satan
5 - Some minor fixes for you: "and argued that Satan was damned forever and he would never deserve to...
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Jun 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 3, 2009
|Test essay: Should children obey authority?
7 - Others think controlled children are not well-prepared for children's adult life into make the important decisions of their lives...
Writing Feedbackxinyuqingxin - Jun 2, 2009 / ferocious12 - Jun 4, 2009
|IELTS essay : Nowadays majority of people are trying to live in the cities
6 - You have a decent essay structure, and while you do have some grammatical errors, they tend not to interfere...
Writing Feedbackferocious12 - Jun 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 8, 2009
|"the disparity (gap) between rich and poor" - sample writing
4 - I like the way you focus on the difference in the two camps' views of wealth. The redistributionists subscribe...
Writing Feedbackcarladguez - Jun 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 3, 2009
|ielts essay - Useing animals for the benefit of the human beings
4 - Simone makes an excellent point -- you haven't presented any compelling arguments for your thesis. Making your case shouldn't...
Writing Feedbackxinyuqingxin - Jun 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 2, 2009
|ielts essay: should governments pay university course fees?
3 - This is better than your other essays, as it has a clear thesis with some decent reasons to back...
Writing Feedbackxinyuqingxin - Jun 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 2, 2009
|itels essay: should children learn foreign language from elementary school?
7 - To sum up, though teaching the elementary school students foreign languages pose a threat to thehas risk for the...
Writing Feedbackxinyuqingxin - May 31, 2009 / ferocious12 - Jun 2, 2009
|April's first day essay - A Quick Grammer Check
5 - My bus driver continues that, if anyone thinks he/she can't do it just tell him. It kind of tempts...
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - May 31, 2009 / ferocious12 - Jun 2, 2009
|Random weightlifting reflection piece.
3 - I'd say you should flesh out the essay a bit more, possibly adding narrative elements to the beginning and...
Writing FeedbackMond - May 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 31, 2009
|I came to knew about Jesus at young age; My salvation testimony - kindly edit.
Writing FeedbackAlfred - May 31, 2009 / Alfred - May 31, 2009
|'useless in applying theories'; Daily homework is not necessary for students
Writing Feedbackeric_ly - May 30, 2009 / eric_ly - May 31, 2009
|People should read only those books which are real events& real person
10 - It's really difficult to make a determination on that without actually seeing the essay. In general, grounding your essay...
Writing Feedbackbiggestv - May 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 2, 2009
|Critical essay about Persepolis.
2 - Persepolis is such a wonderful book! I'm glad to have this opportunity to review an essay about it. I...
Writing Feedbackannedoherty - May 29, 2009 / EF_Simone - May 29, 2009
|Journal essay (welfare state)
Writing FeedbackGeoff - May 28, 2009 / justivy03 - Apr 9, 2015
|People want stay healthy. Health is must to enjoy the life to the fullest.
7 - Notoman, That is such excellent advice!! Thank you for participating so actively in peer editing. That's what makes this...
Writing Feedbackbiggestv - May 28, 2009 / EF_Simone - May 29, 2009
|Australian Gold Rush: Introduction writing
16 - Hey Notoman, thanks for mentioning the plagiarism detector. I knew such software existed, but I didn't know there was...
Writing Feedbackjgv115 - May 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 14, 2009
|If you could invent something new, what product would you develop? (TOEFL essay)
Writing Feedbackbiggestv - May 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 28, 2009
|Essay on the legal drinking age
Writing Feedbackkokujampo - May 25, 2009 / biggestv - May 28, 2009
|Causes of Global Financial Crisis
3 - While moderating here, I have often found myself recommending three books over and over again: Stechen King's On Writing,...
Writing Feedbackferocious12 - May 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2009
|WPE --The minimum wage in the U.S.
5 - Yes, that's the one. You know that there are reasons to increase minimum wage (protect workers from exploitation)...
