prospectivestudents.leiden.edu/scholarships/scholarship/holland-scholarship-programme.html#general-conditions
Please help me with reviewing my motivation letter for applying for Holland Scholarship at Leiden Uni.
Thank you!
Dear Sirs, Madams,
Growing up in a single family, instead of succumbing to tight financial situation, I have been quite fortunate to be able to enrich myself in terms of humanities, which has fuelled me to further my educational goal in studying International Studies at Leiden University.
With my mother's understanding and sacrifice over the years, I have devoted my time to improve my artistic as well as academic accomplishment. For instance, based on my painting experience begun at five years old, I was among top 10% at the entry exam of National Taiwan University of Arts in fine arts department. In terms of my potentialities in languages, my learning curve of English may be a perfect example. As I was being gradually eager to read more without the limit of translations, I started to study English with an exceedingly concentrated willpower. By the time I graduated from high school, I got an A from a C. In addition to focusing on my own studies, I also worked as an English & art tutor and art editor after graduating from high school as a way of contributing to my family's budget.
Recently I was selected to be a volunteer in the Centre for Chinese Studies, a respected national research institution in Taiwan. During this time I learned how scholars from all around the world see Chinese culture and had the opportunity to meet people from linguistic and literary backgrounds since this centre has sometimes cooperated with Taiwan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
After graduating from Leiden University, I am planning to work in a museum or, some projects related to the holding of exhibitions and writing articles about aesthetics in order to improve and help people to understand other cultures and aesthetics. After gaining some practical work experience, based on my interests in looking for nebulous meanings or origins of languages, I would like to enrich my academic background by applying for a Master's degree in linguistics; I believe that I would benefit greatly from the advanced philological training in many ways. For instance, I can, not only strengthen my translating skills, but also learn how languages are connected with cultures; these skills and profound knowledge that I am going to learn as a master's student will all eventually improve my work in helping people to appreciate varied beauty of other cultures.
If selected for this scholarship, I will continue to apply the same diligence to my collegiate studies as I have to this point, absorbing breadth of knowledge to fulfil my background. I hope that you will consider my application favourably, and help me to achieve my educational goal. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Charlotte Fang
... improve my artistic as well as academic accomplishment skills
For instance, based on my painting experience begun at five years old . I started painting at a very tender age of 5. I was among the top 10%, at the entrance exam of National Taiwan ...
... my learning curve of English is be a perfect example. As I was being gradually eager As a vociferous reader I read a lot, and gradually learnt to read without translations, I started to study English with an exceedingly concentrated a very strong willpower.
... I got improved from C to an A .
... a way of contributing to my family's budget income.
Recently I was selected to be a as a volunteer in ...
... see the Chinese culture and had the an opportunity to meet and interact with people from diverse linguistic and literary backgrounds since this centre has sometimes co-operates with Taiwan's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
@ pratik0406 Thanks!!
Do you think I've provided enough information as to apply for an one-time scholarship?
Actually I am not sure whether it is okay to mention I was raised solely by my mother; but I've seen several people described themselves that way...
Thanks anyway!
As a voracious reader with a determination to absorb a wider knowledge and understanding of subtle implications, I gradually learnt to read English literature without translations.
Hi, can someone help me with reviewing this letter?
Do you think I've provided enough information as to apply for an one-time scholarship?
Actually I am not sure whether it is okay to mention I was raised solely by my mother; but I've seen several people described themselves that way...
Should I mention my previous scholarship? Though I got it based mainly on my artistic skills, not for academic reasons.
Hi Charlotte, I was wondering if you would mind if I commented on the content of your letter? You see, I don't feel that it is as strong as it can be because it does not really showcase your strengths as a student and as a professional. The idea behind a scholarship motivation letter is to convince the scholarship committee that you are a good candidate for free studies based upon your skills and abilities as a student and as a professional. That said, you don't really have to go all the way back to your childhood to discuss your art.
Present your art in terms of the reasons why you chose to develop your talent as a career instead of a hobby. Where do you see yourself in the future if you continue to follow this path? Consider the reasons why you believe that they should back your studies. Mention any awards or notable mentions of your art work from your college days, exhibits, and similar activities. That information will help enhance your application and give you a chance to compete with the other scholarship applicants on a level playing field.
The story of your mother being a single parent does not really have a direct connection with your achievements as an artist, nor does it have a relation to this current application. Instead of that, you should be discussing how you plan to use the scholarship to pursue your professional interests and how you can give back or support the same scholarship program in the future. Keep in mind that scholarships are not given away and your financial backstory from when you were a child doesn't matter. Instead, talk about how your current financial situation is keeping you from achieving further professional accomplishments. Then detail where you see yourself after graduating. You already represented a part of that in your original essay. You just need to build upon it.
