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Emigrating from India, my parents insisted that I work; COMMON APP - TRANSFER

6 - I like your essay very much, it gets straight to the point....

UndergraduateBella0825 - Sep 19, 2009asianbaybay - Sep 25, 2009
Narrative essay / the street artist

5 - The story is too pat to be realistic. Also, the theme of the etching, according to the website you...

Writing Feedbackal_nadwani - Sep 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 20, 2009
"Most conversations with my classmates" - Umich short answer

3 - "I could not bring myself to admit this " "I learned that even though I excelled in certain...

Undergraduateshirleytse - Sep 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 19, 2009
"the day she became my mother" - Personal Statement help

3 - You need to write a much more focused essay. At the moment, you do a good job of introducing...

Undergraduateawesome lovato - Sep 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 19, 2009
Toefl Topic -- "A person you know is coming to your town"

5 - You're not doing too badly for a TOEFL essay. You should reorder either your paragraphs or your introduction, however,...

Writing Feedbackzhigoolet - Sep 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 19, 2009
Yale Supplement Essay - My Little Sculptors (tentative title)

6 - The first paragraph is fine. So is the Spanish. But, you need to talk more about how the experience...

UndergraduateJavierA - Sep 19, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 20, 2009
FSu Essay "Vires Artes Mores" and how they reflect your life

7 - Thanks for the advice. I live in Florida too, and I doubt I'm going to FSU... I'm just applying...

Undergraduatepianogirl246 - Sep 19, 2009pianogirl246 - Sep 27, 2009
the main purposes of a country's education system

6 - talk about the variety in public school curriculum, private schools, boarding schools, athletes, scholarships, neighborhood, admission process, money. ...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 19, 2009kyleroland - Nov 15, 2009
MIT: 'Armageddon has arrived' - What for pleasure? & What to major in?

6 - Changing your verbs from the passive voice tot he active will not only strengthen your essay, but give you...

Undergraduatenerdalert13 - Sep 19, 2009Notoman - Sep 27, 2009
Overcoming Domestic Violence - UC Transfer App

8 - EF_Sean..."I'm a crazy person who's off her meds, and who in fact refused to go on them." LOL!...

UndergraduateSeeHerFly - Sep 19, 2009SeeHerFly - Sep 20, 2009
Elaborate on ONE of your activities (common application) (basketball)

14 - EF_Stephen Excellent! Yes, that is so true! I could not put my finger on what the matter was, but...

Undergraduatedj1126 - Sep 19, 2009Jeannie - Oct 13, 2009
MIT Pleasure Essay & Field of Study Essay

3 - I rewrote a great deal of it what do you think? We know you lead a busy...

Undergraduateanniebiotic - Sep 19, 2009anniebiotic - Oct 22, 2009
Philisophical Essay Topic? Would it be appropriate?

8 - The question is whether your friend is able to engage these philosophical ideas intelligently, in a manner that demonstrates...

EssaysLlamapoop123 - Sep 19, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 23, 2009
Some sentence meaning questions

5 - Meaning of "Straight past" Please can somebody tell me the meaning of this sentence. "Tom seemed to...

Grammar, UsageJin - Sep 19, 2009Hiruni - Aug 8, 2014
business and technology for China (educational interests and goals - UMN)

5 - Thanks, I know, I will provide some more specific examples, like hte "solar power panal", etr......

Undergraduatezealzou - Sep 19, 2009zealzou - Sep 24, 2009
"What do you do for the pleasure of it?" MIT Short Answer

6 - I liked the first one better then the second one. It draws you in, unlike the second response which...

Undergraduatefbs801 - Sep 19, 2009vip747 - Sep 27, 2009
A licence to Write ?

11 - I lived some years in Bethesda, near Washington DC. My neighbor had a very cynical attitude towards Indians and...

Writing FeedbackRajiv - Sep 19, 2009Rajiv - Oct 31, 2009
Why Duke? (landscape, architecture, sports programs, and excellent academics)

3 - You've made the common mistake of taking the question too literally. Duke does not need you to tell them...

Undergraduatebstrickland91 - Sep 18, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 19, 2009
'Finally!' - Common Application Essay (significant experience)

6 - definitely needs to be more meaningful. and the beginning needs to have more spark!...

UndergraduateBoNyKiD07 - Sep 18, 2009songbird91 - Sep 29, 2009
"What makes Stanford a good place for you?" - LAST STANFORD ESSAY

3 - I like the overall approach. My only concern is that it answers the question of "why do you want...

Undergraduatetdai698 - Sep 18, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 18, 2009
"well-rounded person" - FSU entrance essay

8 - It's easy to forget the big picture when your daily life is packed with academics and athletics. Every college...

Undergraduatejodim10 - Sep 18, 2009jodim10 - Sep 19, 2009
"to expand these values" - Florida State Entrance Essay

5 - I agree with the other feedback. Those reading these applications know what the prompt is and what the words...

Undergraduateseanylax21 - Sep 18, 2009heddergirl723 - Sep 21, 2009
Undergraduate Albany Medical School Admissions Essay

5 - I most certainly can EF_Sean! I'll get to work ASAP Thanks a lot for that!...

Undergraduatedj1126 - Sep 18, 2009dj1126 - Sep 18, 2009
How to avoid contractions in writing?

11 - I believe it was Churchill who said "That is the sort of nonsense up with which I will...

Grammar, Usagezam614 - Sep 18, 2009EF_Sean - Oct 9, 2009
"My future college experience" - on Application to UF

4 - Each person has some quirk that makes them completely unique. These discrepancies aren't always noticeable, but sometimes they are...

Undergraduateelanners - Sep 18, 2009melyxoxo - Sep 18, 2009
"to make it worth wild" - University of Central Florida Essay

8 - Ah, too bad you got to that one before me, Liebe. I was really looking forward to punning...

Undergraduatemelyxoxo - Sep 18, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 18, 2009
UT Austin undergraduate transfer essay. Issue of importance: Safe Passing Bill

10 - I preferred your original version. The introduction was stronger, as it went into more detail about the narrative incident....

UndergraduateDJKessler - Sep 18, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 27, 2009
Rambo Verses the Boar; Descriptive Narrative Assignment

8 - This is more like it. You may not want to mention this, though: Few people are concerned...

Writing Feedbackneuromancer - Sep 18, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 27, 2009
students should get jobs or not? why or why not? 'to be more confident'

3 - thank DJKessler very much. your comment encourages me very much; because, my teacher often says that my essays are...

Writing Feedbackthinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Sep 18, 2009
help with an essay on personality characteristics

6 - "Form your personality based not on where you grew up, but who you grew up with." I think...

EssaysTomHeather - Sep 18, 200993haider - Oct 25, 2011
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