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Cover Letter for Erasmus exchange programme - hope to receive good advice and letter correction


tameimpala13 1 / -  
Mar 10, 2016   #1
Hi, I am applying for exchange programme, I want someone to check it and say whether idea is clear or it is not. Is it concise? And whether some of the sentences are pointless or awkward. Thank You.

P.S gaps between the paragraphs, please check on that as well is it fit, or maybe too many

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in studying at the University of XY as an Erasmus student.

I was particularly attracted to the programme because of several benefit which it provides. This is great opportunity to enhance a range of personal and academic competencies. Location in the completely new area to see different approach managing the educational environment. And simply meet difficulties in order to solve them and gain worth experiences.

I am quite sure that the skills, abilities, values and knowledge acquired through the semester will play a crucial role in the projection of my further professional development. Those achievements will give me step forward to both academic and personal goals. The experience gained in an international environment full of advantages such as perceiving new points of view, exchanging knowledge, testing different approaches, and collaboration.

Tourism is considered to be the largest industry in the world, and it is about working with an international dimension. And it is essential to fit this condition. In addition, tourism in X is a major contributor to the national economic life, what suggest a strong emphasis on shaping leaders and professionals within the area. As well as it helps to create the similarity of the real workplace. I suppose that my skills and knowledge received during two years of studying tourism would be a helpful tool in the new approach. Global bachelor's degree in tourism at XY seems to be aimed more on strategy and business whereas my University has an emphasis on geography and leisure activity. I would be glad to compound this practice into a diploma.

My desire is to study new subjects, obtain competencies, and absorb as much helpful information as I can while abroad. Also, use the provided opportunities, sports club, open lectures, library. Join to International Club and enjoy everything that the University has to offer. Apart from my course I hope to take X language lessons, I never thought about learning X but this is precious chance and if I have it I will not omit it.

Finally, I'm convinced that teacher is the mentor whose role is to accompany students across their college lives, I think it is really important. I am looking forward joining your community and hope to achieve a precious experience of life and find new friends but to work hard and develop.

I wish to thank you in advance for your consideration.

Yours faithfully
XY
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Mar 14, 2016   #2
- My desire is to study new subjects( not necessary ) ,
- as much helpful information as
- Also, use the providedI would also use the opportunities,
- Join tothe International
- enjoyengulf myself with everything that the
- and if I have it I will not omit itwill not miss the chance .

- Finally, I'm am convinced
- that a teacher
- is the mentor whosehas a role
- is to accompany
- students get across their college lives,
- a preciousrather challenging yet rewarding experience
- ofin my life and find new friends
- but to work hard and develop my abilities to the best that I can .

Oleksandr, I made quiet a work for the last 2 paragraphs of your essay and I hope it helps. What I noticed is the lack of linking verbs, the verb form and the correlation or the flow of your essay. Honestly, you started good in your essay and consistency is the key, so for future writing reference, make sure that you keep your balance as well as the intelligent flow of the essay.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Mar 15, 2016   #3
Hi Oleksandr, it definitely makes us proud od what we do when we receive feedbacks from the students and writers alike. Now, as much as I want you to revise the essay soon, the Erasmus Mundus program is commencing, however, you have to think about the revision verg well. The program you are about to take part of is quiet a challenging yet rewarding one.

Furthermore, make sure that the revisions focus is on the highlight of your academic achievements, your academic aspirations as well as your contribution to the society following the completion of the program.

I hope to see the revised essay soon but no rush, no pressure just enjoy writing it and bear in mind that you are gunning for one of the most prestigious programs there is in the academic world. Best of luck!!!


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