LETTER TO A COUSIN; Directed writing O levels English

Question Directed Writing:

You recently had a quarrel with your friend...not in speaking terms with him now....write a letter to your cousin seeking his advice...Cover these points:[/b]

* How do you feel about it then

* How you feel about it now and what you want to do?

* Why you think your cousin is the best person to seek advice from?

Dear Ali,

How are you? Hope you are enjoying and I am also enjoying the winters. I was greatly pleased with your wise suggestion last time, it really solved my tensions. Now I am to disclose you another important matter and seek your advice.

You are the only one whom I am telling this as I think you being my close cousin and friend understands me better than others and would provide me with a feasible solution.

Ahmed is one my great friend at school and we enjoy great time together both at school and at home, as he is also my neighbor. We also have the same bus for transportation. It all began this Monday, when have sat down on my seat in the bus. I used to me first and sit on that seat daily but that day Ahmed managed to be earlier. I asked him to leave it but he turned a deaf ear to me and in my fury I used abusive word for him as well as I tried to grab him by his collar.

However, when I returned Home and calmly pondered over the whole incident I found every actions of mine witnessing my fault. I though how rude I have been for such a petty issue. Now only wish is to regain the lost friendship with Ahmad but don't know how to achieve it. So I wrote this all to you and now am hoping to get am advice from your side.

With Best regards, Saud Ahmed
Please check it for all kinds of error.This is written for GCE Cambridge O level English 1123 level.

hi...,

here we go...


What if you change into: you are my close cousin and friend, as well, who understand me...

I think I just could share a few corrections, while expecting for the next from others.

good luck
Thanks

.... This is what I suggest you to write;
I decided to discuss this incident with you to get your advice as you know me the best and understand my feelings better. ... now start telling him what happened. It should be said in this same paragraph. You can move to the other para to say how you feel about it and then asking him for a solution.

I was greatly pleased because of your great suggestion last time. It really relieved my tensions.


Ahmed is one my great friends at school...


Ahmed is my neighbor and one of my best friends. We enjoy great time together both at school and at home.


We also have the same bus service.


It all began this Monday when he sat down on my seat in the bus.


I used to sit first on that seat daily but that day Ahmed managed to be earlier.


I asked him to leave it but he seemed deaf to me and due to my insistence, I uttered harsh words to him and tried to grab his collar.

This is the Assessment Objectives To test the candidate's ability to: 1. write a letter which communicates information clearly, accurately and economically; 2. carry out the instructions as detailed on the question paper regarding the particular information required; 3. write in accurate standard English, using a style and tone appropriate to the task. Detailed Marking Instructions In Part 2, the candidate is to be rewarded as follows: (a) Content - 5 marks; (b) Language - 15 marks. (a) Content There are five specific pieces of information required in the letter. The 5 Content marks will be awarded on the basis of one mark per piece of information, given that the information is reasonable. It is obviously impossible to attempt to predict what candidates might say. Examiners must use their judgement and be prepared to be lenient when in doubt. Only reject information when it is illogical, irrelevant, or if it demonstrates that the candidate has not understood the situation or the task at all. Candidates should cover all five points given on the question paper but not necessarily with equal emphasis. (b) Language/Style The qualities to be rewarded are Accurate Standard English and Style and Tone appropriate to the task. The answer should be assessed by general impression, taking into consideration the variety of fresh vocabulary supplied, structural range and merits of linking and arrangement. Please be prepared to give credit to those candidates who can adapt their style to suit the needs of this particular writing task