If someone reads the book "The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History", he'll observe that there are lots of scientists on that list. Scientist were the people who changed the course of history. As a teenager, I always fascinated by the science and scientists. But as a Pakistani, I found really few role models who can really inspire the youngsters to be a great scientist. No doubt that Pakistan did produce some great scientist Like Dr Abdus Salaam, Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan and Dr Ata Ur Rahman but the numbers are few. These scarce numbers in scientific field doesn't justify the talent we have as a nation. This negative aspect of my country motivated me to take a lead and I opted for a scientific career. It was hard for the person with a low financial background and who was also suffering from extreme cataract disease to continue his education, But it was hard not impossible. Cataract disease and financial hardships didn't halt my intentions for higher studies, Thanks to good grades, which help me to study in government institutions. It was my high school Professor of industrial chemistry who waken in me the enthusiasm for chemical engineering. Immediately after my high school, I took admission in the Chemical Engineering department of one of the top ranking engineering university.
The four years of university were life changing, because I didn't just learn the engineering concept, but the interaction with the people of diverse background, participation in society, humanitarian and sports activities instill in me the core values of morality and skills of life. In my 2nd semester of bachelors, I with my friends started a charity organization for the unprivileged ones, we used to collect funds from university students and from those funds we used to distribute rations to needy people. I had the honor to be the general secretary of the local chapter of the American Chemical Society, this position gave me a chance to organize several events. I also participated in the All Pakistan University Athletic Championship, although I didn't win, but still that 400m race gave me the lesson that you should give your best regardless of the result. Throughout my four years, I studied engineering with keen interest and understanding, although I didn't have positions but my understanding of the subjects is commendable. I don't believe in gaining the highest marks but rather the highest level of understanding.
After graduation, I got hired as a Trainee Project Engineer by Allied Engineering and services limited. Working on a power project and that to be in a remote area like Tharparkar was a life time experience. I played my part in completion of that project and gained valuable experience. That project job not only gave me the experience of project management and learning practical things, but I also learned how to adjust in different atmospheres, how to deal in a pressure situation and how to be responsible. Now I want to pursue my dream of becoming a researcher. Chemical engineers have a role in this changing world, I know this from the beginning of my career. Our world is facing severe climate change problems and unless we don't totally shift from fossil fuels to renewable energy, we shouldn't expect any change. This is the reason, and along with the passion for research and science that I wanted to continue my studies and pursue my career as a researcher. Master in Biological and Chemical Engineering for a sustainable Bioeconomy would be great opportunity for me, because this program is designed to tackle climate Problems and their vision is to transfer world into biofuels. The courses in this program, like bioprocess Engineering, Biopolymers and materials would help me to learn about biofuels and their impact on economies. This program would also give me the opportunity to work in top class industrial facilities of the world and to gain valuable experience. Diversity is another aspect which is fascinating me about this program. I am of the opinion that diversity really help person to understand different cultures.I really admire Elon musk and his passion for science, in one of his interviews he said that, his goal is to serve the humanity, with this inspiration in my mind, I also want to contribute to the world community and Pakistani community through science.
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Did you bother to read the requirements for the letter of motivation for the Erasmus Mundus scholarship? I ask because your essay does not offer the required information as provided by the motivational letter prompts. This sounds more like a college application essay than an international scholarship motivational application essay. You totally missed the mark with this essay. It does not contain any information that the reviewer needs to understand why you would want to become an EM scholar. You need to delete this essay and write a new one that properly focuses on the following EM motivational letter requirements:
1. Your professional career observations focused on the aspects that you feel can be improved
2. Why you are motivated to be the person to implement these changes
3. Why you chose this masters course in relation to the problems you wish you solve
4. How your choice of university fits into your academic and professional plans
5. What you hope to achieve at the end of the course
6. How the EM program suits your ambitions, goals, and needs as a student
7. Why your motivation makes you a good candidate for the scholarship
Try to cover all of these aspects within the maximum word count. Make sure not to over discuss any topic. If written properly, you should be able to present all 7 factors within 5-6 paragraphs.