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|Illegal Aliens and Their Quest to Stay in the United States
3 - You also need to set up some background in your intro. So, for instance, why not just grant everyone...
Writing Feedbackswatson - Jul 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 29, 2009
|[TOEFL] Global events
7 - "Nuclear" is an adjective. "Money crisis" ought to be "monetary crisis." Sometimes people do use a noun as...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 28, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 29, 2009
|Vimy Ridge,Day of Deliverance,Constitution Act;3 Defining Moments- Canadian History
4 - Okay, I suppose the analogy itself isn't so bad. But mostly, the intro consists of general statements that don't...
Writing Feedbackalicia15 - Jul 27, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 1, 2009
|The intellectual benefits of attending a university - advice my second GRE issue
17 - Thank you, Noto. I can understand the difference between great discoveries and the greatest discoveries. Your revision of the...
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 27, 2009 / mathsam - Aug 1, 2009
|[TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning.
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 27, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 29, 2009
|"working outside the academic world" - Advice for my GRE issue
2 - One of the strengths of this essay is its nuance. Your distinction between academic fields and the specific examples...
Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 26, 2009
|First Essay: How to Pick the Right Fights
4 - Your essay suffers from some ambiguity about what you mean by "fights." The title suggests that are you are...
Writing FeedbackTamzus - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
|The New Bus Driver
7 - You can find a fairly comprehensive list of racial epithets here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs Several of the terms listed are...
Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Jul 25, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
|Reasons why people listen to music
7 - I would recommend you to give specific genre of music that people would listen to relieve their stress from...
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 23, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 28, 2009
|workaholic; Spending money on taking vacation, travelling is better than saving
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 23, 2009 / trangquynh - Jul 23, 2009
|My best friend in elementary school; Friendship forever
Writing FeedbackLibra - Jul 23, 2009 / designingsally - Aug 1, 2009
|web designers use the techniques of human psychology and brain structure...
Writing Feedbackmbjaya999 - Jul 23, 2009 / mbjaya999 - Jul 24, 2009
|The benefits of technology versus the costs
Writing FeedbackJanie Tine - Jul 23, 2009 / Janie Tine - Aug 2, 2009
|Food Stands Vs Eating at Home = Convenience Vs Quality
8 - there are more and more people now choosechoosing food stands or restaurants instead of home when having a meal....
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 22, 2009 / ruonan59 - Aug 1, 2009
|How my gay father, family and community have shaped who i am today - uc prompt
Writing Feedbackx country 001 - Jul 22, 2009 / Janie Tine - Jul 29, 2009
|TOEFL---"the young people should plan or organize."
3 - Can you imagine that a house is built without a plan or a house plan only contains a rendering...
Writing Feedbackphebe - Jul 22, 2009 / tiantian12 - Jul 25, 2009
|graduation grieves me
3 - I find the choppy sentences and awkward phrasings add up to a kind of poetry. But, unfortunately, prose is...
Writing FeedbackLibra - Jul 22, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 22, 2009
|GRE essay: Sadness and happiness
8 - This sort of essay perhaps calls out for a discussion of the principle underlying the prompt. The prompt is...
Writing Feedbacksoarer - Jul 22, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 29, 2009
|Work alone or in groups
10 - Oh I didn't read the question thoroughly, I thought it was asking whether you agree or not, which mostly...
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 21, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
|[TOEFL] Observing or studying animals teaches us a lot about human nature
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 21, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 21, 2009
|"A government's role" - academic writing test IELTS to be correct
8 - You should always say what you are going to talk about in your introduction. That's what makes it...
Writing FeedbackPinklemon - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Aug 4, 2009
|Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books
20 - Very practical of you to give yourself another month. But, since your problem, in particular, has been thinking of...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 3, 2009
|Cbest Essay - Proble in Community
5 - Try "Our community, Muirland Community, experienced a rash of break-ins last year" instead. You have various minor...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Sep 2, 2009
|CBEST Essay - Why I enter education field?
4 - "Then came an opportunity to volunteer at a daycare program for children with autism. I grabbed both opportunities, working...
Writing Feedbackelainedlcruz - Jul 20, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 21, 2009
|CBEST-writing: an unforgettable person; 'my grandfather always wore his black glass'
5 - "In our life, we may encounter different kinds of people and some of them have a positive or a...
Writing FeedbackEllen Wang - Jul 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 20, 2009
|Least Favorite Place Essay
Writing Feedbackshamey - Jul 18, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 22, 2009
|Letter to a Manager; You were delivered with different items to what you ordered!
9 - you have done a great job for your first letter. It contain mistakes but thats usual at first step,...
Writing Feedbackboonwah - Jul 16, 2009 / Cosmo Resources - Jul 22, 2009
|"Separate classrooms for male and female students" - practice ACT Essay
4 - And given how far ahead of boys girls tend to be academically, as reflected in university admission rates, many...
Writing FeedbackLukeLC23 - Jul 17, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 19, 2009
|Story that affected me most - my TOEFL essay
5 - Your grammar structure and sentencing skills look really professional considering that English isn't your first language. However, for TOEFL,...
Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 17, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
|Mythology - Timeless Questions - Timeless Answers
3 - Sean is right. You've got some good insights but the essay as a whole is incoherent due to lack...
