Hi everyone. I'm applying for the Erasmus Mundus Master's degree in International Humanitarian Action and the Erasmus Mundus scholarship. They have asked me to write a brief motivation statement (3000 characters max). Here's what I need help with:
1. Any idea on how can I make the letter more convincing
2. The letter has become quite big, some 6000 characters, what parts can I reduce
3. Overall anything I need to work on
(I'm not sure if this is going to be helpful, but my country of origin is India)
Would be grateful for any advice you can offer :)
MOTIVATION LETTER
"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain." ~ Emily Dickinson
My reason for applying to NOHA is very simple - I want to learn about humanitarian work and make contributions in the field. My main goal is to work to alleviate gender inequality and promote education & career among women.
Needless to say, both issues are close to my heart. I was lucky to have had many opportunities in my life. But I don't see those opportunities extended to many of my neighbors and even family members because of their gender. I feel responsible to help others achieve what was handed over to me because I was born to certain parents.
That said without financial aid, it will be impossible for me to pursue my goal.
I have always been interested in humanitarian work. The idea of doing good for others had been brewing in my mind for as long as I can remember. The only reason I did not pursue it full time is because - 1) I did not know you can do it full time and 2) I was raised with the idea that I need to work to earn money.
Three decades ago my family moved from a small village to the city in hopes of a better life. Over the years my father experienced financial losses and our lives were plunged into an endless struggle. My brother and I shouldered the responsibility of pulling the family of this darkness.
In our early years of hardship, the people who helped us, they were not our family members nor friends but neighbors and strangers. They helped us without expecting anything back. This generosity of the human heart made a deep impression on me when I was little. It stirred within me a passion to pursue humanitarian work.
Years passed and I got admission into a college fully aware that I was one of the few women in my family to have reached this place of privilege. Soon enough I'll be eligible for a job, something that many girls in my family don't even dream of.
Around that time, I connected with a local NGO and following a quick interview, I was given the opportunity to teach English to children from a slum. Over the period of 6 months I peeked into the lives of these children and was honored to be able to learn from them. The knowledge that I was contributing to change the lives of these children and their future generation filled me with pride. The idea of taking an action which will alter the lives of people for generations to come still haunts me.
I would have continued this humanitarian work if I did not have a family to support. So after getting a Bachelor's degree in English and a Masters in Mass Communication & journalism, I landed a job as a content writer and editor.
My city of Kolkata was once a thriving capital forced to serve the British crown. Following independence, however, the city suffered many decades of political violence and economic stagnation. So in 2018, I moved to the Silicon Valley of India (i.e. Bangalore) on my own. Having had a sheltered upbringing, this shift marked the beginning of the most difficult period of my life.
In Bangalore, I joined a small startup and seeked many responsibilities.
I spent a few years exploring content but was soon feeling restless like I wasn't doing enough. I had kept in touch with the NGO and had been financially aiding them. Perhaps it was this connection, seeing my friends that the NGO working relentlessly to get the children educated made me question the value of what I was doing with my life.
I became vocal about my thoughts and luckily one of my friends introduced me to Erasmus Mundus Joint Master Degree Program which he was also pursuing (in filmmaking).
I researched, came across the International Humanitarian Action Program, and realized that the course can help me transition to a full-time humanitarian career.
The more I thought about my personality and achievements the more convinced I became that this was the right path for me.
Having worked for 5 years in two different fast-paced startups I have had the opportunity to develop a wide variety of skills.
I built a product website from scratch and made it into a revenue channel. At the time of writing this, the site is drawing 95,000 pageviews and generation <insert no. later> income every month.
To get the site where it is now, I had to conceptualize where we want to take the site in 2 years then lay a plan on how to reach our goals with the help of current resources. The results were of course constantly monitored which helped improve the work and reach our goals faster.
In the process of building the site, learning became entirely self-directed. I was working on a startup with limited resources and no processes to adhere to. There was a ton of work and a million different paths to take. The founders were never able to offer enough help. So I had to become very self-reliant, learn to take a plunge of faith, fall face first, and rise again to fail again. If anything I learned to love failure.
I also learned to be consistent and relentless which helped turn a new product site into a very sought after information channel.
One of the best things about working at a startup is that they are very inclusive. I was lucky to have had exposure to many cultures via colleagues from different parts of the country. I also had the opportunity to hire and manage a group of people which certainly pushed me to become more communicative, think better, listen better, and empathize better.
Having to work closely with a founder who had over a decade of experience pushed me out of my comfort zone and I grew fast. Working in a fast-paced environment taught me to be creative, to work smart. Overall, it has been one hell of a ride.
I feel like I have made a decade's worth of progress within the span of a few years. I've learned skills and developed confidence to take on whatever life throws at me. If given a chance to enter the field of humanitarian work, I'm sure I won't stop until I make a difference.
Best RegardsHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 The first thing you have to lose is the quotation at the very start. That is a waste of character space. Never use a quotation in any application essay. The reviewer is not interested in the words of other people, no matter how well it describes your motivation. He is only interested in your words, thoughts, and motivation description. The reason for applying refers to 2 good motivations to apply for the EM scholarship Focus on expanding the explanation in relation to those 2 motivations only. Of course these have to be based on your professional exposure in the field.
Delete the reasons why you did not pursue the full-time work, it makes you sound materialistic rather than a civic minded individual. The rest of the essay information is totally irrelevant. You need to delete the rest of the information and just focus on the 2 topics that I suggested above so that you can create a proper motivation letter below 3000 characters.
