This is my first draft so I'm guessing there's going to be quite a lot of errors and the flow still needs works. If you could also comment on the content that'd be great.
Deakin University Application
Letter of Motivation
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply for a place in the Bachelor of Information Technology during 2nd semester of 2012. My ambition is to develop applications, in particular mobile applications.
In high school I graduated with an 81.6 VCE ENTER score. I enrolled into Computer Science at Monash University in hopes of transferring to Computer Systems Engineering which I successfully did. However during much of the period in Computer Systems Engineering I was diagnosed with a severe case of Crohn's Disease and later my mother was diagnosed with Lymphoma cancer. This explains my bumpy track record in Computer Systems Engineering. I eventually transferred back to Computer Science tried to finish what I had started however after the long period of poor performance it brought my confidence down and I decided to take a break from university.
Throughout my time at Monash University I did have a job at Safeway which I worked weekly casual hours. Near the end of my time at Safeway I explored iOS (Objective-C) programming on the iPhone. I chose to explore this because of my unique background in studying electronic hardware and a deeper understanding of software programming. Through this I found a new desire to enter a path I have a lot of passion and love for it wasn't writing the applications but rather delivering a product to millions of people which I designed and programmed.
I have an enormous vision I want to bring to people through hard work. As an introductory lesson for myself I developed a movie quiz using a game engine called Cocos2D. I chose this because of it's ease of use and portability to other popular platforms such as Android and OSX. I also had with some assistance in design and question writing from my brother. From my brother's own experience in Civil Engineering projects he brought about a timeframe and project management phases which I have got to experience first hand and also manage myself. The Application took June 2011 - Decemeber 2011 to develop where it was to a quality fit for sale and the reviews have been very promising and has driven me to design another application.
Despite being a simple quiz game, there was an intense amount of work and learning involved. Due to the nature of the device, the design of the application was made to run on even the slowest device. Which lead me to the efficiency and scalability of my programming. My randomly generated questions was the basis of the Fisher-Yates shuffling algorithm which is fast enough to even shuffle through a thousand questions on the slowest iPhone.
Though during my time on development I still felt the need to go back to university and rediscover algorithms and data structures to gain a better foundation. I know this is the stepping stone I must pass and I believe the smaller class sizes at Deakin will greatly help grasp the difficult nature of the subject.
I want to study at Deakin University because of your hands-on practical approach, high standard of teaching and a flexible delivery of the course not just in time but the electives the course is able to offer. From speaking to the course advisor, I believe the course offers a well rounded degree from databases, data structures, software design, algorithms to game design.
I believe through my time spent working for myself, I have once again found my passion to work hard at not just achieving and completing goals but at the best possible results. For these reasons, I strongly aspire to secure admission into Deakin University to pursue an undergraduate studies. With this I know I can have a great foundation that will prepare me in programming, design and algorithm work.
Thanks for reviewing my 1st draft. I may have submited another post by accident, apologies in advance if it went through =/, it wasn't working so I decided to make an account to see if it worked.