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Letter of Intent for undergrad Turkey Burslari scholarship application - Computer science degree

Ahmed adobewan 1 / 3  
Mar 15, 2021   #1
Good day all! I intend to use this sample which I used for the Turkey scholarship application to base my future letter of intent on. Kindly make some suggestions as to how I can make this more effective. Any and all criticism, no matter how harsh, is highly valued and your time is greatly appreciated. Prompts are as follows,

explain the following details: your academic and social experiences relating to the field you want to take an education in, your reasons for choosing Turkey for study, and the importance of your future plans for your education and scholarship in Turkey. You can write the letter of intent in the language you can express yourself.

My essay:

letter of intent

Coming to Pakistan after living abroad, I was deeply moved by the suffering among its citizens due to low average agricultural yields leading to food shortages. Pakistan ranks 88th among 107 countries in the Global Hunger Index 2020 and 26 million people remain underfed. I believe salvation lies in AI, which can help untrained farmers plan better by using weather forecasts, analyzing soil and crop health, and taking all data into account to suggest optimum water and fertilizer usage, and timely harvesting at faster rates than humans. Implementing this would require the expertise of AI specialists, which spiked my interest in this field.

I have expertise in analytical and logical thinking which have aided me in maintaining A grades in mathematics and currently, I am studying under a merit-based scholarship. My Pre-Engineering coursework provided me an in-depth knowledge of advanced mathematics which motivated me further to pursue this degree. Professionally, I developed the skill to Photoshop and build websites which I used to freelance online. During my participation in a science exhibition at the ISW 2019, I took part in preparing machine learning algorithms. This inspired me to learn programming in python from free online courses.

After completing my 4 years degree, I plan to pursue further specialization in AI so I can apply what I learned in Pakistan and contribute to the development of agriculture which can increase food security. I am a goal-oriented person and also have shifted countries and perfectly managed to adapt to my environment, learning to be a team player in doing so. My long-term goal is to introduce AI in Pakistan's agriculture and aid its development. I aspire to make it efficient and economical, by using AI that can plant crops, fertilize seeds, detect diseases at faster rates. On a wide scale, this can solve the food crisis of Pakistan. Thus, I must receive my education from prestigious Turkish universities, allowing me to develop collaborations between the two nations.

I am attracted to Turkey due to its high standards of education and ranking of universities among the top 500 in the world. Traditional methods of teaching in Pakistan impose hurdles in the development of AI as courses are irrelevant to the demands of the market. These institutions lack the quality of teaching and have an outdated curriculum. Turkey, on the other hand, has been increasingly investing in education and automation, spending 113.6 billion liras in 2014. Other factors include the initiatives carried out towards publications in AI, ranking Turkey 16th in the world in addition to AKINROBOTICS being the first robot factory in the world. These characteristics reflect on the quality of education as evident from alumni's reviews, thus I strongly aspire to secure admission in Turkey and I am confident that I will be able to match with the high standards of its institutions.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 16, 2021   #2
A sincere and serious applicant will never reuse an old essay, reformat an old essay, or try to pass off an old essay a new one. If you have previously used this essay, and the scholarship committee decides to check it for plagiarism, then your previous work will be found online or, in their files. If you do not have any new, pertinent information to present, which will make you an improved candidate for the scholarship, then do not apply at all. You may mention, as a part of the full transparency aspect of the application that you were a previous applicant who did not get the scholarship. However, your situation has improved since then, and you want to call their attention to these changes under this new application. Refer as little as possible to your old essay because the reviewers are more interested in your improved skills and information, not what you were in the past. Think about it, if you failed to get the scholarship the last time using that information, why do you think you can use it again now for the same application? What makes you think that information will help you this time around?
OP Ahmed adobewan 1 / 3  
Mar 18, 2021   #3

I'm sorry I should've been more clear with what I intend to do with this sample, I will never reuse a failed essay but I want to follow a similar pattern and I need to be made aware of the potential holes there may be in this one, I just used this last month but I need to apply to more programs still, different countries. So I don't know if this essay worked or not so far but I'm assuming it has many faults I need to avoid. Although I do admit you caught me trying to reformat an old essay so thank you for calling me out on that, do you have any advice as to how I could've made this essay more effective?

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