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|Help with a letter (Joe Lawry)
3 - The numbering of your comparisons at the start of your essay seems a bit odd, too. Really, why wouldn't...
Writing Feedbackrandysnyc - Feb 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 6, 2009
|Midsummer Night's Dream Character Essays
5 - Better. Now, take all of the references you make to specific passages [Act 2 scene I line 30-35 ,...
Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Feb 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 22, 2009
|Taking courses of more than one subject prepare students for a broad spectrum of careers
7 - Also, you could add that exposure to a wide variety of topics develops certain general learning skills that make...
Writing Feedbackcici510988 - Feb 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 6, 2009
|Experiencing a rescue just in time
Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
|Analysis of an Art Piece, Creativity of Re-Use essay
3 - Hey now, I remember that formal analysis involves a specific set of instructions, probably given by your teacher. Here...
Writing FeedbackSomeone18 - Feb 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
|Critic my "Education" essay
3 - It can be used to advance oneself to a successful career; many college students are doing just that, but...
Writing Feedbackbluek7 - Feb 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 19, 2009
|Thesis Statement About My Goals (semi-pro football)
Writing FeedbackGHouse - Feb 17, 2009 / GHouse - Mar 19, 2009
|Not Mr. Towers, he and his family watched TV; Narrative Essay
8 - Adding dialogue would also be a great way to add more conflict. Perhaps at the beginning of your essay,...
Writing FeedbackCTowers - Feb 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 24, 2009
|wording problems in a paragraph
6 - I originally meant to write "not get what I want," and have edited my original post to reflect that....
Writing FeedbackNoob in writing - Feb 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 18, 2009
|How many money was spend on different forms of entertainment over a five - year period.
Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 17, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 19, 2009
|Thesis Statement About Things I Like
Writing FeedbackGHouse - Feb 16, 2009 / arbennett - Feb 17, 2009
|English Class -- persuasive essay -- School Uniforms
3 - Hey, now! You can have an upbeat attitude while wearing your soccer uniform,or any other uniform associated with...
Writing Feedbackdrasagon - Feb 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 17, 2009
|Yet another essay on television...
6 - This is very good, you have alot of talent. I wish my teacher let me write first-person, or even...
Writing Feedbackakern - Feb 15, 2009 / drmemo - Feb 20, 2009
|Honours Social Work (privilege, power)
5 - I will discuss the P.C.S levels of power drawn on by Foucault's interpretation of power together with an understanding......
Writing Feedbacknaomi - Feb 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 16, 2009
|We should discuss the balance of the life quality and the powerful tourism
Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 15, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 17, 2009
|Geo Project - Vehicles in the Lower Mainland
3 - Hi Pedro, The conclusion should be tell how this all adds up. After you researched the work that...
Writing Feedbackvipao - Feb 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 15, 2009
|Essay on Education In Developing Countries
8 - I just noticed something else. When you quote a source in MLA, put the " marks before the period....
Writing FeedbackMakeAnImpact97 - Feb 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 12, 2009
|Essay On Comparisons of Trials and Their Respective Jury Proceedings
Writing FeedbackSeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 17, 2009
|PERSONAL ESSAY what books and reading mean to me
5 - Knowing I will soon enter into the life of a University student -- if I get accepted, that is...
Writing Feedbackhannahkim91 - Feb 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 13, 2009
|"I was running" essay. Grammar and punctuation help.
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 11, 2009 / newsha31 - Feb 15, 2009
|The first time i crossed the road by myself
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
|Essay: A Crab in the Sand
5 - I loved this essay. You do a fantastic job of letting the reader know what exactly was going on....
Writing FeedbackJoey11235 - Feb 11, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009
|Essay: Who is more important in the family? Mother or Father?
Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 11, 2009 / GHouse - Feb 17, 2009
|Living a simple but meaningful life is a lifestyle which you must choose.
7 - Thank you. I did make many revisons and changed the thesis around. I restrcured the essay and narrowed my...
Writing Feedbackjasonmuraira - Feb 10, 2009 / jasonmuraira - Feb 12, 2009
|Help rewriting Lead paragraph and Conclusion - Computer History Paper
12 - History is definite? Really? You can't find any example of disagreements among historians on any topic whatsoever? Lol! Everything...
Writing Feedbacktycheongster - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 19, 2009
|Short Essay on Modern day televison watching.
5 - YES! That is a great way to explain it: Find the way your points are interconnected, and the transitions,...
Writing Feedbackakern - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 10, 2009
|All About Me, A COMPILATION OF MY THOUGHTS
Writing FeedbackSeanMasih - Feb 9, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 10, 2009
|Supposedly we, young people, are no longer interested in religion, and thus losing belief in God.
5 - To stay on topic, you might want to deal with the issue of belief. People who really believe in...
Writing Feedbackceberus - Feb 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
|Kouzes and Posner's practices within a leadership event.
3 - The essay seems on-topic to me. If the "five main practices" you mention in the intro have sub-steps, as...
Writing Feedbackharperme - Feb 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
|Essay on theories as to why one might be service orientated and others not.
2 - You might want to discuss what you mean by service-oriented a bit more. For instance, would you consider someone...
Writing Feedbackjenfkb - Feb 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 10, 2009
|If criminals have punishments that are not severe enough, it may encourage people to commit crimes
7 - hi thanks a lot...I rewrite this...it might be closer my opinion I find out my logic sometimes very strange...
Writing Feedbackpamfan0810 - Feb 6, 2009 / pamfan0810 - Feb 10, 2009
|Essay on describing a scene in my life (that last time i saw my friends)
7 - For the hundredth time on that night my hand slipped down into my purse;... My heart calmed, although...
Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 12, 2009
|Domestic Abuse (persuasive essay)
3 - Wow, Sean gives really excellent feedback. To me, and perhaps to other readers, this is a valuable piece of...
Writing FeedbackTiffiny9880 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 6, 2009
|How does Singapore compete with emerging markets in attracting FDI
2 - Singapore has an open and export-oriented economy It is unwise to plan FDI strategy without taking trade into...
Writing Feedbackultraman365 - Feb 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 5, 2009
|Education Through My Eyes
Writing Feedbackmllaury - Feb 3, 2009 / mllaury - Feb 9, 2009
|TOEFL: 'the things are simple' - Childhood is the happiest time of people's life
3 - You may want to add more depth to your essay by considering the different types of childhood a person...
Writing Feedbackpope4e - Feb 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 3, 2009
|Grammar check for AOI paper (political struggles in history)
3 - Overall a good job. Some minor fixes, in addition to Kevin's: "In addition to that I have traveled...
Writing FeedbackTaka014 - Feb 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Feb 3, 2009
|Teachers should encourage their students to question everything - essay
Writing Feedbackdragon - Feb 2, 2009 / dragon - Feb 3, 2009
|Essay About Malcolm X
3 - After the collection of a great number of words, he had no problem understanding books, and thus he began...
Writing Feedbackmingbaau - Feb 1, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2009
|College Dropout Rates - vause & Effect Essay in 3rd person, need direction
5 - ""She had spent countless hours filling out admissions and scholarship applications, talked about all the details of campus and...
Writing FeedbackDenise - Jan 30, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 31, 2009
|USC Cinematic Arts Essay (Emotionally Intense Moment)
Writing FeedbackZagayer - Jan 29, 2009 / Zagayer - Jan 31, 2009
|Essay on empty space; I live a fast paced life
6 - If I went outside of my room, their laid the television... change to: there laid the television... ...
Writing Feedbackfitz1901 - Jan 29, 2009 / SeanMasih - Feb 12, 2009
|Introductory Paragraph: Mary Shelley and Frankenstein
6 - I would suggest starting with something more specific, instead of a general statement about personal triumphs and tragedy. Of...
Writing FeedbackInnocuity - Jan 28, 2009 / Zagayer - Jan 29, 2009
|Essay about a car incident
6 - First try to focus on maintaining the structure of the essay. I mean there should be introduction which clearly...
Writing FeedbackArmo - Jan 27, 2009 / quy - Oct 5, 2012
|Essay on different customs between the US and Korea
3 - Sean is right, this is a list of cultural differences. I know you aren't finished with it, but what...
Writing FeedbackDayna - Jan 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 27, 2009
|Feedback on the "Sound and the Fury" Passage analysis
6 - Oh, thanks for that. Yes i tried to make the sentence introduce the subject of having Dilsey being mislead...
Writing Feedbackjvmoose - Jan 27, 2009 / jvmoose - Jan 27, 2009
|"Living Through Death" - Jimmy; personal essay
Writing Feedbackcleanconscience - Jan 26, 2009 / cleanconscience - Jan 27, 2009
|""At present you need to live the question" -help with any grammar mistakes
Writing Feedbackjkigwe - Jan 25, 2009 / jkigwe - Jan 26, 2009
|Ref: Analisis of instructions and procedures.
3 - Here are some suggestions to get you started: "the power on/off button " "The second page displays...
Writing Feedbackfernaj13 - Jan 24, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 24, 2009
|ESSAY: SHOULD TUCK SHOP STOP SELLING "JUNK FOOD"?
5 - That's interesting about U.S.A. Today taking both sides... smart strategy! Speaking of editorials, my grandmother recently wrote an editorial...
Writing Feedbacknpxzs - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 25, 2009
|Nature and nurture essay research (GRE exam)
2 - It may be more accurate to say not that people inherited particular personality traits, but rather that people inherited...
Writing Feedbackavih - Jan 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 23, 2009
|Narrative Essay (what to be when you grow up) - I need critique
4 - Thank you for the help! I am actually planning to specialize in pediatric oncology : ) I actually follow...
Writing FeedbackBrinajada - Jan 23, 2009 / Brinajada - Jan 23, 2009
|By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal record; Introduction/ Essay on Bullying
3 - "By age 24, 60% of bullies have a criminal record." Also, do you know that 92% of statistics are...
Writing Feedbackcoollint - Jan 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009
|A Letter from Birmingham Jail (loaded words effectiveness)
5 - thank you all for reading it i appreciate it very much and will definitely make the adjustments you suggested!...
Writing Feedbackremembermo - Jan 20, 2009 / remembermo - Jan 25, 2009
|Oedipus the Tragic Hero
Writing Feedbackvkwang - Jan 19, 2009 / vkwang - Jan 20, 2009
|Several different ways in which colleges fail to prepare students for life.
7 - Using a solitary example weakens an essay that is supposed to discuss "Several different ways" of something, because it...
Writing FeedbackKayshel - Jan 19, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 22, 2009
|Tragic Hero in "Antigone" by Sophoceles- essay feedback
7 - The two parts of the prompt don't need separate paragraphs. The answer to (1) is "Creon." The answer to...
Writing Feedbackluckystar - Jan 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 26, 2009
|Great Expectations - Charles Dickens. Tension and suspense.
4 - You include a lot of plot summary and details that really have little or nothing to do with how...
Writing FeedbackViral - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 19, 2009
|GRE essay (Science and Art)
2 - Your essay lacks focus. It is not particularly clear what your thesis is, or what sort of relationship, if...
Writing Feedbackavih - Jan 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jan 17, 2009
|"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"; significant event or achievement
3 - Use a dash to separate these: "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" -- Albert Einstein Oh,...
Writing Feedbackvj_justin - Jan 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2009
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