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Motivation letter for bachelor's degree in International business


volt32 1 / -  
Apr 11, 2011   #1
Please, look if everything is correct!!!

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During the past three years I studied economics in school and it was really helpful for me. After my participation in regional business plans competition I perceived that business education would be the best one for me after I left the school.

One of the main reasons for my desire to apply for your bachelor's degree is that in Russia there are no such programs at universities that are free of charge. As I know, Finnish education system is one of the best in the Europe and there I can get not only traditional "How-to-do-it" skills but take part in real-life projects, conduct experiments and how the real business works. With these skills and knowledge I can be successful in global business and work for modern, innovative companies. In the light of growing globalization it is going to be very important.

I have been to Finland once (in 2008) and this trip was really amazing and impressing! I learned a lot about Finland and its culture, sights, people and their traditions.

I like sport, music and art. Since I visited Finland I have been interested in Finnish music, especially in folk and metal. And, of course, food was really delicious there.

My cherished dream is to launch my own business. In Russia sometimes it can be difficult because of corruption and other risks but not in Finland. If I have an opportunity, I will open there a network of gyms because I have some business plans and ideas in this field. Of course, starting business abroad is risky but I'm not afraid of it.

To summarize the information above, I want to say that I have prepared a lot so I am ready to study abroad. From all universities I met I have chosen the best one - *** University. I feel that your university is one of the best to study my wished programme and *** is beautiful city to live and enjoy studying.

Yours sincerely,
***

AmyCarol 1 / 6  
Apr 12, 2011   #2
"During the past three years I studied economics in school and it was really helpful for me. "

When you say the study of economics, in your first paragraph, "was really helpful", it is most likely currently helpful, therefore, it should read "is really helpful." Also, it is implied that the study of economics is helpful to you ("for me.") and not another, so it doesn't need to be stated.

However, strong second paragraph with good background information.

Still, try "The most significant reason" or "A significant reason" instead of "One of the main reasons" as your second paragraph's opening.

Also, in your second paragraph you write, "'How-to-do-it skills'" -- when really, this is incorrect, as this isn't a quote. You mean instructional teaching methods, or so. When you write, "take part in real-life projects" try "participate in interactive projects."

When you write, "conduct experiments and how the real business works." consider dropping the "the" place "learn" after "and" to clarify things a bit. Also, try "functions" instead of "works" and "actual" instead of "real", as this also helps clarify your point.

In your third paragraph you write, " I like sport, music and art. Since I visited Finland I have been interested in Finnish music, especially in folk and metal. And, of course, food was really delicious there." consider, " I like art, music, and sports, as I have visited Finland and became interested in their music, especially Finnish folk and metal. Of course, their food is really delicious"

I really hope you accomplish your "cherished dream" to study abroad, and I hope my advice is useful.


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