Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Letters   % width Posts: 5


Garbage is a big global issue nowadays: Discuss on causes and suggest solutions


ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 22, 2015   #1
This topic was one of the toughest topics I have written about. I have never seen a topic with three separate questions included :( looking forward to hearing your suggestions :) Thanks in advance :)

Topic: Nowadays the amount of garbage we produce is increasing and it becomes a global problem. Please say
- What are the reasons behind this?
- What can be done to solve this problem?
- Who should take more responsibility, companies or individuals?


The fast paced advancement of technology has changed the appearance of the world through last few decades. Technology has led to the creation of many industries, producing the liquid and solid wastes that adversely affect the environment. However, to solve the problem, finding the causes of the problem is in priority. Thus, this essay is targeting to address the main causes of the matter and suggest some practical solutions, as well as, the roles that industries and ordinary people can play to help raise the issue will be argued.

Inappropriate wastes management is counted as the most significant reason, leading to the worldwide environmental problems. In Tehran, the capital of Iran, as an example, 7000 tons of solid industrial wastes are produced every day that the vast majority part of this volume of garbage is buried or discharged in waters, such as rivers or lakes, threatening many wild lives due to the toxic nature of the wastes. In addition, the immigration of people from rural to urban areas has resulted in an increase in the population density in cities, causing the production of more wastes at those regions. This is the main reason why in metropolises like Beijing or Tehran the municipal wastes have changed into a big issue.

One of the best solutions with regard to waste disposal is the use of modern disposal methods. Anaerobic digestion technology is a new approach for discarding wastes, through which waste materials are decomposed to non-poisonous elements that can be turned back to the nature. Second, since the immigration of individuals from villages to cities is the root of high amount of municipal wastes, authorities should conduct measurements to reduce the increasing trend of immigration. To meet this end, agricultural industries must be developed. For example, the government can help farmers by allocating subsidies to the plantation costs like the water price.

In my opinion, companies should shoulder the more portions of responsibilities. In fact, the application of more suitable management of wastes is something that is out of normal people's province. Moreover, industries can reduce the percentage of harmful wastes by filtering toxic materials and following environmental standards like ISO 14000, which is in direct relationship with the environment.

In light of the above-mentioned facts, one can conclude that the roots of the environmental issues originated from solid and liquid wastes can be traced in bad management of garbage and concentration of population in big cities. If we will to create a cleaner and liveable environment for the next generation, both the government and companies need to collaborate to decrease the amount of wastes by systematic investments and implementation of alternative disposal methods.
kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Jan 22, 2015   #2
Hello Ahmad. Yikes... an environment issue essay... My least favorite essay topics... Well let me start with your introduction thesis statement

Thus, this essay is targeting to address the main causes of the matter and suggest some practical solutions, as well as, the roles that industries and ordinary people can play to help raise the issuewill be argued .

You just said in the beginning that this essay will address... so I don't know why you'd put another verb(will be argued) at the end... Also, the sentence formation is really confusing

It should go like this----> Thus, this essay is targeting to address (1.) the main causes of the matter, (2.) some practical solutions, and (3.) the roles industries and public should be assigned to raise the issue.

7000 tons of solid industrial wastes are produced every day that the vast majoritypart of this volume of garbage are buried or discharged in waters,

You should change THAT to AND because you are telling a new phrase with a noun and a verb. The noun being majority and the verb being are buried or discharged.

The vast majority part of this volume of garbage. Very awkward wording if you ask me... Keep it simple, keep it practical. Change to ---> the vast majority of garbage

wild lives

wild lives---> wildlife. (you mean the ecosystem and environment right?)

This is the main reason why in metropolises like Beijing or Tehran the municipal wastes have changed into a big issue.

State your noun and verb before you go too deep into prepositions. ----> This is the main reason why the municipal wastes have changed into a big issue in metropolises like Beijing or Tehran.

turned back to the nature.

Odd wording... If you mean these decomposed elements go back where they came from, words like 'revert' or 'return' might be better.

Second, since

If you want to use this transition, make sure you put the transition 'First' before you use it. Otherwise just use 'the other solution is...'

In my opinion, companies should shoulder the more portions of responsibilities.

An article is unneeded there.

In light of the above-mentioned facts, one can conclude that the roots of the environmental issues originated from solid and liquidwastes can be traced in bad management of garbage and concentration of population in big cities.

you need a determiner between solid and liquid wastes and can. Something simple like 'That' will fit. (Do you see my pun? :D)

If we will to create

----> If we were to create

need to collaborate to decrease

-----> repeated use of 'to' something like 'in order to' will do better.
I see you've done some research... Since I'm really bad at science, I have no idea the quality of this essay so I can't

say anything to that. I hope you find my revisions helpful!
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 22, 2015   #3
Hey Ahmed, this type of essay writing is difficult to write if you are not widely read, are unfamiliar with the topic, or just do not enjoy writing this type of essay. As a practice test though, I can understand why it was given to you as a topic. This is the kind of test that is meant to help you increase your knowledge of current events and world problems that may or may not come up as possible IELTS essay topics. Needless to say, you should not have rushed the writing of this essay and instead, done some background work on it prior to drafting this essay. There are 3 topics because those are the commonly referred to questions about the issue of garbage collection worldwide. If you have calbe TV I suggest that you try to catch the program Trashopolis on National Geographic as this show deals with the problem of global garbage, its history, and the possible 21st century solutions to the problem.

The essay definitely feels rushed. There is very little development and direct response to the questions being posed. Taking time to have done some research using the questions as keywords would definitely have helped to make the paper you wrote better. Currently, it reads as it you were just providing responses to get the test over with. There is a lack of insight and deeper understanding of the questions and issues surrounding it. Your response to how the problem could be dealt with was quite technical in nature, leaving the laymen readers to question what ISO 1400 is all about.

The language though, is quite professional, direct to the point and tries to be analytical. I realize that you wrote this under time pressure but like I said before, this is not an ordinary essay question and it had a purpose for posing 3 questions. While you did respond to every question, it was really short and did not really offer the kind of responses one would expect of such an essay.

You are steadily improving grammatically and I applaud your knowledge of how and when to use certain grammatical rules. Just keep practicing and you will soon discover that your writing prowess has vastly improved :-)
Burki 3 / 6  
Jan 22, 2015   #4
Try improving your grammar rather than using better vocabulary. There are places where an impactful sentence written in simple english can go a long way.
OP ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jan 22, 2015   #5
This is the first time I'm going to post a comment like this: Do you think this short negative sentence would help me to improve my writing? Jut to open a new thread you wrote this useless sentence. Sorry, it is useless cause it does not help at all. Hope I never get any comments from you again


Home / Letters / Garbage is a big global issue nowadays: Discuss on causes and suggest solutions
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