Writing Feedbacksapst21 - May 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 26, 2009
|[TOEFL ESSAY ] Should the Government Provide Free College?
Writing Feedbackrjsdndi - May 24, 2009 / rjsdndi - May 25, 2009
|History, Royal Engineer essay.
6 - You also need to work on integrating your quotations better. "The following quote proves my point" is a horrible...
Writing Feedbackeddy9898 - May 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 28, 2009
|Toefl: Is this good enough to get 24 score in writing section.
3 - Aye, the more concise the better, as multiple writers have noted. However, your fix for the sentence changes his...
Writing Feedbackbiggestv - May 23, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 24, 2009
|Clep essay-Laws should not be rigid or fixed. Instead, they should be flexible.
4 - Your essay is very general and need specefic examples. Your grammer still need improvement. so I think to improve...
Writing FeedbackIndian - May 22, 2009 / biggestv - May 27, 2009
|TOEFL - Prefer to work for a large company; good material rewards
7 - Actually, it is generally a good idea to avoid labeling your conclusion with one of those phrases. It should...
Writing Feedbackwing - May 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jun 6, 2009
|CLEP English Comp. -- "That Government is Best Which Governs Least"
5 - Essay is very nice, I am also planning to take the same test. Your essay helps me knowing some...
Writing FeedbackTWRTW106 - May 21, 2009 / Indian - May 22, 2009
|School bus trip - a story
4 - Better yet, write the story so that the theme emerges from it without your protagonist having to reflect on...
Writing Feedbackceberus - May 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 23, 2009
|VIETNAM PAPER- Why did we lose?
3 - So, did all of Asia fall under communist rule? Or did the U.S. involvement in Vietnam prevent that?...
Writing FeedbackSmartFelix - May 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 21, 2009
|Essay on Rating TV Shows and Movies
6 - The main objection to the rating system is that the ratings may not reflect what parents think they do....
Writing Feedbacknick94 - May 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 31, 2009
|English Comprehension Clep exam - essay to practice
2 - Maybe the tasks other people give us to do are just as difficult . In the next few paragraphs,...
Writing Feedbackakfir - May 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 21, 2009
|TOEFL Essay-It can be quite difficult to learn a new language.
7 - I agree with Kevin -- you will pass! Learning a new language is generally enjoyable but at the...
Writing Feedbackwickyeden - May 18, 2009 / EF_Simone - May 23, 2009
|War -- victor or no victor? 2
45 - Yeah, I'm going to keep a low profile in classes where there aren't multiple choice tests, from now on....
Writing FeedbackMustafa1991 - May 18, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Jun 11, 2009
|nothing wrong - Young people are less interested in studying than in earning money
Writing Feedbackceberus - May 17, 2009 / ceberus - May 20, 2009
|Mercutio's importance to the plot and theme - Romeo and Juliet
Writing FeedbackGebraroest - May 16, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 17, 2009
|"People of MTV generation have no patience. They want instant satisfaction." 2 3
84 - The notion of a dull terror inspiring frenzy is sort of neat, if a bit paradoxical. Or perhaps it...
Writing Feedbackshe_kitty - May 16, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 4, 2009
4 - You might also wish to avoid random capitalization: "Eggs, milk and cheese where just a few of the...
Writing FeedbackPeterV - May 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 19, 2009
|'manned spaceflight and education' - CLEP TEST ESSAY
3 - Your essay seems to focus more on what happened before your trip into outer space, and on how...
Writing FeedbackPeterV - May 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 17, 2009
|Need your corrections for agumentative paragraph ("my supervisor")
Writing Feedbackkyleighgrace - May 14, 2009 / kyleighgrace - May 17, 2009
|Essay about violence and violent behavior in the Media
3 - I notice you seem to use a lot of paraphrasing in your essay, with few direct quotations. Some direct...
Writing Feedbackttc1234 - May 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 14, 2009
|Do you support it or not? A mall construction in your neighborhood
6 - I don't think because it is your neighborhood, you necessarily own own your living space. What if you're renting...
