Hello Ahmad. Yikes... an environment issue essay... My least favorite essay topics... Well let me start with your introduction thesis statement
Thus, this essay is targeting to address the main causes of the matter and suggest some practical solutions, as well as, the roles that industries and ordinary people can play to help raise the issuewill be argued .
You just said in the beginning that this essay will address... so I don't know why you'd put another verb(will be argued) at the end... Also, the sentence formation is really confusing
It should go like this----> Thus, this essay is targeting to address (1.) the main causes of the matter, (2.) some practical solutions, and (3.) the roles industries and public should be assigned to raise the issue.
7000 tons of solid industrial wastes are produced every day that the vast majoritypart of this volume of garbage are buried or discharged in waters,
You should change THAT to AND because you are telling a new phrase with a noun and a verb. The noun being majority and the verb being are buried or discharged.
The vast majority part of this volume of garbage. Very awkward wording if you ask me... Keep it simple, keep it practical. Change to ---> the vast majority of garbage
wild lives---> wildlife. (you mean the ecosystem and environment right?)
This is the main reason why in metropolises like Beijing or Tehran the municipal wastes have changed into a big issue.
State your noun and verb before you go too deep into prepositions. ----> This is the main reason why the municipal wastes have changed into a big issue in metropolises like Beijing or Tehran.
turned back to the nature.
Odd wording... If you mean these decomposed elements go back where they came from, words like 'revert' or 'return' might be better.
If you want to use this transition, make sure you put the transition 'First' before you use it. Otherwise just use 'the other solution is...'
In my opinion, companies should shoulder the more portions of responsibilities.
An article is unneeded there.
In light of the above-mentioned facts, one can conclude that the roots of the environmental issues originated from solid and liquidwastes can be traced in bad management of garbage and concentration of population in big cities.
you need a determiner between solid and liquid wastes and can. Something simple like 'That' will fit. (Do you see my pun? :D)
If we will to create
----> If we were to create
need to collaborate to decrease
-----> repeated use of 'to' something like 'in order to' will do better.
I see you've done some research... Since I'm really bad at science, I have no idea the quality of this essay so I can't
say anything to that. I hope you find my revisions helpful!