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Appeal for Admission into Sociology undergraduate course at NUS


el0637 /  
Jun 1, 2011   #1
Hi, having been rejected on my first attempt at admission into the university of my choice, I need to draft out an appeal letter in the upcoming week. The only limitation is a word limit of 1000 characters.

I really wish to pursue Sociology as my undergraduate course as I find that the thought process and issues it tackles meld strongly with what I find interesting and passionate for. Since young, I loved to express my thoughts - yet this was not exactly well received in a conservative-thinking class - such was the acadamic climate in my country at that time. Although I studied the majority of my courses in science during the past (science was considered more prestigious and a more pragmatic pursuit), I never did lose my interest in thinking up significant societal issues that should be tackled currently.

Many of my peers that I ask still do not know what they wish to do for undergraduate studies, or that they chose a course because they thought it was pragmatic in working society - but I know if I don't take up Sociology, I will never feel comfortable with myself giving up a discipline and school of thought (is that the way to describe it?) that I now recognised I unwittingly gravitated towards since young. As such, I finally decided that I should pursue my passion instead of taking the beaten road as I mature.

I would like to ask for some advice regarding what I should be writing in order to form a good appeal, but I'm afraid of coming across as narcisstic, nor that I decided on Sociology since it had a low cut-off point or that it was a last minute decision.

In case you guys need a reference as to why I was rejected, this is my Discretionary Admission essay I wrote (which didn't grant me admission into the Sociology course):

When I was directed to *classified* right after BMT, I was devastated to only be a corporal for my NS term. Despite this setback, I refused to look down on myself and decided to dedicate my efforts in performing well in the unit course.

I strived to lead in the platoon through my initiative in performing tasks we were set to do, and my determination allowed me to achieve a Gold Award in IPPT when I could not even pass the IPPT in BMT. It is with this attitude that I was awarded the Platoon Best award at the end of course.

From this, I learnt that if one puts in the effort, past results will not obstruct one's future achievements. Likewise, I believe my past grades are not indicative of my success in NUS. Having always been passionate about the Korean culture, and appreciative of their mental fortitude and determination, I applied to study at the Daehan Korean Learning Centre to better appreciate the nuances of the Korean language, which would enable me to gain a comprehensive insight into their culture and lifestyle.

I realized that I was fascinated with the inner workings of society, of what many took for granted. I found myself researching on issues such as the double standards of society in Korea. Issues such as how even the smallest actions by individuals are influenced by the ideologies and cultural norms in a nation are of great interest to me. However, what I like most is how the social arts consists of many disciplines and incorporates diverse topics, allowing great intellectual maneuverability in the field.

It is my belief that my experiences have allowed me to further enhance my passion for pursuing the social sciences in my tertiary studies at NUS.

Thank you very much in advance for giving suggestions regarding my appeal!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 3, 2011   #2
I saw a great post where you helped Mingkuan -- thanks for all the time you spent there!

Please check out EssayForum Contributor Page!

I will never feel comfortable with myself giving up a discipline and school of thought (is that the way to describe it?) that I now recognised I unwittingly gravitated towards since young. As such, I finally decided that I should pursue my passion instead of taking the beaten road as I mature.

Yes, I think that's a good way to describe it... but you have to be more specific. You'll enter the profession as someone with either absolutist ethics or utilitarian ethics. You'll enter the profession with special skills that make you uniquely qualified for certain kinds of work.

What, specifically, do you like to DO every day these days? What kind of work will be enjoyable every day? You have a lot of options for specialization.

The letter starts here, right?------> When I was directed to *classified* right after BMT, I was devastated to only be a corporal for my NS term. Despite this setback, I refused to look down on

Try to avoid using "I believe." Always take it right out. It will always improve the sentence:
believe My past grades are not indicative of my success in NUS. ---so much stronger without that wimpy "I believe." ;-)

Having always been passionate about the Korean culture, and appreciative of their mental fortitude and determination, I applied to study at the Daehan Korean Learning Centre to better appreciate the nuances of the Korean language, which would enable me to gain a comprehensive insight into their culture, and lifestyle.--I simplified this for you!!

I realized that I was fascinated with the inner workings of society, of what many took for granted. confusing!

It is my belief that m My experiences in ________ and ______ have allowed prepared me to further enhance my passion for pursuing the social sciences in my tertiary studies at NUS.

At the beginning of this, come up with something to tell them about what motivates you. If you are worried about seeming pompous, all you need is to focus on the cause you support.... what is important to you. That way, your achievements are not matters of ego. They're evidence of your resolve.


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