Hello,
I am applying for masters program in financial management at a university. The University requires a letter of motivation. Please have a look at my Letter of Motivation and suggest improvements or changes.
energy, motivation and diversity
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this motivation letter in relation to my masters application at X University. As a Bachelor graduate in Business Administration, my latest goal is now to become a financial professional while having international perspective on finance instead of domestic one and go beyond the traditional line of thinking. Moreover, holding a masters degree from abroad in financial management will give me a competitive edge over other potential job candidates.
I am really enthusiastic to attend the Masters of Financial Management at X University in order to understand different financial concepts and its applications to more complex real life situations. The masters program of this university will be the ideal preparation for my career because of its professionally planned career-driven modules particularly Quantitative Methods in Finance, International Finance, Financial and Managerial Accounting and Asset Management that have caught my attention as these will help me to build a concrete foundation in financial theories and its application in corporate finance field. Besides, the good reputation of high-quality education standards, distinguished faculty members are the factors which have motivated me to apply for my masters studies at X University.
I have completed twelve years of high school degree and four years of Bachelor of Business Administration degree with major in Accounting from X University which led to 16 years of education. The undergraduate curriculum in Business Administration introduced me to a wide variety of subjects in the field of accounting and finance. As a result I had demonstrated strong interest towards various financial and accounting related courses like Financial Management, Advanced Financial Accounting, Managerial Accounting, Cost Accounting, Money and Banking, Insurance and Risk Management provided me with a strong footing for masters of Financial Management program.
In addition to my academic qualifications, I have six years of work experience with two different organizations. Currently, I am working as a Junior Accounts and Admin Officer at a private company and my key responsibilities are to prepare end of period and end of year accounting statements, management of transactions, payroll management, cash management and financial reports and so on. In this position, I feel that I lack of in-depth knowledge in the field of finance and in order to reach higher financial professional levels in the present-day business driven world I need international perspective and I have to hone my technical financial skills. Thus my enthusiasm to do a masters degree in financial management from abroad energized.
Despite the fact that I was performing well at my work, I got an opportunity to obtain IT related knowledge since technology is an integral part of modern companies and having IT skill is essential. So I decided to accomplish one year diploma in database design and development which was an IT scholarship program offered and sponsored by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
After completing my graduation I would engage myself in a corporate finance field, as a financial consultant, according to my long cherished dream, which would offer me to apply my gained knowledge to the practical field and having this masters degree will strongly support my career path. Since financial professionals are likely to be working directly with leaders and decision-makers inside or outside of the company, it will definitely enrich my critical and analytical thinking as well as leadership and decision making capability. On other hand, I think living in another country for a while would be a great adventure and unique experience, especially if it is Germany, known for its rich cultural heritage and for its technological brilliance. In my opinion getting to know different professional cultures and to able to use different working styles is vital for a true professional to excel.
I am grateful for the given opportunity and time to review my motivation letter. I believe I can enrich this program by bringing a high level of energy, motivation and diversity. I am really interested in this program and I believe my determination and my academic background combined with my work experience may meet your requirements.
Sincerely Yours
XXXHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 There are more irrelevant than relevant paragraphs in this presentation. The motivation related paragraphs are numbers 1, 2, 4, and 5. These may be adjusted in presentation format and information scale to relate to the basis of your motivation based on several aspects. The letter of motivation should not contain personal statement data which is why I suggest removing those paragraphs in your presentation. The motivational details in terms of advanced job training and duty requirements should be highlighted.
My review is based on the standard criteria for a motivational letter and does not consider any university specific instructions for it. That is because you did not include writing instructions from the university (if any).
