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Letter of recommondation for Law School's scholarship


This is the first time that I apply for a scholarship, so please give me your opinions about my letter. Thanks alot

Dear TLBU Graduate School of Law in Seoul,

At the request of Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam, I am pleased to write this letter of recommendation in support of her application for admission to your law school. I have over 13 years experience working in Legal of Banking and Finance. I have been the Policy Director of Risk Management of Commercial products at Techcombank since 2015 and before that I had worked as a Head of Division at Asia Commercial Bank for 12 years. I have a close understanding of Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam's academic capability as a supervisor who worked with her since 2008 after she had finished her internship. Not only her skills, but also her attitude that made her falls into one of the top 10% staffs I have worked with.

I have worked very closely with Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam both as a supervisor from the period of her internship days and as an advisor at present. During this time I have been very impressed by the dedicated manner with which Tam carried out her work assignments and pursued her academic coursework. Her outstanding grasp of logic, responsibility, and communication skills has drawn my attention, which result in my decision to recruit Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam as an official staff at ACB.

Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam possesses many other qualities which I believe will make her a very successful student of the law. She is very bright and has demonstrated an eagerness to learn. She is a quick study and has shown the ability to grasp general principles as well as subtle details. One of her best abilities is litigated, a field that required the logical and communication skills. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam excelled in both. She always tries her best to research, self-study in her spare time to enlarge her scope of knowledge, improve her ability to collect information, analyze and solve practical problems to a greater extent which enabled her confidently represent ACB in court.

She always tries to improve herself not only on her work, but also on her English ability. Having 850 points on the TOEIC test is the result from studying by herself. Moreover, in order to seek the foreign environment to develop her legal English, she changed her job to SCTV, where she has to draft, review and negotiate contract with foreign television companies such as: MBC, SBS, Tsuburaya, etc. By this experience, Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam possesses an excellent grasp the English language and displayed effective writing and speaking skill through her work.

However, all her strong points in communication in court sometimes effected her daily communication. In order to be good in court, she is quite concentrated and diligently works on her own and she used to talk in a sharp way, so sometimes in normal life, she is not very tactful, and will often say what she is thinking with her sharp tongue. That result in sometimes people who first know her might feel that her criticism may come across as negative instead and be afraid of her. However, after a little time, they will have difference feeling about her and will be attracted by her sense of humor. Without being loud or interruptive, she was a ready to help everyone and was conscientiously completing assigned tasks. She is very resourceful and trustworthy during the time we had worked together.

Tam had discussed the idea of pursuing advanced studies abroad with me to seek for my advice. It has been a pleasure to write this letter for Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam. I greatly encourage her to pursue her own dreams on pursuing further studies abroad so as to broaden her horizon and enlarge her scope of knowledge. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam is an outstanding young woman who has a very strong interest in studying the law. She has demonstrated the character and work ethic that I am confident will lead to success in her legal studies and subsequent legal career with her meticulous attitude in scientific studies and her persevering and enterprising spirit. It is for these reasons that I provide her with my most outstanding recommendation. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam will make a great addition to your law school's program. Thus, I am enthusiastic to offer myself as her reference. Your favorable consideration of her application will be most appreciated. Should you have questions, please feel free to contact me.

Yours sincerely and Warmest regards,

Hi Minh Tam, welcome to EssayForum :) This is a remarkable place to practice your essay writing skill, particularly in writing a letter of recommendation. You can check the detailed feedback in the below descriptions.

- First of all, I have never seen a letter of recommendation that exceeds 400 words. Your letter is more than 700 words, it will make the letter separated into two pages. I suggest you to summarize the information that you presented into at least 300-400 words. However, if the scholarship requirement told you to create more than 700 words, it is better to follow that rule and ignore my suggestion.

- Second of all, I have found some unnecessary points that should not be appeared in the letter. One of them is your TOEIC score. Almost all scholarship applications have separated sheet for you to write any English Language test scores that you have, either IELTS, TOEFL, or perhaps TOEIC. Mentioning this part would be unnecessary.

- The good thing is, you did not have any serious problems with grammar. Therefore, you can directly post the revision after you have finished omitting and summarized some unnecessary points. Good luck for that :)
Thank you for your comment. the scholarship doesn't require the number of words in Letter of recommendation. However, my essay is long because they request my reference answer some question questions that the scholarship requires below:

1. How long and in what capacity have you known the applicant?
2. What is your assessment of the applicant's academic and legal abilities? (The applicant's academic performance among his classes: Top.... %)
3. Does the applicant have any special talents, abilities, or attitudes that deserve mention?
4. What is your knowledge of the applicant's integrity or lack of integrity?
5. Does the applicant have any particular weaknesses that deserve mention
6. Are you aware of any personality characteristic, which might negatively affect the applicant's performance as a student at TLBU?
7. What is the applicant's proficiency in written and spoken English?
This is the letter that I have summarized as your suggestion.

Dear TLBU Graduate School of Law in Seoul,

I am pleased to write this letter of recommendation in support of her application for admission to your law school. I have over 13 years of experience working in Legal of Banking and Finance. I have been the Policy Director of Risk Management of Commercial products at Techcombank since 2015 and before that I had worked as a Head of Division at Asia Commercial Bank for 12 years. I have a close understanding of Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam's academic capability as a supervisor who worked with her since 2008 after she had finished her internship. Not only her skills, but also her attitude that made her fall into one of the top 10% staffs I have worked with.

I have worked very closely with Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam both as a supervisor from the period of her internship days and as an advisor at present. Her outstanding grasp of logic, responsibility, and communication skills has drawn my attention, which resulted in my decision to recruit Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam as an official staff at ACB.

