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"Recommendation letter" for employee who wants to pursue his study and need to apply for an award


Chan Dara 2 / 7 6  
Mar 10, 2016   #1
I am drafting a recommendation letter as I want to apply for scholarship for Master Degree in Health. My boss is a very kind person; he will just agree with and sign whatever I put forward to him. Help me write better, please. I might miss important information that should have been included.

I think the scholarship is looking for following qualities from applicants: leadership, one who drive change, one who contribute to security and economic growth for sustainable development, one who build link between his home the destination country. They will access the applicant for their professional and personal quality, academic competence, and potential impact on development challenges.


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To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to serve as my recommendation for Mr D.C who is under my supervision. For more than seven years, he has been with the XYZ Organization in Cambodia to provide comprehensive support services for HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Blood Transfusion team which I am currently leading.

During the period, Mr D.C consistently demonstrated a strong work ethic and a dedication to success. His work produced high quality results. He can communicate effectively with our counterparts on daily basis and thus making his support a very valuable part in our effort at providing the Cambodian government with technical and financial assistance. Though Mr D.C is my assistant, he is apparently in an unofficial leadership role. Many of his peers seek his advice and support. He exhibits ... [I tried to find example, like saying "he is always there for them" but it may sound awkward] and is quite comfortable in the role. He is the type of person who is receptive to new ideas and relentlessly seeking opportunities for continuous learning and professional growth.

His strong performance in XYZ Organization is a good indication of how he would perform in other places and I highly recommend him for any endeavor he chooses to pursue.

If I can be of any further assistance, or provide you with any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

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Imaging you are the selection committee, what do you think about the quality of the letter after reading it:
- Mediocre letter: Nobody write an outright bad letter of recommendation, but experienced person will know that this letter was produced for the sake of an employee's request. So it's bad in my opinion.

- Good letter: It might not show anything exceptional about the person. But it may actually help.
- Outstanding letter: We should aim for this one, please help.
Hiddengrace 6 / 118 68  
Mar 12, 2016   #2
Hey there Chan! Your letter is very short. I don't think it goes into enough detail about your personal character, duties/ responsibilities, accomplishments/ achievements, competence, experience and skills relating to the health field, etc... Most effective letters are about a page long, I'd say. So I think you really need to go into more details about what you do at this job and how that translates into your want for this graduate program.

to provide comprehensive support services for HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Blood Transfusion team which I am currently leading.

This whole part is awkward. You provide services for the team? Who are the people you provide services to? Is it agencies? People suffering from HIV and TB? Saying you provide services to the team is just unclear. What kinds of services? Also, you have clearly identified that this person is a boss, you don't need to add the "to which I am currently leading" part.

How do you communicate effectively? What kind of assistance do you provide? Be more specific.

he is apparently in an unofficial leadership role.

This is also awkwardly written. You don't need to say apparently if you feel that you are unofficially a leader and take the lead on projects or give advice, etc...

I would also include more about what you feel your skills and strengths would be that will help you succeed in this program.


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