Writing Feedbackadalumi - May 12, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - May 14, 2009
|What are the differences between life in America and life in Third World nations
14 - Great, they'll be lucky to get your feedback. I had a Spanish teacher once who pointed out how much...
Writing FeedbackRhadames - May 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2009
|Iranian Revolution Recounted in Persepolis
2 - This seems to start in media res. You need to work on situating the events you describe in context....
Writing Feedbackbanannax - May 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 12, 2009
|Feedback for my essay on Philosophy Paper relating to parfits personal identity
3 - Unlike the de-connecting of hemispheres, and reconnecting them, and then suddenly having the stream on consciousness connect, you would...
Writing Feedbackhketek - May 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 12, 2009
|Detecting Deception Based on Nonverbal Behaviour Cues:a literature review
2 - I don't see any grammar mistakes, but I can tell you're lying by analyzing your sentence structure! No,...
Writing Feedbacklialia - May 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2009
|CHANGE or AVOID CHANGE? Which is better?
4 - It's interesting that you are honest and not at all ashamed about being mediocre. Since you said something interesting,...
Writing Feedbackkirin - May 10, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - May 15, 2009
|The New Great Depression
4 - Great ideas from Sean; and Marcel explained a problem better than I could have: overly colloquial. What a great...
Writing FeedbackDan - May 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 10, 2009
|"How must we change our lifestyles to meet the threat of global warming?"
6 - Thanks for this help, i am now feeling more confident on constructing this essay and it may lead me...
Writing Feedbackantondude - May 9, 2009 / antondude - May 12, 2009
|Reflective Essay On This School Year: "Closed Doors Are Not The End"
6 - Ah, you get to workshop this essay a bit, then, do you? It's always nice when teachers let you...
Writing FeedbackBabiix - May 6, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 8, 2009
|"The Contested Terrain of Media Text and its Effects on Contemporary Culture"
3 - This is a fascinating subject. I notice you didn't mention that the world of 24 had an America governed...
Writing Feedbackgudjuju22 - May 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 8, 2009
|CLEP Practice Essay - effect of computers on work now versus 100 years ago
4 - Thanks so much. My intro was much longer in draft with a better hook and a more specific example...
Writing Feedbackabryant - May 5, 2009 / abryant - May 6, 2009
|Essay on advantages of computer games
16 - To make your essay a bit stronger in view point you could list a few well known negative views...
Writing Feedbacktara11 - May 5, 2009 / maextra7 - May 26, 2009
|"Our desire to conform is greater than our respect for objective facts." - Essay
15 - Yeah, I know what you mean. They have their purpose. Still, I am often surprised at how much better...
Writing Feedbackx0vicksz - May 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 7, 2009
|"The Masque of the Red Death" by Edgar Allan Poe Research Paper
Writing FeedbackLunasly - May 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 4, 2009
|"Bad Boss" Essay - selfish, hypocritical, harassing, malice, poor communicator.
Writing Feedbackinsidecars - May 2, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 3, 2009
|My attitude towards writers is mostly positive. Writers have creative and imaginary minds.
10 - It will be impossible to completely eliminate the use of "I" in an essay on this sort of topic,...
Writing Feedbacksally12 - May 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 4, 2009
|Write about a belief you have and the pros and cons of it (online writing essay)
Writing Feedbackplugging_along - May 1, 2009 / plugging_along - May 1, 2009
|Archimedes; "Eureka!" essay
10 - Hmmm . . . what exactly were the assignment instructions? If you are just writing a biographical piece, you...
Writing FeedbackFreedomMoto - Apr 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - May 5, 2009
|IELTS writing: email and text messaging threats written language
6 - hi, i do not think the disadvantages of email and text message rest with the weakened position of...
Writing Feedbackmarine - Apr 30, 2009 / kirin - May 10, 2009
|Home / Writing Feedback|