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Research advice on TOEFL, SAT, IELTS, GRE and other academic essays (page 468)

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Economic paper: the role of opportunity cost in financial decision making

5 - Like Kevin, I can only guess at your meaning, as a result of unfamiliarity with the subject matter combined...

Writing FeedbackAbby002 - Apr 7, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
Hypocrisy in the Chrysalids

5 - Your are most welcome!...

Writing Feedbackmacawtopia - Apr 6, 2009 / Rosamond - Apr 8, 2009
Limiting the Use of Dispable Plastic Bags

5 - Chidem and HD, thanks for those great insights. It helps in more ways than you know; it helps me...

Writing Feedbacklenzo537 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
qualities required for a happy marriage

5 - thank you so much as always the feedback really helped me!!!...

Writing Feedbackkaynling - Apr 5, 2009 / kaynling - Apr 6, 2009
The higher goal the bigger efforts for it. (SAT Essay)

5 - About that thesis, I think you should move this sentence to the end o the first paragraph: People should...

Writing FeedbackGiovane - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
It's with God's miracle that human miracles are innovate; Human Mind vs. the Computer

8 - I'm not getting angry. You asked me what grade I would give you, and why. I answered your...

Writing FeedbackRosamond - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 6, 2009
The individuality, use of machines and traveling for pleasure - essay

7 - Yes, that's what I meant! :)...

Writing FeedbackChidem - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 10, 2009
Essay on England's Right to Tax

7 - Hey, you are not being a bother. I did not see this in time to talk about it before...

Writing FeedbackReborn777 - Apr 5, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2009
The Big Three, Japanese Archetypes

3 - Well, about the space limitation, remember: you could, if you had to, write this whole essay in a single...

Writing FeedbackFDeacon - Apr 4, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 5, 2009
Advertisers, affecting our childs thought process

10 - Overall this is a really well constructed essay. I wonder, though, if you might make a bit stronger if...

Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 10, 2009
My father sacrificed alot in his lifetime ; Someone Who Has Influenced My Life

10 - Is this supposed to be a five paragraph essay, or a 4? For a standard, five paragraph essay, this...

Writing Feedbackcboggs0027 - Apr 3, 2009 / SairaTasartir - Apr 22, 2009
"Important truths begin as.." (CLEP English Comp w/essay)

4 - Oh, that is an interesting point you made, about the difficulty of writing when you don't know much about...

Writing Feedbacknazgolg2000 - Apr 3, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 4, 2009
The mighty (movie) essay. Max's past.

5 - wow thanks u guys. im not THAT good. :P tnx again. :)...

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Apr 2, 2009 / newsha31 - Apr 4, 2009
Introduction essay for Death of a Salesman prompt- Critiques?

3 - You're on the right track. Willy is only truly happy when he is working with his hands. If he...

Writing Feedbackkeentimothy - Apr 2, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
My sculpture paper, Emile Antoine Bourdelle

6 - I agree with Kevin -- you have met the requirements and given a decent description of the artwork, but...

Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Apr 1, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
Description Movie-Secret essay

2 - Jay lives with his father -- who is a Tamkang music teacher that wears glasses and a beard, and...

Writing Feedbacklilylee34 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2009
Pan's Labyrinth vs. The Fountain essay

4 - I agree with the Eliot quote. Tennessee Williams said it best: "I give you truth in the pleasant disguise...

Writing Feedbackmwingboy - Mar 31, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 3, 2009
Pledge of Allegiance, under God, separation of church/state, essay feedback

4 - Amazing, concerning Thoreau. I'll have to read "Civil Disobedience"!...

Writing Feedbackkauilani1 - Mar 31, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 3, 2009
Essay on Obama's Stimulus Plan

8 - Well, if you have to remain neutral, perhaps you could focus on the fact that it is controversial, turn...

Writing FeedbackFDeacon - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 4, 2009
Power Privilege essay

8 - You still need to work on defining power. You might start by going over to dictionary.com, which lists 20...

Writing Feedbackwilliams73 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
"Leave it to Allah!" Does this article sound good in English?   2

48 - I'm curious; do you mean that calling for love requires learning, arts, literature, and religion, or that love...

Writing Feedbacktasneemspring - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 29, 2009
A good X ( Teacher, Roomate, Classmate, Friend, etc.)

