Hi, people please review my LOR. Please advise if there is any area to improve or make this letter better.
Thank you so much in advance.
To Whom It May Concern,
As chief manager of marketing division of xxx company, I would like to take an opportunity to offer a formal recommendation for Mr. Wipu Laosirirat. Wipu and I discussed about his recent decision to pursue master studies through your university. I acclaim his decision and strong desire to take his dedication and skill to the next level.
During his two years in marketing officer position, Wipu has a great logical reasoning ability and an effective team member skill. He had to coordinate with many teams mainly sales and logistic teams to resolve problem, minimize risk, maximize profit and negotiate best outcome for the organization. He was also a key team member that collaborated with both production and marketing team in developing monthly and yearly production plan to achieve its target under tight demand and supply constraint.
On the interpersonal side, Wipu has superior written and verbal communication skills. He gets along extremely well with his colleagues also his superior. He is highly respected, as both a person and as a professional, by colleagues and employees.
I believe Wipu exhibits many of the qualities that are essential to business students. An stronger education will help him to truly succeed in his further career. By diminishing his shortcomings and improving his talents. Since the curriculum offered by your esteemed university is designed to build on each student's capabilities, I highly recommend Wipu Laosirirat for your program and hope that you will carefully consider admission application.
At the second paragraph,i think you should use plural
Thank Tomomi for your comment. Any more suggestion?
I Just realize that I Post an thread in wrong forum. How can I move it to Graduation Admission Forum? -_-"
During his two years in a marketing officer position...
Wipu has a demonstrated great logical reasoning ability and effective teamwork.
He had to coordinate with many teams, mainly sales and logistic teams, to resolve problems, minimize risk, maximize profit, and negotiate the best outcomes for the organization.
He was also a key team member that collaborated with both the production and marketing team in developing ...
On the interpersonal side With regard to interpersonal effectiveness, Wipu has superior written and verbal communication skills.
He gets along extremely well with his colleagues also his superiors .
... succeed in his further career.
By diminishing his shortcomings and improving his talents. (this is an incomplete sentence... and I think it is unnecessary. Too vague.)
Your last sentence is great!
I was wrong. "Risk"and "profit" are uncountable nouns.
Thank you Kevin for the right sentence.