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You rented an apartment for a holiday last year and you were happy with it


Mike Wong 4 / 3 1  
May 9, 2016   #1
You rented an apartment for a holiday last year and you were happy with it although there was a problem with it. You want to rent it again this year, write a letter about

  1) why you were happy with it
  2) what was the problem
  3) give information of the details and dates you required.


Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to rent one of your apartments for my upcoming holiday.

In fact, I rented an apartment from you during my holiday last year, and was really delighted with the service I received. If my memory serves me right, the number of the room that I stayed was N123. On my arrival there, I was happy to find that the apartment was more spacious than I had thought. On top of that, the south-facing bedroom overlooked a lovely flower-filled garden. The apartment was even equipped with cooking appliances, which enabled me to cook healthy meals instead of eating out.

However, there was a trivial problem. I found the Internet access was not reliable as expected, because the link went down occasionally. I suppose the culprit might be the net cable, which appeared a bit worn out. So it is better for you to replace it with a new one.

Despite the Internet issue, everything else was perfect during my stay there, as I mentioned above. Therefore, I would like to book a rented accommodation with you for this holiday, which starts on 7th of this month and ends on 15th. You can reach me at 13778455624.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours faithfully
John Smith
mersad 8 / 14 6  
May 10, 2016   #2
Hi @Mike, this is a well-organized writing which includes a wide range of vocabulary and acceptable range of grammatical structure. However, I would like to suggest the following grammatical points:

1- I was happy to find that the apartment was more spacious than I had thought ==>I was happy to find that the apartment WHICH was more spacious than I had thought

2- To increase the range of grammar/ You irritate this pattern twice==> ... cooking appliances, which enabled me to .. and ..might be the net cable, which appeared a bit.. ==> ...appliances, enabling me...

3- book a rented accommodation with ==> book theaccommodation rented last year, once again...

I hope this insights will be helpful in your revision.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 10, 2016   #3
Hi Wang, here's another take on your letter.

- anone of your apartments
- from you during my holiday last year,
- and was reallyvery delighted
- OnUpon my arrival there,
- whichthat enabled me to

- However, there was a trivial problem.( this phrase is not necessary )
- I found that the Internet
- So it is better for you to replaceI suggest replacing it with a new one in order to keep the connection stable and even better. .

There you have it Wang, I left the last two paragraphs of your letter so that you will be able to exercise yourself in editing your own letter, following the ones suggested above. I hope to read you revised letter soon.
mersad 8 / 14 6  
May 10, 2016   #4
Some further comment:
I personally prefer to use " south-facing bedroom had a lovely flower-filled garden" rather than " the south-facing bedroom overlooked a lovely flower-filled garden."

In addition I would like to express that I highly enjoy from the applied adjective like "flower-filled " and "south-facing"
Good Luck


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