really need your feedback
recommendation from the professor for master program
Dear Admissions Committee,
As his professor in Undergraduate Program during his last two year at the Faculty of Electrical & Electronics Engineering, Y . I am very pleased to recommend X in his admission in The Master of Information System. I hope this letter can help describe his quality as well as expressing my deepest support for him. He is an excellent person and a student of exceptional promise who can contribute substantially to your program.
I first encountered X when he came to me three year ago to discuss the possibility of spending a summer working in my lab. During one and a half-year period of studying with me, I was impressed by his intelligence, integrity, hard work, self-motivated in research work and demonstrated a love of learning. I noticed that he is very interested in the algorithms in intelligent control as PID, Fuzzy Logic control, C programming and Modelling Matlab to build some modes in some courses project and Project Work with me. When I supervised his thesis, I was impressed with his potential and patience. He made every effort to apply his theoretical about electronic, automation, networking and control theory to build watering system in his own garden which was far away from our lab, that impressed me the most. I think this is a big problem but facing all kinds of difficulties, he didn't give up and kept on trying. During the progress, I can conclude that he have a good background. I think he will be a good master student with good electrical and control background, strong computer programming, analytical and problem solving skills.
In essence, his knowledge, abilities and attitude are exceptional and will greatly benefit your program . Therefore, I strongly recommend X as a competitive candidate to your esteemed program. If you need more information about X, please feel free to contact me.Dear Loc,
Is watering system something extraordinary that proves his qualifications?
Some mistakes need to be corrected:
- First "sentence" is just a phrase, not a complete sentence;
- "self-motivated" ... and "demonstrated a love of learning", "his theoretical about.." : use nouns or noun phrases instead;
- "He have ...".
Hope it helps.
Yours sincerely,
@ThaiHoangLoc
Hi, welcome to the forum! I'm here to give you feedback on this text. Aside from what has already been mentioned, I'll do my best to diversify and branch out.
Firstly, the level of professionalism in the writing is decent. Despite this observation, I still find that certain parts of the text could be omitted to better benefit your writing. For instance, the second paragraph needs to be written without all of the personal observations. Avoid mentioning "I think" as it is indicative of uncertainty - a trait that you don't want when you're being evaluated for a Masters program. Stick with the basics as much as possible.
Observe as well small mistakes in the configuration of words.
Lastly, the concluding paragraph could have had more impact. You merely reiterated what you had already mentioned. What I can suggest is try to incorporate here a distinctive activity or class that you can be proud of - and ensure that your professor is aware of such endeavors. Adding this last minute flair would boost your chances in getting in.
Hey,
I just have one suggestion. In your 2nd paragraph, you say "I think this is a big problem but facing all ..."
I think that instead of just saying that, you should actually write a specific example of the said problem you faced and how you overcame the issue with the help of your professor. This will improve your LOR as you will be giving concrete evidence to support your claims.
Same goes for other qualities that you have mentioned in your letter.
A general rule of thumb, as explained to me by another professor, is that if you can swap out your name with any other person's name in your class in the LOR, then that LOR is not as effective as compared to the one which only works for you and not for anyone else.