Writing FeedbackNouget - Jul 17, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 18, 2009
|The generation gap + Prevention vs Cure - help with these topics
Writing FeedbackEve - Jul 17, 2009 / Eve - Jul 18, 2009
|Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing
15 - Thank you for your explanations! This word makes me so miserable. Like Orlando, I will be more cautious when...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 17, 2009 / trangquynh - Jul 19, 2009
|Credit cards's advantages
Writing Feedbackonur - Jul 17, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 21, 2009
|A concise narrative about an important event - UF Architecture college essay!
Writing Feedbackmshireling1 - Jul 16, 2009 / EF_Simone - Aug 30, 2009
|health and personal fitness, interview three people and back ur thesis up!
3 - Indeed. You cannot say that the amount of responsibility alone determines, or is even the main determinant, in how...
Writing Feedbackhollyn91 - Jul 15, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 18, 2009
|Narrative Essay (Warning: slightly depressing)!
Writing Feedbackdancer09 - Jul 15, 2009 / Liebe - Jul 18, 2009
|CBEST: The Age of Invention
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Jul 14, 2009 / bubuvio - Jul 18, 2009
|Any suggestions on this "tent" descriptive essay?
5 - Overall this is really quite interesting. Try not to get carried away, though. Sometimes, your imagery becomes a bit...
Writing Feedbackdancer09 - Jul 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 14, 2009
|[TOEFL] Big company vs Small company
6 - Proofreading carefully is the key. It's so easy to use "site" when you mean "cite" or "wright" when you...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 13, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 14, 2009
|General Ielts: Governments should encourage employers to choose young people?
7 - In your last paragraph, i prefer "In conclusion, ..." instead of "For these reasons...". Reason is, it is more...
Writing Feedbackborzou27 - Jul 13, 2009 / boonwah - Jul 18, 2009
|Tools to attract people to work.
Writing Feedbackahmad - Jul 13, 2009 / ahmad - Jul 14, 2009
|I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community
19 - You're doing everything right. Just keep at it and you will see improvement. I am already seeing improvement in...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 12, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 16, 2009
|Good Boss, Bad Boss: Compare/Contrast Essay
27 - Oh, yes. People think that online courses will be easier but, because so much of communication occurs through...
Writing Feedbackbreeny - Jul 11, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 24, 2009
|Identify what are the most important features of an ideal community and why they are important?
10 - Noticed this in your other essay too -- be careful with your conjugation of perfect tenses: "Good school,...
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Jul 11, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 14, 2009
|Is Obama's stimulus package working?
15 - Noto, I think you will be an excellent history teacher, if that's the field you elect to pursue. The...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 9, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 11, 2009
|TOEFL : young people should have the ability to plan and organize.
6 - You forgot to capitilize first letter of the sententences and I think your overall argumetns. Also you generalized your...
Writing Feedbackviolet0222 - Jul 9, 2009 / john6503 - Jul 13, 2009
|Ielts : working children; Good or bad?
6 - You could learn a lot by studying trangquynh's essay. He has the right formula. Three specific reasons, each treated...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
|Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear 2
42 - The last two are elements of style that you can fix fairly easily by good proofreading. The first one...
Writing Feedbackyonman - Jul 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 18, 2009
|[TOEFL] Serious movies or entertaining movies? Which is better?
9 - You were taught it? I never was, in school or at university. I first learned about it through my...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 9, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
|GMAT issue essay - censorship of television programmes
9 - Actually, if you believe that censorship of television is necessary to protect children, then that argument would presumably be...
Writing Feedbackrashminet84 - Jul 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
|Should parents be held responsible for acts of vandalism committed by their children?
17 - Hmmmm . . . well, let's take a break from focusing on content for awhile, and start worrying about...
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Jul 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 14, 2009
|Nowadays people care more about their appearance more than before. Do you agree?
11 - Certainly. I think we can agree that people responding to the prompt are free to write about whatever time...
Writing Feedbacktieuzidane - Jul 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
|IELTS: International Tourism - TENSION or UNDERSTANDING?
11 - And when brainstorming, write down both the pro and the con arguments that occur to you. You may find...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
|[TOEFL] The number of cars will increase in the future
6 - In fact, the conclusion could do with some serious cutting: Before: "In conclusion, I strongly believe that there...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 8, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 12, 2009
|Ielts essay. Working women and children
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 8, 2009 / orlando - Jul 8, 2009
|"poor countries in the world" - wealthy nations to be required to share their wealth?
12 - Your grammar needs work in order to improve to the level of an academic essay. Use online tests and...
Writing Feedbackorlando - Jul 7, 2009 / EF_Simone - Jul 8, 2009
|"The Attitude of Success!" - CBEST: successful person essay!
14 - No, no . . . the conversation was meant to highlight the weakness of your description, not as suggested...
Writing Feedbackbubuvio - Jul 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
|Media in the Courtroom
3 - Yeah, once you have the essay down to about a third of its original length, you should have a...
Writing Feedbackdgoldsby - Jul 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 8, 2009
|increase minimum wage
3 - Minimum wage laws are established in Canada and each province has its own minimum wage law. This...
Writing Feedbackpurplee - Jul 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 12, 2009
|'minimum obligations' [TOEFL] Who enjoyed/enjoy life better? Older or Young?
6 - Your structure and content are good, here. You have the right general formula down, and use some strong concrete...
Writing Feedbackjohn6503 - Jul 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Jul 10, 2009
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