The following is my Motivation letter, and please feel free to give me any comment!! Thank you very much !!
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My name is Gavin and I am an electronic hardware engineer. My major is Electronic Science and Technology in university. Since I graduated from Dongnan University in 2012, I have been working as a hardware engineer in Shenzhen-the electronic industry center of China. In my two years working experience, I have immersed myself into researching and developing network equipment products and triple play technology. I enjoy my job and I am benefited from taking part in communication and Internet equipment project. From my working experience, I can see the promising development of ICT, which played an important role in other fields such as business, transport, medical and entertainment. Now I have had a clear vision on my career plan and I know that it is necessary for me to perform higher learning in electronic engineering because my further research and development of ICT will benefit from my broad scope and implementation of advanced technology.
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Gavin, the essay you have written is quite informative. It presents complete information about your background as a student and as a professional. Although you are to be admired for such attention to detail, a motivation letter need not be overly informative nor long winded. There are actually some basic guidelines, similar to that of writing a statement of purpose that you can and should consider while you revise your letter. Just provide the necessary information for the reviewer to consider regarding your application. These are information such as:
1. Do you have any particular career objective that can be fulfilled by this higher level of academic proficiency? I assume you are applying for PhD studies? What course are you planning to pursue?
2. How does your choice of school help you achieve your career goals?
3. What can you tell them about your current and previous professional accomplishments that can relate to your plans for higher study? Do you have a purpose such as developing a specific program or piece of equipment that can help push your profession forward in the 21st century?
4. Explain what shortcomings you feel you have at the moment and how you view these studies as a step towards fixing your perceived inabilities.
A word of caution, just because this is called a motivation letter does not mean that it has to be written in the same letter format as a formal letter. This is still considered an academic essay and as such, does not require formal letter language. It does not need to start with "Dear" nor end with "Sincerely". Just write it the way you would write a normal application essay :-)
Remember, you are now a professional in a responsible career. There is no need to rehash your college studies or your masters studies in the essay. At the PhD level, the requirements all relate to your professional abilities already. What you learned on the job in a hands on environment is more important and revealing than the theoretical knowledge you gained in college and the masters level. Look even further forward into your career at this point. Show them that you want to leave your mark in this field by doing something remarkable and ask them to assist you in achieving that goal.
Dear MR. vangiespen, thank you very much for your sugestions and I have make some corrections, but because of my shortage of english vocabulary, gamma, and long sentence, it still looks like a bit long and complex, would you please help me to amend it to be tighter and more informative?
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The master program of electrical engineering in **** University can help me to finish the innovation in designing new products. In May 2014, my department decided to test a scheme that transfer 4G signal in cable line, and then built small base station outside apartments to help China Mobile Communication Corp enhance coverage of 4G signal. However, during the implementation stage, we came across many challenges in lab. For example, the attenuation of the cable line, the design of power amplify and signal interference and electromagnetic radiation impact to human health. The lack of practice and knowledge in Communication, Antennas and RF circuit made me difficult to solve these problems. The programs including but is not limited to Advanced analog design, Advanced Modulation and coding, High-speed Electronic, HF Systems will trained me having technique ability to implement my innovation in electronic products rather than let the innovation stagnate in conception stage.
The higher level of learning in ****** University will help me to focus on researching and developing ICT technologies of the future. From March 2014, I involved some projects about 4G mobile communication and WIFI. Our clients have already applied our network equipment and image system in telesurgery system and public transport system. I know that ICT have closely connected with other fields such as medical, transport and business and it is engines of innovation in other fields. This trend will make ICT networks bear the burdens of more-more devices, more content and more uses. And I also believe that the demand for ICT network resources will be urgent as the need for oil or electricity. Facing these challenges, the development of 4G, high performance WIFI, the Internet of Things, or big data will help alleviate these burdens. The future development of ICT is exciting, flourishing and full of chances, so I am eager to solve these underlying challenges and devote my innovation in future ICT technologies.
Besides the suitable master programs, another reason I choose to study in c University is that I will have chances to work or internship in the top institutes in the world. Belgium's information and communication technology sector is flourishing and Flanders is also home to several ICT institutes, such as IMEC and iMinds. ****** University is an active research partner of these institutes so I can took part in the most advanced project. And I will work with the most excellent electronic engineers in Europe so both my ability to research and work habit will benefit from the experience. I also know that Belgian are kind and receptive to people from different culture, this atmosphere will contribute to good teamwork which is a very important fact for research.
My work experience and knowledge of electronics laid the foundation to do further research. And also, I am good at studying on my own. The clients of our company keep raising new requirement for our production. They want to have network equipment with wider bandwidth, more stable and more functions. In order to do my job successfully, I kept learning every day. Truly hope that I was given the chance to to learn the program of electronic engineering in ****** University.
Hao, it is MS. not MR. :-) Unfortunately, the motivation letter that you wrote does not work very well for your purpose yet. It is still overly long, does not contain enough of the correct information, and suffers from a lack of direction. I am going to assume that you are not comprehending my instructions well enough for you to be able to properly revise the letter. Let me try to restate the method of writing this letter in a simpler form.
When you write your motivation letter, think of why YOU want to complete this course of higher learning. Do you want to invent something new? Change something that you think does not work well? What are your reasons/ motivations for striving to learn more about this particular field? After that, tell the reader how you plan to make those changes. By telling us how you think you can make these changes happen, you can connect the need for higher learning and thus, create a stronger motivation for yourself in the letter. Write about these topics in the simplest way you can. I will try to see what I can do to help you raise the level of your writing from there. Right now, the letter does not reflect your personality, desires, or motivations. It is very dry, overly informative in and irrelevant way, and does not really set up your motivation for higher learning in the proper manner.