Sell the reviewer on the idea that it will be a loss to the scholarship if they do not help fund your masters degree education. Revise the essay to promote your art skills better. Your Center for Chinese Studies experience does not really relate to your masters degree it seems so you can skip that part and offer the space for more related discussions.
Hi @ vangiespen, thank you so much!
I rewrote a bit based on your suggestions:
Despite of tight financial situation, I have been quite fortunate to be able to enrich myself in terms of humanities, which has fueled me to further my educational goal in studying International Studies at Leiden University.
In order to help people appreciate other ways of aesthetics in the future, I have devoted my time to improve my artistic skills. In high school, due to my achievement on paintings, I was rewarded an annual scholarship, which funded my short trip to Edinburgh; during that month, I was inspired greatly by sketching, visiting museums and studying in libraries. Later in my college time, I was among the top 10%, at the entrance exam of National Taiwan University of Arts in fine arts department. At the first year, I was selected to exhibit my painting with many third-year students in our annual display.
Languages are as well important in terms of understanding the subtle meanings of literature, drama and other things relevant to cultures. My learning curve of English, for example, proved my potentialities in linguistics. In high school, at first I was not fond of English, yet as a voracious reader with a determination to absorb a wider knowledge, I gradually learnt to read English literature without translations. By the time I graduated, I improved from C to an A within one year. In addition to focusing on my own studies, I also worked as an English & art tutor and art editor after graduating from high school as a way of contributing to my family's income.
After graduating...
Thanks again for your help!
Charlotte, this is not really much of an improvement and does not reflect the kinds of changes that I suggested. Let me offer you an example of how to better write your essay. This sample is based upon the information you have already provided.
Having grown up in a family that valued education and the opportunities it delivers despite the expense that it involved. My family always made sure to promote a desire for higher studies in all of its younger members. As a member of this generation, my family has never allowed our finances to stand in the way of our education. That said, the next step in my educational path has taken me to the steps of Leiden University. In order to achieve my objective of gaining a masters degree in International Studies, my family and I will be requiring some assistance.
I believe that I would be a good candidate for this scholarship because my whole life has been devoted to the improvement of my artistic skills, which usually translated into study sponsorships for me. It was because of the kindness of other people that I was able to continue pursuing my love for art on an international level with educational exposure gained, for example, by trips to Edinburgh where I was inspired by sketch art, the museums, and the libraries that were open to all who wished to learn. Such types of exposure helped me to further improve my art and gain admission as a scholar, to the National Taiwan University Department of Fine Arts. Impressively enough, as a college freshman, I was selected to join an art exhibit that normally only showcased third year students. It was the touch of my international exposure to art that made my work impressive enough to be included in this annual show.
Somehow, I believe that the world of Art is the door that has helped me walk down the path of International Studies. As an artist who has gained exposure to foreign influence, I have come to understand that a clear understanding of the world around me can only help me polish my craft even more. Hence my desire to complete International Studies at Leiden University. I already have a solid command of the English language and a basic understanding of art in relation to the history of a nation's people. All I have to now, is expand upon my knowledge and apply it to my art. I hope that your scholarship committee will find my cause worthy of your support.
Since this is supposed to be a simple motivational letter for a scholarship, I truly believe that what I have developed for you above more than suits the demands of the committee. After all, you will be submitting other papers along with this letter to help support your claim for a scholarship. So you can either use this letter that I wrote as is, or make it a basis of your own version. Whatever you decide is fine with me :-)
@ vangiespen Thank you so much for helping me!
Could you possibly tell me what does a nation's people mean at the end of this sentence? Does that mean English culture?
I already have a solid command of the English language and a basic understanding of art in relation to the history of a nation's people.
Thanks again for your kindly rewriting.
Not necessarily English culture, but it does have to do with culture. When one says; "a basic understanding of art in relation to the history of a nation's people.", it means that you learned about the life of a country, its history and heritage, through your exposure to their art. As you know, art or paintings, in particular, used to be the only way to preserve certain historical facts of a nation's birth. For example, there are no real pictures of Napoleon Bonaparte but there are artistic renditions of him in museums. When people tour the museum, they see the painting and then they come to learn about the history of the country in relation to the person. That is the basic connotation of that statement.
So the phrase is in relation to all countries where you gained experience related to your art. As you learned more about art, I believe that you also learned about the people, culture, and artistic tendencies of the country you were visiting or studying in right? So everything you know about other cultures, you learned through art. I wanted to create a connection between art, your expertise, and the logical need for a scholarship. I apologize if my wording confused you. The reviewer however, will clearly know what I mean to imply by that declaration :-)
