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government should spend as much money as possible on developing technology

3 - Your have some grammar errors in this essay, but I would do some revision before I worried about that....

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009mikesperry79 - Oct 14, 2009
I do not have excellent English skills; COVER LETTER for postdoctoral position

NEW - Studying Immune Cells Function Dear Prof. OOO I am writing to apply for the postdoctoral position at...

LettersEunkyung Kim - Oct 13, 2009 -
"I want to study in the multicultural environment" - APU admission essay

5 - oohh, basic mistake :) . thank you for ur help Damon1570 :)...

UndergraduateRavie - Oct 13, 2009Ravie - Oct 18, 2009
"the oldest of 8 kids" - Personal Statement Law School

NEW - Tell ME what you think Being the oldest of 8 kids, I had thought that tutoring 3 middle...

Graduateracasen88 - Oct 13, 2009 -
Is it a good thing to have children employed with paid jobs?

4 - the consciousness of earning money seriously by their own effort to cover their education tuitions and personal expenses...

Writing Feedbackmaybien_bk - Oct 13, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Oct 15, 2009
"City vs. Countryside" - English class essay

4 - Your essay is based on your personal experience. It's good however the overuse of these experiences makes your essay...

Writing Feedbackkokujampo - Oct 13, 2009maybien_bk - Oct 13, 2009
ethnic diversity essay- i need help with first paragraph

3 - Oh... alrighty! Thanx!...

EssaysSelina22 - Oct 13, 2009Selina22 - Oct 13, 2009
Common App essay - a new approach to an old prompt

4 - Um. You are aware that the point of this essay is to show what a *good* candidate you are,...

UndergraduateA Sizzle - Oct 13, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 15, 2009
FSU "Vires, Artes, Mores".. artistic pursuits.

3 - You can just write another draft and post the new one below. Let me give my ieas for this...

Undergraduatebpyk - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
Florida State Essay - Latin terms used correctly?

2 - This is great! The poem is great, and the inspiration you draw from your brother is, too. I think...

Undergraduatedatagirl - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
I am Vampire Slayer (not Dracula or the coven of the Twilight series type)

4 - No problem. Yeah the length is hard, especially when the piece you have written is already very concise....

Undergraduatedramacratic - Oct 13, 2009samcguff - Oct 14, 2009
Maria and father - FSU Essay.

3 - I think you are off to a good start and this a great paragraph. However, I do not think...

UndergraduateAGilberti1 - Oct 13, 2009mikesperry79 - Oct 13, 2009
"living more and more" - FSU ESSAY i need help

4 - Suspended for ignoring the thread title rules. EF...

Undergraduatehellomello15 - Oct 13, 2009EF_Team - Oct 13, 2009
'Doing something meaningful in life' - Peace Corp Essay

2 - This is very good. Your transitions are smooth, and your flow is logical. I always think these things...

Undergraduatempassal - Oct 13, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 13, 2009
"my strength in mind, body and soul" - FSU app, vires.

NEW - As I unravel the events and thoughts that I've had in past and present the philosophy "Vires, Artes, Mores"...

Undergraduatedanceislife_e - Oct 13, 2009 -
"Pacing and pacing" - Fsu Admission Essay Vires

3 - You make the change sound so sudden, without explanation. You say you became "quiet" and "to yourself" but you...

Undergraduatetravisto - Oct 13, 2009Mariam892 - Oct 14, 2009
FSU essay [Latin ViRES and more]

3 - "I signify.. I strive... I gather... I consider.. I work.. I must.. I also use.." Change this up and...

Undergraduatecrystal6 - Oct 13, 2009bpyk - Oct 13, 2009
Non sibi sed partiae - background / interest

5 - Thank you so much, I know I have alot of work to do. I will work on it some...

Undergraduatestedschris - Oct 13, 2009stedschris - Oct 14, 2009
"to get a good education" - University of Florida: Amission Essay

4 - yes its very rough. i wasnt sure if it was on topic or not. thanks...

Undergraduatemarinaaddario - Oct 13, 2009marinaaddario - Oct 14, 2009
Slower runners - FSU essay -vires, needs to be looked over

2 - When you refer to a word, put it in " " marks: The ideals within the Latin word "Vires"...

Undergraduateblakjackk - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
FSU Essay, my father, my family, vires artes mores

2 - Religion and my family, especially my grandfather, have provided my guiding prrinciples throughout my life. I think you...

Undergraduateluiscabiya - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
Curry; Significant person essay - It may seem cliché to say that it's my mother

3 - The comment above is pretty much on the spot. You're going to have to think of some really unique...

Undergraduatejustinnorman - Oct 13, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 13, 2009
'The whole world is one big stage' - Admission Essay- Vires, Artes, Mores

2 - Use a comma to separate the 2 halves of a compound sentence: I open my eyes, and I...

Undergraduateaustnpd - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
UF Essay- How I can contribute to the campus as a Gator

4 - 'Strict' is much better. I think it's good to go. Just please make separate paragraphs....

UndergraduateJGhiya25 - Oct 13, 2009EF_Stephen - Oct 15, 2009
Thesis that unifies three points - Spanish essay

2 - I would suggest molding a thesis with the three points like so..."Bullfighting, although a prevalent tradition throughout the history...

Essayslukeish - Oct 13, 2009npirwa4 - Oct 13, 2009
'the eldest of three girls /the research industry' Supplement for Rush Medical School

3 - Okay, thank you so much. Since I have posted this essay, I rewrote it. I will repost the updated...

Graduatereader2011 - Oct 13, 2009reader2011 - Oct 19, 2009
Toefl Essay Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources

5 - Hi, people will be able to lead a normal and stable in the world. After "a", there should be...

Writing FeedbackKeng - Oct 13, 2009tuanlnc - Oct 15, 2009
Six-Minute Eternity - Common Application Main Essay, The Hand In Darkness

9 - I like the original one"the hand in the darkness". Your hook is already very impressive to me~...

Undergraduatezouztingt - Oct 13, 2009ying7686 - Oct 25, 2009
Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse now Comparison

2 - Hey that sure sounds like an impressive response. What is this "the horror" concept from? I mean, where...

Book Reportstrevgolfer - Oct 13, 2009EF_Kevin - Oct 14, 2009
face to face communication is better than others such as mail, phone...

6 - I am not sure if the "other types of communication" in the qns is restricted to the examples given...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Oct 13, 2009xtlraptor - Oct 17, 2009
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