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I hope you are always in good condition. UNIPDU FT_D - Letter To ms.Inna


kikiyanti 1 / 1  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
Jombang, October 27, 2016

Dear Nur Inayatul Wafia

Assalamu'alaikum, Wr. Wb.

Hi friend how are you? I hope you are always in good condition. there has been a flurry of what? until there is no news. Another time playing my house, OK

I miss you so much. many small children at home, my house used to play. besides that my house is also facing the highway, so that my house is never empty. ideal for relaxing if a lot of busyness. I wait for your arrival Miss Inna, thanks for reading my email.

Wassalamu'alaikum, Wr. Wb.

your friend
Miftachurrizqi Yanti
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
Hi Yanti,
Welcome to EssayForum :)

I can see that most of your friends who are working on this type of letter experience the same structural problems. Therefore, I would like to help you composing a better draft. Hopefully, you can learn something by reading my alternative version below.

Jombang, October 27th, 2016

Dear Nur Inayatul Wafia,
Assalamu'alaikum Wr. Wb.

Hi Inna! How are you? I hope you are always in a good condition. Is there any problems or what? I did not hear any news from you for quite a long time.

I miss you so much. Even, many small children at my home also miss you a lot. Did you remember my house that we used to play? I just want to inform you that I have moved into a new house. My new house faces the highway, so my house is never quiet. Perhaps, it is the ideal place for relaxing if we have a lot of activities. I am currently waiting for your arrival Inna. Thank you for reading my email.

Wassalamu'alaikum Wr. Wb.

Your Friend,
Miftachurrizqi Yanti


Honestly, I am a little bit confused when reading your letter when you say that your house is never empty and it becomes the ideal place for relaxing? how come? it seems illogical I think. Try to think about new ideas. Normally, people would say that if their house is noisy, they can't rest/relax there. They need a quite place to relax. What do you think?

Hope this helps :)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,726 4766  
Oct 27, 2016   #3
Mifta, try to revise the letter. Use my version below as a sample of how to properly develop the message you want to convey:

Hi Inna, its been so long since I last heard from you. I hope you are doing well. What's been keeping you busy? I hope you can come over to my house to play sometime. I miss how we played as children here. My house is currently never empty of children to play with, even though it faces a highway. The location is actually conducive to certain business types. I wish you could come visit me sometime. Thanks for reading my letter. I hope to hear from you when you have the time.

I did not correct the format of your letter because I do not understand your language. So I just concentrated on improving the content and message of the letter instead. I hope it helps you.
OP kikiyanti 1 / 1  
Nov 4, 2016   #4
@ichanpants89 @Holt

Thank you very much..


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