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'Me and Japan' - Personal Statement Letter needed for Japanese School in Tokyo


remy123 1 / -  
Aug 1, 2012   #1
Hi,
I have been looking for schools in Tokyo to study Japanese language and Japanese culture, I found a school which replied to me that they had a place for me there but they also needed a "Word Personal Statement".

I need help writing an essay about Me and Japan.

What I wrote:
The Japanese culture dates back to 10000 B.C with many fascinating periods
and events, They span from the days of the samurai and shogun to recent
days. That why, Studying in Jpan is on the top tier of my priorities. In
the following moments I will attempt to highlight some of the many unique
things Japan insipres me with.

Japan, The land of the rising sun is roughly the size of California and
yet, it has more to offer than the most countries put together. The
capital of Japan is one of the greatest cities in the world(According to
me, although I have never visited Tokyo). it's rich culture drives me to
learning, Japan has an interesting history, mythology, art, literature,
calligraphy, theater and modern tech fads such as anime, comic books and
video games.

I'm like the most, its a dream to go to Japan one day. I can not think of
any person who would speak ill of Japan and it's culture, It will be very
nice experiencing it first hand. Studying the language and the culture is
something that everyone should do.
Japan is one of the most developed countries in the world. I don't know
everything about Japan, certainly not enough, But I am desperately eager
to learn.

But I think it's a bit unproffesional and meaningless. I really need help!

Sincere Regards,
Daniel
irenles - / 1  
Aug 1, 2012   #2
For a "personal" statement, your essay is not personal enough. It needs to be less about what you think about Japan and more about how Japan has affected you as a person and the things you do.


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