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Critique my letter to the professor for my M.Sc application to Texas A&M


tranquilium 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
Dear Professor XXX:

How are you? I am an undergraduate student from University of Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, majoring in electrical engineering. I am interested in the possibility of obtaining Master of Science degree in electrical engineering at Texas A&M University under your guidance. I have attached my resume with this letter for your review.

I am currently working towards the Bachelor of Science degree, Honors Electrical Engineering. My expected graduation date is April, 2012. During my undergraduate study, I worked at a number of engineer firms across Ontario through the co-operative education program. My focus is on systems and power distribution. In particular, I worked for places such as Roger's wireless, Waterloo Regional Police Headquarter and Atomic Energy Canada Limited. My work included cellular tower design, building level network implementation and nuclear hot cell system analysis. I was also part of a research team at Mark IV industry, IVHS division on micro-power generation.

My personal skills and experiences include:
1. Identification and analysis of distributed networks (electrical, air, etc)
2. Design and implementation of data networks
3. System redundancy and safety evaluation
4. Data trend and program performance analysis
5. Working with multi-department teams

I become intimately aware of Texas A&M University's reputation in the field of electrical engineering through my father, who once considered working at Texas A&M University as visiting scholar. I am especially interested in your works on power system control. I wish to provide my contribution to your research as well as finding my own topics in the future.

I would like to start my study in Fall 2012. I eagerly await your reply.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

XXX
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Also, do I need to make mentions to GPA and transcripts in this kind of letter?

Any review and critique is greatly appreciated. :)
jult94 3 / 3  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
Remove the How are you? you are writing a formal letter not a greetings card. Also I would suggest not including your skills and experiences in list but briefly explain them in the letter. Good Luck!


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