Like many, I received a rejection letter from my dream school. Truthfully, I didn't put my full effort into my initial statement, and before I accept that I was rejected, I need to know I gave it my best. I have the option to appeal, so I've drafted something. Please let me know what I am missing from this letter, or if the content needs to be changed.
Thank you for your help and advice!
Dear UC Berkeley Appeals Committee,
After receiving a rejection decision from UC Berkeley, I was extremely disappointed. I knew that when I applied, my GPA was in the top 25% of admitted students based from last year's admission class. I truly feel I would be a great candidate for admissions to your school, because of the basis of experiences I have acquired since applying to UCB. Since my last application, I firmly believe my professional experiences have helped me to enhance my trajectory as a student and as an active member in the community.
Such experiences include my position as an AVID teacher for the Santa Clara Unified School District, where I played an integral role in mentoring middle and high school students in preparing for college, through enhancing individual determination. Through my involvement I have learned that cultivating underserved students to be innovative thinkers has crystallized my desire to help students from underserved communities. In addition to AVID, I am working as a Client Coordinator at a college planning business, and I help students and parents navigate the landscape of college admissions. Through these interactions, I have been able to work with diverse constituencies in the Bay Area and in doing so, I have developed a greater resolve in assisting the community. In addition, I firmly believe that my work experiences have been a substantial compliment to my academic achievement. Although it isn't the scope of my profession and the experiences differ from my intended major, they have nonetheless solidified my desire to work in improving the quality of life as a speech therapist.
I firmly believe that the training I receive in the linguistics department will be an important starting point for my career in speech therapy. I thoroughly admire how the linguistics program at UC Berkeley provides an important balance of theoretical training and practice in its curricular approach. I believe the experiences gained at UC Berkeley will be invaluable, as I continue my path to becoming a speech therapist.
Again, I fully understand and respect your decision to deny me admission, but you will reconsider your offer with this new information. I was tremendously impressed with UC Berkeley's faculty and programs when I visited during Cal Day, and it remains the school I would most like to attend.