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Motivational letter for Master degree at Freiberg University of Mining and Technology --

Sukhrob 1 / -  
Apr 28, 2020   #1
Thank you for your support, any help would be helpful.

Motivation letter

I am writing this letter to express my great interest in applying for the Master degree of Mechanical and Process Engineering at Freiberg University of Mining and Technology to gain in-depth knowledge and skills in mechanical industry in order to start a career in one of the international companies.

It is well-known that Germany is one of the leading countries in the field of engineering, while Uzbekistan has started its way towards preparing skilled youth who are specialized in engineering in recent years, accordingly, the need in world-class specialists in my homeland is higher now than before. I would like not only to build a successful career, but also try to contribute to the computerization of manufacturing and the development of this sector here in Navoi, and, possibly, change it for the better. The main reason why I would like to enhance my knowledge in this area of study is because I want to be able to manage cutting-edge technologies such as fully automotive manufacturing processes, high- tech machines and equipments, appliances and so forth

After a detailed review of the curriculum, my desire to become part of this course increased significantly, as the course offerings will help me gain experience and advanced my knowledge in areas such as thermodynamics and mechanics, which would be critical components for me when conducting a study on improving surface quality such metals like Aluminum, Steel, and so on by optimizing the cutting parameters to obtain a better surface roughness, which I started as the student of NSMI.

Moreover, the master's program is offered in English, which attracted my attention, since I passed the IELTS test and scored 6.5. Furthermore, studying at Freiberg University of Mining and Technology enables me to improve my skills and interpersonal talents. Besides, I will have the opportunity to develop myself in an international environment giving me the chances to meet new people with different points of view, which would be very enriching experience for me.

I believe that my previous educational background and internship experience coupled with my abilities and great enthusiasm make me worthy candidate for this particular course. I am convinced that this master program would provide me with the necessary theoretical knowledge and practical skills I will need for a successful career in the future. I am very enthusiastic to have opportunity to study at Freiberg University of Mining and Technology and to demonstrate my skills and ideas.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.
Juraev Sukhrob
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Apr 29, 2020   #2
Remove the reference to your IELTS results. It doesn't flow well with the rest of the paragraph. However, you can say that the English curriculum enticed you even more to enroll at the university because of your interest in improving your existing English spoken and written skills.

Your letter is actually quite good, content-wise. However, it requires some professional editing to remove the run on sentences and deliver a more appropriate formatting of the letter. You can actually do the editing yourself. Shorten the long sentences by delivering only one idea or explanation per sentence. Use a period instead of a comma to separate the presentations.

The written English in the letter is not perfect but it clearly delivers your thoughts and motivations, which is the whole point of the letter. So, save for some editing problems, the letter delivers on all fronts. It can be made stronger once you apply the edits I mentioned above.

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