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Motivation Letter for Master program at Nürnberg University, Germany; 'garnering a wealth of ideas'

Pryda 1 / -  
Jan 14, 2018   #1
Hello everyone , Am applying for master degree in Nürnberg Uni .
Below is my Motivation letter and i hope to be review before give me green line to submit.
Based on my understanding from forums i divide my letter into 4 paragraphs .
First Para : Intro
Second Para : I explained why i need to apply for this master program ?? explaining also my long term plan .
Third Para : I explained why i choose this university ??
Fourth Para : Ending
please i need your comment am i in the right line or there are some mistakes ??

Three reasons that motivate me to apply for this program

Dear Sir or Madam,

Over the past few decades technology has been used as a tool to bring the world closer together and to help solve some of our greatest challenges in our various aspects. Working generally in ICT industry for about 6 years made me more passionate about the importance of ICT systems and the impact it can make when the right application is done.

Three reasons motivate me to apply for a Master's degree study in (Advanced Signal Processing and Communications Engineering), taught entirely in English. Firstly, expanding both my solid education and create more opportunities for my career in the future. My long term plan is to become a consultant in ICT field especially in Mobile and Computer Networks which helps in construction and designing developed communication systems in Egyptian ICT industry. More significantly, that Egypt has achieved vital progress in building Information Society (IS) but it has generated various weaknesses in Information and Communication Technology system specially Computer Network Infrastructure inside enterprises and factories. Thus, it is undoubtedly that my professional projects after completing the Master program in Germany is to record much more tools in ICT systems and certain level of knowledge in society management which shall create opportunity and confidence necessary to work and contribute to the innovation of my region. Second reason, living in the country which has world's fourth largest ICT market and born Conrad Zuse inventor of the world's first programmable computer. Lastly, breathing the international atmosphere and integrating with English and German speaking people in order to develop a third language. This is undoubtedly one of the motivations for studying in a country as multicultural as Germany.

The opportunity to pursue a master's course in Germany represents the next important challenge in my life and momentous millstone to step up onto PhD situation. The last three years have taught me that studying and living abroad can help not only broaden my horizons but also accelerate my personal and academic growth as well. The main reason choosing (FAU Erlangen-Nürnberg) is the outstanding educational system that the institution offers, a winter school that complements the scientific education with soft-skills, in general and projects and people management and business development, in particular. In addition, the study program includes not only one six-month master thesis but three research projects.

In concluding, irrespective of high application prerequisites of this Master course, I am determined to make the most out of this Master course benefits. My international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to program. Furthermore, I will optimize my stay at (FAU Erlangen-Nürnberg) to garner a wealth of ideas that will immediately apply when I return to my country and at the same time contribute to the University's diversity.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Best Regards
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,527 3444  
Jan 14, 2018   #2
Sameh, if the motivational letter does not come with a maximum word count, you should consider expanding your discussions in the motivation section and the university program choice sections. These are pivotal parts of the motivation letter that you need to reiterate through a detailed explanation to the reviewer. Take a paragraph each for every motivation that you have. Thresh out the details of your motivation so that your passion for your profession and desire to improve through this learning process becomes highly evident and impressive in presentation. As for the university choice, your current statement is too generalized. The reviewer needs to know how you plan to spend your time as a student. So declaring your possible research thesis in accordance with the abilities of the university to provide you with the required experience in terms of mentor programs under their professors, becoming a student aide to a professor in order to gain additional knowledge, or even the training / internship / exchange programs of the university during the semester will help to increase information about you as a potential student. While the essay you wrote is almost automated in the sense that it delivers the required elements, it doesn't deliver on informing the reviewer about you in an interesting and relevant manner. Hopefully, your revised essay, based on my suggestions, can help you achieve that.

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