3 - You really need to pick one X. (Teacher, Roommate, Classmate, Friend, etc.). Anything general enough to fit all of...

Writing FeedbackCS800 - Mar 31, 2009 / EF_Sean - Apr 1, 2009
Some Causes of Stress -- work, family, finance.

3 - In our modern, technological century, stress becomes a common experience for all of us. There are many reasons. for...

Writing Feedbackchubbybear - Mar 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
TOEFL Essay - Cars cause a lot of air pollution...

5 - In my view, this payment it is obviously their responsibility to pay for cleaning the environment and to support...

Writing Feedbackinextricable - Mar 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
Advertisment analysis

5 - I agree that the first paragraph should be cut. Instead of saying obvious things, say your most important truth...

Writing Feedbackicemaster2340 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2009
My narrative story on how bank of america charge off department closed down

3 - Some excellent advice from Mustafa. I would go even further, though, and say that you should add dialogue even...

Writing Feedbacksexyness1421 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
My paper, for Newt Gingrich...

19 - Yes, for sure, if you are seeking help from everyone possible, and if you show them that you really...

Writing FeedbackMoeMoe1 - Mar 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - May 9, 2009
Management of Planning - Arthur Anderson (Enron case)

4 - If you have already done the research, you are halfway there already. Try to find connections between the pieces...

Writing Feedbackchampion510 - Mar 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 29, 2009
Do circumstances determine whether or not we should tell the truth?

10 - Your second essay now stays on topic, and is much better. For the first essay, your proposed revision still...

Writing Feedbacktiantian12 - Mar 28, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
Essay on The Cons of Social Text Messaging

4 - Thank you. That helps much Joseph Walsh...

Writing FeedbackNathan - Mar 27, 2009 / Nathan - Mar 28, 2009
Something That Changed Me - Becoming a Bully

13 - Yes, six! (Picture me with an amiable yet incredulous expression.) At least, that was my experience. I'm all...

Writing FeedbackANSH729 - Mar 27, 2009 / silverystars - Apr 10, 2009
Essay on the Reformation in Europe - Feedback

2 - ...Along with it, the Protestant Reformation brought religious pluralism in Europe, attacking religious dogma which at that time dominated...

Writing FeedbackAMk - Mar 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 27, 2009
Do images and impressions have too much of an effect on people?

5 - EV Kevin~thank you for your encouragement. I really appreciate your help. I will work harder to improve my writing!!^_^...

Writing Feedbacktiantian12 - Mar 26, 2009 / tiantian12 - Mar 27, 2009
If you cannot excel in a field, simply leave it for someone who can. Decisions

9 - It is absolutely wonderful, enjoyed readind it....

Writing FeedbackRosamond - Mar 26, 2009 / tasneemspring - Mar 30, 2009
If you can interview any living person, who would it be and why?

6 - Rich Monte) I appreciated your points ! I realized how important to distinguish the truth through television or...

Writing Feedbacksukjay - Mar 26, 2009 / sukjay - Mar 28, 2009
IELTS Writing Task--Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood

18 - It's a classic breakdown in an argument, out of viciousness and disrepute -- failing to stay on point as...

Writing Feedbackkirin - Mar 25, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Mar 29, 2009
Proudest achievement of my life-linear generator buoy

3 - pretty impressive essay... specially ur ideas.. overall i don thin dis essay requires much of changes.. i agree wid...

Writing Feedbackabhishek - Mar 25, 2009 / savvy - Mar 26, 2009
One of Edison's invention - Does this article sound good in English?

4 - I though of this: When Edison was fourteen, he worked at a railway station only at night...

Writing Feedbacktasneemspring - Mar 24, 2009 / Rosamond - Mar 26, 2009
Intro for my essay about army lowing its standards. Sound good so far?

3 - Another way to fix the error near that semi-colon is to just keep it the same and use a...

Writing Feedbacksgc88 - Mar 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 24, 2009
Soldiers experiences in Iraq, World War II, Vietnam.

4 - This is a compare/contrast on the soldiers' experiences, not on the wars themselves, the way I see it. ...

Writing Feedbacksadly204 - Mar 23, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Mar 25, 2009
review my quote essay ("The desire to know..")