During this time I have been very impressed by the dedicated manner with which Tam carried out her work assignments and pursued her academic coursework. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam possesses many other qualities which I believe will make her a very successful student of the law. She is very bright and has demonstrated an eagerness to learn. She is quick at study and has shown the ability to grasp general principles as well as subtle details. One of her best abilities is litigation, a field that require logic and communication skills. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam excelled in both. She always tries her best to research, self-study in her spare time to enlarge her scope of knowledge, improve her ability to collect information, analyze and solve practical problems to a greater extent which enabled her confidently represent ACB in court.

She always tries to improve herself not only on her work, but also on her English ability. In order to develop her legal English, she changed her job to SCTV, where she has to draft, review and negotiate contract with foreign television companies such as: MBC, SBS, Tsuburaya, etc. By this experience, Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam possesses an excellent grasp of the English language and displayed effective writing and speaking skill through her work.

In order to be good in court, she is quite concentrated and diligently works on her own and she uses words to talk in strong terms. That result of it sometimes let people be afraid of her as her criticism may come across as negative instead. However, after a little time, they will have difference feelings about her and will be attracted by her sense of humor. Without being loud or interruptive, she was a ready to help to everyone and was conscientiously completing assigned tasks. She is very resourceful and trustworthy during the time we had worked together.

Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam had discussed the idea of pursuing advanced studies abroad with me to seek for my advice. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam is an outstanding young woman who has a very strong interest in studying the law. She has demonstrated the character and work ethics that I am confident will lead to success in her legal studies and subsequent legal career with her meticulous attitude in scientific studies and her persevering and enterprising spirit. It is for these reasons that I provide her with my most outstanding recommendation. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam will make a great addition to your law school's program. Thus, I am enthusiastic to offer myself as her reference. Your favorable consideration of her application will be most appreciated. Should you have questions, please feel free to contact me.

Yours faithfully,
Hi Minh, first of all, I can see that you have been very quick in modifying your letter according to our suggestions here on EF, this is a very good sign of a good writer, however, as much as we appreciate your feedback and gratitude towards our work, I would like to suggest the following to further enhance the letter.

- it is a letter of recommendation, therefore it should be written with confidence, having said that, this did not show in the letter, as a reader, I feel like you are pushing it too much, stay relaxed and confident in recommending a person

- the length of the letter is very unnecessary, a letter of recommendation should not be this long, it should only make mention of the qualities of the person that is relevant to the position they are trying to apply or the purpose of the letter itself.

Modify it by stating pertinent information that will uplift the credibility and abilities of the applicant.

- Towards the conclusion of the essay, it is better to leave it to the panelist and not mention the purpose of the letter as this is the last part of the letter already. Below is my suggestion;

In pursuin her education abroad, we are here to provide utmost support to Ms. Tam and should you need further reference in her application, please don't hesitate to contact us.

Sincerely your's,

_______________


There you have it Minh, remember, in writing a letter of recommendation, it is best to provide true and correct information as this will have a direct impact towards the recommended party.
@justivy03: Thanks for your advice, I have revised my letter. Please give your opinions on it for me. Thanks alot.

Dear TLBU Graduate School of Law in Seoul,

I am pleased to write this letter of recommendation in support of her application for admission to your law school. I have been the Policy Director of Risk Management of Commercial products at Techcombank since 2015 and before that I had worked as a Head of Division at Legal Department of Asia Commercial Bank (ACB) for over 12 years.

I have a close understanding of Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam's academic capability as a supervisor who worked with her since 2008 after she had finished her internship at ACB. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam is an outstanding young woman who has a very strong interest in studying the law. Her outstanding grasp of logic, responsibility, and communication skills has drawn my attention, which resulted in my decision to recruit Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam as an official staff at ACB. Not only her skills, but also her attitude that made her fall into one of the top 10% staffs I have worked with. She has demonstrated the character and work ethics that I am confident will lead to success in her legal studies and subsequent legal career with her meticulous attitude in scientific studies and her persevering and enterprising spirit.

One of her best abilities is litigation, a field that require logic and communication skills. Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam excelled in both. She has shown the ability to collect information, grasp general principles as well as subtle details in order to analyze and solve practical problems to a greater extent which enabled her confidently represent ACB in court. Without being loud or interruptive, she was ready to help to everyone and was conscientiously completing assigned tasks. She was very resourceful and trustworthy during the time we had worked together.

In 2015, she changed her job to Saigontourist Cable TV Co. Ltd. (SCTV), where she has to draft, review and negotiate contract with foreign television companies such as: MBC, SBS, Tsuburaya, etc. By this experience, Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam possesses an excellent grasp of the English language and displayed effective writing and speaking skill through her work.

It is for these reasons that I provide Ms. Tran Le Minh Tam with my most outstanding recommendation for your law school's program, which she will make a great addition to. In pursuing her education abroad, I am here to provide utmost support to Ms. Tam and should you need any further reference in her application, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely your's,
Hi Minh, thank you for appreciating our work here on EF. It definitely boost our confidence whenever we receive great words of appreciation towards our work. Now, as much as would like to say that this revision is well written, I must say that the length and information that you included in this letter is still overwhelming, however, I'm not sure if this is how it is normally written in your country. Though it should not vary, I must admit that somehow, countries or education approach certainly differs in each country, therefore,

if this is how it is done, then this letter is far greater than it should be.

Having said that, such letter can only be overwhelming if you wrote it in a way that the ideas went over board or not in lined with the purpose of the letter and in this revision, you managed to create a lengthy letter of recommendation without going off the topic.

Overall, it is a revision that made sure to streamline the purpose of the letter and do let us know what comes out of this application, we would love to hear from you.


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