Hi! This is letter of recommendation for the application from my Principal could You reading, modification and advice will be highly appreciated. My principal told me to make it on my own, and he just signed it.
Letter of Recommendation for Scholarship
As the high school principal, I know haider ali as a excelled student. All along, ali has shown good ability booth in academic results and in social life. The first time I knew ali was when I was going to select the committee for Students National Skills Competition, and the teacher from his major chose ali for the presentation and video section. With the critical idea that he was able to demonstrated how to store the mail or the archives in a power point slide combined with the video, not only that did I see that he was able Foreigners from Malaysia interested to our school, it is looking like he had good communication skills.
Around 2017 Pt Amman Mineral Nusa Tenggara former Pt Newmont sent a letter to our school, asking 4 students to assist at the human resources department, of course I chose an office department that I felt was in line with what was requested and the teacher of the office department suggested haider ali, since he is the best student in his department, as long as in there he brings the good name of the school. Even in 2018 PT Amman Mineral Nusa Tenggara also asked again from our school, without a doubt I selected 4 students including ali. Even on our school yearbook , I chose him to be a committee, because he is someone I can trust and take responsibility.
Ali was basically one of the recipients of the smart Indonesian program from government, a program for high-achieving but financially troubled students, so I was happy to hear he wanted to continue his education in South Korea with business majors. He was a good, diligent student who always had the highest rank and even got the highest national exam score in his the department, and he had been the class leader for three years and that was proof that he could be trusted by his friends and also by his teachers.
I believe that ali will be able to compete in the future with the experience he has had, even though she is a rather bored person as it is while working on project Students National Skills Competition, I saw him doing outdoor his work and moving around, where I think it's him way of dealing with his boredom. He has great potential, I believe he can create something new with his creative ideas. I gave ali my highest recommendation, and I hope that he will be admitted to your university and will contribute to the university, to South Korea and to Indonesia.@HaiderAli
Hi there! Welcome to the forum. Hopefully, this feedback will give you an idea on how to revise this essay.
Firstly, be cautious of the small grammatical and technical lapses in your writing. While it was great how you had incorporated quite a lot of details into your writing from the very beginning, you could have still tried to patch everything together with a more profession and academic flow. I would heavily recommend giving general appraisals and an outline of the essay's flow on the first paragraph. Move all of the details into the body itself (second paragraph onward). This will give more structure to your writing.
Furthermore, the last paragraph appears to be confusing. When you mention that the individual is a "bored person," it doesn't really bring out any appeal for your writing. Try to be more distinguished and creative when giving descriptions. I am fairly certain there are better ways to package the attitude and drive other than this one.