7 - In all scope of All human achievement begins with a desire to know, and this desire is what drives...

Writing FeedbackGrammarFool - Mar 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 23, 2009
My pet essay

7 - That's a first, Mustafa! :)...

Writing FeedbackU to the Woods - Mar 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 26, 2009
"Never too Buff"; two examples of thesis statments

18 - Now, reading with my defense down, I can take advantage of his point of view. Thanks again, Sean Oh...

Writing Feedbacklilmisha - Mar 21, 2009 / lilmisha - Mar 27, 2009
Gay, lesbian, bisexual teens in America

2 - Here are some revisions and suggestions to get you started: "Gay, lesbian, bisexual people are treated like different...

Writing Feedbackchipmunk - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 22, 2009
Karl Marx vs. The Economic Hitman

7 - Yes, but the fact that people believe it does work means that they accept levels of income inequality that...

Writing FeedbackGautama - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 23, 2009
Pygmalion Paragraph for brochure

3 - Hey, that is good stuff from Sean! Yes, the parts where you tell some of what happens in the...

Writing Feedbackmenamilad - Mar 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 22, 2009
"PGD method" - feetback on introduction of short academic essay

12 - "a morally problematic way of thinking that the Holocaust should have taught us to avoid." Avoid comparing things to...

Writing FeedbackTAMTAM - Mar 20, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 30, 2009
Goals: Dancer, Hairdresser, Musician

5 - The first goal beside that of becoming a dancer is to become an elementary school teacher. One reason...

Writing Feedbackanzgurl - Mar 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 21, 2009
A short story draft - dirty job, "Dear Diary" comment

7 - tnx sean, but i dont get ur question....

Writing Feedbacknewsha31 - Mar 18, 2009 / newsha31 - Mar 20, 2009
"What did you want to be when you were a child" - 5 paragraph essay

4 - However, when I got older, I realized that being a dancer was not my top goal anymore, because I...

Writing Feedbackanzgurl - Mar 18, 2009 / anzgurl - Mar 19, 2009
Summary and Personal Response "Hills Like White Elephants" grammar check

4 - At some point you might want to think about the two main meanings of the phrase "white elephant." It...

Writing Feedbackkinghippo - Mar 18, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 20, 2009
"Lithuania Environmental problems" essay - correct my mistakes

3 - Nevertheless, Lithuania has problems involving the quantity of garbage, car ... Yeah... you need to be more specific. What...

Writing Feedbackjurgita - Mar 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 19, 2009
What do you think composition is? (this is the essay title we were given)

5 - Thank you so much for everyones input into my essay.i have learnt somethin for a change.now i need help...

Writing FeedbackPriya Nayer - Mar 16, 2009 / Priya Nayer - Mar 17, 2009
Essay for TOEFL: "establishing a new university in your community"

5 - This essay already seems to be in good shape, after Tyler and Kevin's excellent advice. One thing I would...

Writing Feedbackmogul - Mar 16, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 17, 2009
a psychology research paper

3 - Hello! Gloria is not active as a moderator right now, but there are a few others of us... ...

Writing Feedbackjenhur - Mar 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 17, 2009
Expository Essay "Keeping Kids Drug Free"

6 - Everyone has different ideas about what an expository essay is... like Sean said, it encompasses multiple categories. If you...

Writing Feedbackrolenakay - Mar 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 16, 2009
In the Kitchen: Constructing Identity

2 - I think you should expand the first paragraph to explain that thesis statement about exploring his own values. Make...

Writing FeedbackCodyB - Mar 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 15, 2009
Achievement of Set goals in Life is a Success

NEW - Learning is always a passion for me. Learning is an ongoing process, knowledge and skill gain through comprehensive learning...

Writing Feedbacktb1978 - Mar 15, 2009 / — -
The Future of the Internet, Globalization, and Mankind

3 - "Internet" is a proper noun and should be capitalized throughout the essay. Also, the first paragraph should me a...

Writing Feedbackrshingleton - Mar 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Mar 14, 2009
SAT Essay:One Subject or Multiple?

3 - Some more fixes: "In modern society, the indispensable discoveries cannot be found by focusing on one subject anymore,...

Writing Feedbackmingbaau - Mar 13, 2009 / EF_Sean - Mar 14, 2009

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