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"lust for knowledge" - FSU admissions essay

7 - No, the connection with Vires is not at all clear....

Undergraduateryanthelion - Aug 26, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 27, 2009
"the League of Nations after World War 1" -Stanford Intellectual Vitality essay

7 - get people to look at it please lol i need a better rewrite by tomorrow at 12 =P...

Undergraduatethegerman - Aug 26, 2009thegerman - Aug 26, 2009
UCB Transfer Hopeful

7 - EF_Simone: Thank you so much for your feedback! I tried to incorporate that tidbit as such: When...

Undergraduatetwofer - Aug 26, 2009twofer - Aug 27, 2009
'2D characters in 3D world' - Intellectual Vitality Essay - Stanford

7 - Sounds sort of interesting, based on the description in wikipedia, which knows all....

Undergraduatetreehugger77 - Aug 26, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 16, 2009
Who has made you who you are today (my uncle)

6 - Hmm thats a good one. I really didn't want to choose my parents because it seems everyone chooses them....

Undergraduatefrancesca1465 - Aug 26, 2009francesca1465 - Aug 27, 2009
Research Exerience and Plans

4 - I would replace this -- which doesn't really say anything -- with a sentence that summarizes the research...

GraduateM Ehsan ul Haq - Aug 26, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 27, 2009
GRE: Corporate executives' responsibility

4 - Thanks Sean and Simone for those invaluable suggestions....

Writing FeedbackJunYuan - Aug 26, 2009JunYuan - Aug 27, 2009
Should we tell the truth always in order to preserve our friendship?

8 - First, you must register an account on this site. Then, On the right-top corner, there is the "New Thread"...

Writing Feedback123toilama - Aug 26, 2009tuanlnc - Aug 27, 2009
Major in economics - NYU supplement essay

6 - The point would be to pick somebody very famous -- past or present, real or fictional -- from...

Undergraduatesteve53 - Aug 26, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 29, 2009
[toefl] topic (dis/agree) There are times when lying is acceptable.

4 - I think lying for good purposes is not only acceptable but also necessary. White lies are sometimes very useful....

Writing Feedbacksugarzhi - Aug 26, 2009tuanlnc - Aug 26, 2009
Celebrating Nerdiness - Tom Rogers

8 - Don't ask me what's in the article. Read the article yourself. What does your teacher want? A summary...

Essaystempestuous - Aug 26, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 27, 2009
'Everyone was burned to crisp' - "Jacob" - grammar for my Essay?

4 - This part is confusing to me. You should state that Jacob insisted on quitting school first. Otherwise, there...

Writing FeedbackSPak - Aug 26, 2009Llamapoop123 - Aug 26, 2009
Shakespeare's Sonnets, Analysis

6 - The use of the first person is generally frowned upon in formal literary criticism for the reason it is...

Book ReportsNotoman - Aug 26, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 29, 2009
"the count of monte cristo" - i need help on a thesis paper

4 - For what level of schooling are you writing this paper? Your thesis is fine but simplistic. In the U.S....

Book ReportsBeachBound4ever - Aug 26, 2009EF_Simone - Aug 29, 2009
single parent home - Proofread, suggestions-MSU Personal statement

3 - This is great advide,and exactly what I was looking for. THANK YOU!...

UndergraduateMG4192 - Aug 26, 2009MG4192 - Aug 26, 2009
Taking standardized tests to prove learning progress - Toefl IBT writing essay

6 - Well, this shows that is not a good prompt for the TOEFL, as it requires some cultural knowledge...

Writing Feedbacktuanlnc - Aug 25, 2009EF_Simone - Sep 4, 2009
Mistakes make success--GRE Issue

5 - Where are you from? I am from China....

Writing FeedbackHellgreeting - Aug 25, 2009yx200986 - Sep 4, 2009
"How you?"; my first two words to my first teacher in the US -- Common app essay

8 - The essay is well-written, and proof enough that you have mastered English. And that seems to me to be...

UndergraduateanaMorphine - Aug 25, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 27, 2009
help pick my essay topic (applying to art colleges)

10 - haha yea i guess i'm ok with cartoons, still developing my style though x_x. nah that's a good amount...

Undergraduateautumnclouds67 - Aug 25, 2009autumnclouds67 - Aug 27, 2009
'money and riches' - What Is the Purpose of Higher Education?

5 - If you seperate your paragaphs by an empty line then it's clearer & easier for everybody to read. In...

Writing Feedbacktho91 - Aug 25, 2009tuanlnc - Aug 28, 2009
Personal statement fot Residency (Medicine)

6 - I have seen they like specifics as well as introducing yourself. Like you are going to an interview and...

Graduatesabinanb - Aug 25, 2009tinamiller1 - Aug 28, 2009
esssay -global warming&natural disasters

8 - In the long term, burning off fuels in trying to grow up the industry for the better economy are...

Writing FeedbackHarryK - Aug 25, 2009jgv115 - Sep 4, 2009
Money or Health

10 - wow, you are more more better than me. Thank for your paragraph it help me to improve my essay...

Undergraduatejeffrey L - Aug 25, 2009jeffrey L - Aug 26, 2009
princeton summer- I practiced soccer with my cousins

4 - What is your thesis? That is, what main point do you want the essay to make about you, that...

Writing Feedbackladidi - Aug 25, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 25, 2009
When to use "to+ -ing"?

9 - This language pattern is somewhat difficult to understand if you want to refer back to grammar rules. I...

Grammar, Usageescritor - Aug 25, 2009Keng - Sep 28, 2009
(A cheating incident I was involved in) is essay topic is OK?

9 - ^People's decisions are influenced by other activities, surrounding them, that occurred in the past, or can possibly happen...

UndergraduatePhoenix1300 - Aug 25, 2009Liebe - Aug 26, 2009
Qualities to be a good and complete student

11 - The thing is, what you should do depends very heavily on the level of proficiency you are striving for....

Writing FeedbackBlack_Code - Aug 25, 2009EF_Sean - Sep 4, 2009
Why I chose to apply to UCF? (my journey to success)

21 - If there really isn't anything about the essay that is well written or if there isn't any good points...

UndergraduateMieMie09 - Aug 25, 2009Llamapoop123 - Aug 26, 2009
Non-traditional Student College Personal Essay

6 - Thank you so much for the tips. This was the first draft which popped in my head. I know...

Writing FeedbackSFLady77 - Aug 25, 2009SFLady77 - Aug 25, 2009
Moral and ethical standards and effective leadership--GRE issue

3 - Why do you mention business leaders? The prompt specifically asks you to discuss public officials. I think you...

Writing FeedbackSuperkid - Aug 24, 2009EF_Sean - Aug 25, 2009
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