'to carry out independent research' -Motivation Letter for School of Computer Science

Hi,

I need your help with my motivation letter.
I wrote the letter using this motivation letter (essayforum.com/graduate-admission-4/letter-motivation-applying-co mputer-science-related-fields-11858/) as a template. I'm intended to applied a graduate school program based on research in computer science field. Please help me with your review.

Thank you very much.

Dear Sir or Madam:
My purpose for applying to this doctoral program is to both expand on my solid education and to create more opportunities for myself to be a researcher in the future. I wish in particular to be trained at an advanced level in artificial intelligence, computational logic and algorithm. My ultimate goal is to become an expert in artificial intelligence and becoming a researcher in a university. I believe that advanced training in a graduate program of good quality will realize my dream.

As a highly motivated undergraduate majoring in Informatics Engineering at Institut Teknologi Bandung, I have gained hands-on experience in different research areas and leadership skills. Besides courses listed on my transcript, I did a lot of experiments in relation to these courses. I also had unique academic experiences through my role as an assistant in Computation Science and Engineering laboratory. Together with my adviser and my fellows, I spent numerous hours in the laboratory studying papers, experimenting new ideas and evaluating results. These days had given me an insight into the methodology of conducting research. These experiences solidly equip me for my graduate study.

My passion for computer science was not limited to a narrow range. My interest in artificial intelligence began from a long time ago when I'm playing a video game. Fascinated by the logic in those video games, I decided to major in informatics. I became more absorbed to the topic when I took the course and knowing how deep the subject is compared to the early assumption I had before. It is an ideal research area for aspiring computer scientists to keep current with the latest technologies and to make innovations.

I wish to delve deeper into the subjects to be able to carry out independent research and analysis and to follow it up with a PhD or serve in a research institution. My long-term goal is to be an expert in artificial intelligence and becoming a researcher. I am aware that my knowledge and experience pertaining to artificial intelligence is so insufficient. It is essential that I should fill in the gaps in my knowledge and experience with more hand-on-experience with research professional.

The desire to acquire these skills is one reason why I am attracted to the Saarbrucken Graduate School program. The Saarland University is well known for its excellence in the research of computer science field, complete with an accomplished faculty and modern research resources. I am also attracted by the program's inventiveness and uniqueness. The research experience it offered is very tantalizing for a person who wants to be a researcher. The facilities surround Saarland University is also the best to serve that purpose too.

I am confident that I will match the high standards set by your university and I will be able to greatly contribute to the program. For all these reasons, I strongly aspire to secure admission to pursue graduate studies, with adequate financial assistance in your program.

Sincerely,
Reza

This does not say anything. I'll tell you the same thing I just told someone else ... the main idea of the essay must be a specific idea.

You need a specific plan to help solve a particular problem. So what problem do you want to solve in this world?
I think you will agree that a reader is MOST inspired by a student who designs her or his education based on a strong desire to help solve a particular problem in this world.

An empty phrase like the one above should not be in the essay.


Not a goal... a goal is inspirational to the reader if it is the goal of solving a real problem, some problem to which we all can relate.

Do you see what I mean? Get focused on a practical plan to solve a real problem, and you will have a winning essay. :-))