Dear Sir/ Madam
I am _, student of Safety Engineering in _ at the _. With this letter I would like to express my strong interest for participation at your Student Exchange Programme in this year. As an undergraduate, I plan to build an international career in the field of Occupational Health and Safety, so this programme will really mean a lot for my professional aspirations. Capability to handle problems, social balance and the necessity to gain an international experience outside my Polytechnic make me a proper candidate for this position.
Joining Student Exchange Programme is my dream. I want to learn from outside my country. Enrichung my experience by studying and working together with many persons from different countries is my aim. Fortunately, my Polytechnic had a relationship program with _ and offered student exchange programme. This is a good opportunity for me. This is the way I can achieve my dream.
During my studies, I was joined in many organizations. I like to work in team, being a part of a brain storming discussion and handling events. My main organization is Safety Engineering Student Organization at Human Resource Development Division. In this division we handle trainning for Safety Engineering Students and others to get certificate, develop their talents and handle new student orientation. Beside joining main organization, I handle some events such as National Seminar and My Polytechnic Anniversary. From those experience, I have develop my skill in handling organization and it become my competence.
My major is Safety Engineering that has corelation with chemical engineering. That is why I choose Bachelor of Chemical Engineering Technology (Hons.) in Environment. The reason I choose this major because I really interested in bad effect of working operation to environtment and how to solve this problem. By taking some major from Chemical Engineering Technology (Hons.) in Environment, I can enrich my knowledge about the application of chemical engineering in environtment then I will combine it with Safety Engineering to solve problems that will occur in the future.
There was wise words said "chance will not come twice". I use this these words as my moto. I will do the best I can while I still have time and with opportunity that has given to me. It will be my honor if I am accepted to study in Kuala Lumpur University. I will do the best during my study to achieve my dream to become Internationally Experienced Safety Professional. Hopefully, I can make the relationship between _ and _ become wider.
That is all from me. Thank you for your consideration.
Your essay is interesting !! my comments on it :
Enrichung my experience by studying and working together with many persons from different countries is my aim.
( My aim is to enrich my experience by studying and working with lots of people and from different countries.)
This is a good opportunity for me. This is the way I can achieve my dream.( I think this is a good opportunity to achieve my dream ! )
During my studies, I was joined
in many organizations.
to work in team team work0FF]team work , being a( as a ) part of a brain storming discussion and handling events
to get certificate , certification
Beside s joining main organization
From those experiences ,
I have developed my skills in handling the/ an organization
That is why ( So, I)
I am really interested
howfinding ways to solve this problem.
to solve problems that
willmay occur in the future.
was wise words saidis a wise saying "chance will not come twice". I use this these words asam taking this as my moto.
Over all your essay conveys the idea you want to express to the reader, but some grammatical mistakes coming across,
try to improve, and you can defiantly do better.
All the best !!
Bonar, apart from grammatical corrections that has been given by Robin, let me help you with your introduction paragraph since that is the most essential part to attract or impress the readers. First, I think that "introducing yourself" is not necessary because you have already mentioned your complete identity in separated parts of the application form. Second, you need to pay attention to the minimum words limit (if it is available). It is usually a strict rule, if you violate the rule, your application will not be considered as a valid application.
Furthermore, instead closing a letter that sounds like a speech "That is all from me. Thank you for your consideration." You can change it into "For the sake of my professional development in the future, I would be grateful if my application can be successfully admitted by the selection committee of ...... scholarship. Thank you in advance."
Overall, your essay is understandable and very informative. Good luck for your application.