To : Rachmad Bagus R
25 Oktober 2016
Assalamualaikum Wr.Wb.
Thanks a lot for your letter , i am happy reading your letter, because i can know about you.
I am nineteen years old , and i am from Jombang East Java , and now i study in Unipdu college Jombang East Java
I live in peterongan with my family , and now my hobby is playing guitar because music is my life , so i always play music every day , this is my hobby now , i also has favorite food , my favorite food is bakso , mie ayam , rujak , nasi goreng , and many more...
That's all from me , brother
Tell me more about you now...
Wassalamualaikum Wr.Wb.
Hudan Aminulloh
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783 Hi Hudan, your letter shows a lot of promise with regards to your possible improvement in the use of the English language. Let me show you how your letter could be improved by concentrating on the development of sentence structure:
I was very happy to have received your letter. I am very thankful that you had the time to write to me. I would like to let you get to know me better. It's only fair since you told me so much about yourself in your letter.
I am nineteen year old and from Jombang, East Java. I am currently studying at Unipdu College, Jombang. My family and I live in Peterongan. Guitar playing is currently my favorite hobby. When it comes to food, my favorites are...
Can you tell me more about your family and where you live in your next letter? I would like to know about your favorites as well.
That's all from me ,
brother
Pay attention to your use of capital letters when writing the name of nouns. Try to construct simple, but complete sentences whenever possible. Your letter is good. There is a great chance of improvement on your part over the coming days.